Thursday, February 16, 2012

Abuse is not affection

Friend of mine linked to this post, and I think it bears repeating:
Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, I urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
Seriously, just go read the whole thing.

Abuse is not affection. Being mean to people is no way to show that you like them.


  1. Fantastic article! Thanks for a good read.

  2. I have a follow-up post, if I can find time to write it. Maybe this afternoon.

  3. That was really well-done. I can't believe the folks whining about "the language". Good grief.

  4. I'm a man, but I think in my first few years of school I was sometimes told things like that when girls teased me. I think I was more often told to ignore them, 'though. I don't think I was ever attacked physically by a girl, so I don't know what sort of response I'd have gotten then.

    It looks as 'though this mostly happens when the genders are the other way 'round, 'though. I wonder why adults would have told me that sort of thing, when it sounds as 'though normally only girls get it? I forget how many people told me that sort of thing, perhaps I happened to have one teacher who took an attitude normally only applied when the genders are one way around and applied it when they were the other way around too.

    IIRC I found the claim pretty confusing. I suppose that was because it didn't actually make any sense.

  5. Belatedly, via the Slacktivist blogaround...

    TW: Domestic Violence

    I don't know if you've heard of the college lacrosse player currently on trial for beating and strangling his girlfriend to death? There's no doubt about his guilt; the issue is mainly a murder vs. manslaughter conviction.

    Now, I get that his lawyer is trying to do the best he can for his client, but this is what he said: instead of trying to talk to the girl like a rational adult, "he kicked in her door, and was stupid, unthoughtful, loud and clumsy and intoxicated...He is what you get; he's a boy athlete."

    Which, even if you limit "stupid, unthoughtful, loud and clumsy and intoxicated" to the door-kicking and yelling parts, and exclude the punching and strangling, well, if I was a "boy athlete" I'd be really insulted.

    Seriously? Boys are louts, and that's all we can expect? Bwah?


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