The Seventies are over, man...

A note to politicians and the media:

President Richard Nixon resigned on August 9, 1974. The actual break-in which eventually caused his resignation occurred just over two years earlier, on June 17, 1972. That means that the Watergate scandal ended thirty-seven freakin' years ago.

Now, I realize that it was a Big Deal at the time. I realize that for a lot of the fossils people currently running our government, this was a formative political experience. I can see how the media might consider it their finest hour, when a couple of reporters revealed a truth that ended a presidency. Really, truly, I get that.

But, again, thirty-seven freakin' years, people. Thirty-nine if you count from the break-in itself. Can we please, please, please stop attaching "-gate" to the end of every single political scandal that comes along, no matter how important or trivial? Seriously, and I say this with only your best interests at heart, LET IT GO, already.

I mean, okay, I'm only human. "Wienergate" is funny to say. But if you're going to call it that, why not go all way back? Why not call it the "Wiener Dome Scandal?" At least the middle-schoolers will actually recognize that reference. (History classes through the high school level generally start with Columbus, and almost never get past The Roarin' Twenties.)

Politicians? Media folks? I'd like to extend a personal invitation to all of you. Come join the rest of us in the new millennium. Let's talk about today's problems, instead of rehashing old culture war issues from the sixties and seventies. It'll help you retain the illusion of relevance, and - who knows? - it might even give us a start on fixing our current batch of problems. You might even like it here...