Music: You Want It Darker

 Leonard Cohen, because I have nothing to put in for today. 

It's going to be early bedtimes all the way this week.

If there's something you particularly want more of for tomorrow, put it in the comments and I'll see what I can do. Possibilities include: 

• The next bit of Tavros and his road to becoming a knight of the temple.
• A murder scene from Dark Armor
• Something with the ghost child haunting Bianca The Vampire's cellars? Maybe? Not sure what to do with this one outside of actual roleplay, which we aren't doing right now. Would consider suggestions.
  
• Another run at Shadow of War, this time with more conflict. (That's the one with Tamantha.)
  
• The next scene in Remnant of Heroes.
  
• Something with Darvinin and Ruin, maybe, since we'll be picking them up again in that campaign once the players are finished getting Saltmarsh burned to the ground in mine. No, no, don't ask. You don't want to know. 

Reading Old Scraps

I've spent a portion of this evening reading scraps of my old writing. It's... interesting. A lot of different stories that I started and then abandoned for one reason or another. Some of them could be salvaged; others, well, I'm not sure I could find the voice I was using when I first attempted them.

Here's one of them. It was actually a community-chosen story -- sort of like a Choose Your Own Adventure, but by committee -- so at the end of each section I'd put up a poll to see what people would choose next. I don't really have that capacity here on the Blog o' Doom, but if you want me to pursue something say so in the comments.

---

For a long time, there is nothing but darkness and silence. Then, slowly, the emptiness fills with light and sound, a bright and melodic beauty that fades almost before you become aware of it. You open your eyes to an arched ceiling high overhead, curving smoothly down to meet with the walls. A shiver runs down your back, and you realize that you're lying on cold stone -- some sort of table or altar.

Ceiling, walls, floor, and altar; all are white marble, shot through with veins of gold. There is light, more than enough for you to see, but it seems to come from everywhere. If there are any sort of blocks or joints in the stone, you can't see them. The whole room might have been carved from the heart of a single piece of stone.

You don't recognize the place. You're not sure if you just woke up; it doesn't feel like you've been asleep, and anyway the last thing you remember is that vague impression of light and... was it a song? And who would sleep naked in a place like this?

The stone is still cold, so you lower your feet to the floor. There, in front of the altar, is a crumpled figure. It is small and lean, lying face down and unmoving. Its white robe blends with the marble floor, and its arms are flung out in a way that looks awkward and uncomfortable.

At the far end of the room are three passageways. Squinting, you can make out the shapes at the far end of each: three low pillars, each with something on top of it. The passage on the left leads to the pillar that holds a book. The passage in the center leads to the pillar that holds a sword. The passage on the right leads to the pillar that holds a small statue in dark stone of some four-legged beast. At the foot of each pillar sits a pile of something that might be clothing, or armor, or both.

You are cold and shivering.

Do you...

...Follow the passage to the pillar with the book?
...Follow the passage to the pillar with the sword?
...Follow the passage to the pillar with the beast statue?
...Check on the figure on the floor?

Mundane Magic Items

As you probably know if you've been following this blog, I've finally gotten back to playing Dungeons and Dragons. This has naturally gotten me to thinking about magic items. Now, D'n'D has a long (and ever-growing) list of magical items, but it also has a distinct emphasis on adventuring equipment and particularly combat. And honestly, that seems to be the case in a lot of fantasy worlds: it's easy to find a legendary magical sword, or even have one made, but nobody ever seems to be out there getting rich by making the sort of things that people can actually use. You know, in their daily life, when the only Orc they've ever met is the head cook at Mama's Diner, and spends half his time reminding the kobolds to wash the dishes.

So, with that imbalance in mind, I submit to you a list of Mundane Magic Items: minor items, generally useless for combat, but exactly the sort of things that an enterprising Enchanter could get filthy rich selling in bulk to the general public.

-A stone that heats water
-A pot or pan that cooks anything placed within it
-An enchanted broom that sweeps and dusts when a command word is spoken
-A Decanter of Endless Honey (useful for sweetening your water elementals)
-A small sundial brooch that reminds you of appointments
-A small cloth square that will clean *anything* (I would have killed for this after that last battle in the sewer)
-Ring or Amulet of Insect Repulsion
-Umbrella of Feather Fall (also keeps rain off)
-A vial of paint that glows in the dark
-Goblet of Drink Chilling
-Box of Food Preservation
-Wall-Mending Putty which changes its surface to match the texture and paint around it
-A plow that turns any stones it hits into rich, aerated soil
-A small glyph that can be attached to anything, and answers when you call out to it
-Bottomless Chamberpot (dumps your cess into an extra-dimensional void, so it never needs to be emptied or cleaned!)

What other helpful magical gizmos should a magic-rich world have available?

Pocket Dimension

Congratulations! You have your own little world. Not just your imagination - this is a physical reality, and you can step into it at will. Maybe it's a pocket dimension, or your own private little corner of the Fay Realms. Whatever it is, it's yours. So...

1. What does your realm look like? Is it indoors? Outdoors? A cottage on a deserted shore? A crumbling castle at the heart of a dark forest? A broad lake with a waterfall at one end and beaches around three sides? Something else entirely?

2. Do you keep it to yourself, give a few friends access to it as well, or open it to anybody?

3. Does your realm have its own inhabitants? What are they like? Do you ever bring them across to our world?

4. Does entering your personal world change you? Do you dress differently, speak differently? Are you someone else when you're there?

5. Is time the same in your realm as it is out here? Is there a steady differential, like three days there pass in only an hour of our time? Or is it stranger than that?

6. How do you get to your world? Do you have to visit a specific place? Speak a certain phrase? Or is it just a matter of will and desire?

Most Unusual Story Idea

A while back, I put up a post inviting my noble readers to ask me anything. In response, Lydia came up with a series of very interesting questions. This is, I think, the third of her suggested topics:

What is the most unusual story idea you've ever come up with? If you have used it, can we read it? If you haven't used it yet, why not?

Boy, howdy.

One of the great truths of writing is that there is no new thing under the sun, and that novelty is much more in the execution than in the idea. And, as with most authors (I suspect), my writing tends to come back to certain certain themes and certain character types. We may contain multitudes, but they're our multitudes.

So I will say, without apology, that I usually tend to write either warrior-sorcerers, or some variation of (usually an expansion on) werewolves. I like characters who are versatile; I like characters who are caught in between things. (In D'n'D, I tend to play either half-elves or half-orcs. Same basic reason: I like blending archetypes, and setting up tensions between them.) But if that's my "usual", what's my "unusual"? And what would it take to qualify as "most unusual"?

I have a lot of weird dreams. Most of the memorable ones are extremely narrative -- that is, they either form cogent, coherent plots or they seem to be trying to do so. But that isn't governed by my preferences, and a lot of those bits of weirdness have been written down precisely because they feel like story ideas. Unusual story ideas.

But I think possibly the weirdest, least typical story idea I've had is the Chained Man. You can't read it... not yet. Among other things, I'm not sure if it's a mature YA story, or a full-on adult Dark Fantasy novel. I haven't gotten that far into it yet. I'm still throwing up spears and waiting to see where they fall, if that metaphor makes sense.

It's the story of a construct, a reanimated man bound by chains that run deep into the earth, for whom every bit of movement is an effort. It's the story of what happens when his master sends him out to retrieve another construct from the clutches of an invading hero. It's a story of what happens when things go horribly wrong, and the Chained Man begins to discover that almost nothing about his life is what he thought it was.

But you can't read it yet, because I haven't finished it.

Ask me anything

I've got absolutely nothing for today. So, if you're bored and want to ask me questions, I'll do my best to answer them. Or you can suggest topics. Or recommend books. Whatever, really. Fire away!

Nothin'

I got nothin' for this morning. How's your weekend shaping up? Everybody get out of the path of the hurricane? Is New Orleans still where we left it? Has the zombie apocalypse started yet?

Who's Your Villain Parent?

Right, so: I have now finished watching Descendants for the second time with my children. It's a Disney TV movie, basically featuring the children of some of the greatest Disney villains being sent to high school over in the good kingdoms of Disney princes and princesses. The five main characters are Mal (daughter of Maleficent, from Sleeping Beauty), Ben (son of Belle and the Beast, from Beauty and the Beast), Evie (daughter of the Evil Queen from Snow White), Jay (son of Jafar, from Aladdin), and Carlos (son of Cruella De Vil, from 101 Dalmations). The basic theme of the movie revolves around choosing your own path in life, because of and in spite of your parentage; the central plot revolves around Mal's mission to obtain the Fairy Godmother's wand so that she can free the villains from their imprisonment, and the growing romance between Mal and Ben -- but there are plenty of side-plots and the other characters all get their chances to show off. It's one of those things that could be horrible and schlocky, and in the event turns out to be amazingly well done instead.

So this got us to wondering who our own villain parents would be. It probably wasn't fair to ask the boys, since their only model for parents at this point are, well, us... but we had fun talking it over anyway.

Which leads me to ask all of you, my bright and creative readers: who would your Disney Villain parents be? And, as a result, what sort of powers or specialties would you have? And would you turn out good? Or maybe your parents were good -- in that case, who were they? And would you turn out evil? Or maybe just... evilish? (The movie is remarkably, and pleasantly, ambiguous about that. Just to pick one example, the son of Cinderella and Prince Charming is, well, not actually a very good guy.) So go with it: if you were making characters for a world like this, who would you be? What would your story arc look like? And where would you end up?

You can watch the preview below the cut:

Sci-Fi short film: Mech: Human Trials

Not long, and it plays like a preview for a full-length movie or even a TV series, but fun:

Where would you go with this idea, if you were writing it?

Big Black Nothing

Work has suddenly turned very, very busy, and I'm trying to write on the Ongoing Dark Fantasy Project. So I really have nothing for this morning.

I mean, my children continue to shoot me with Nerf weapons. My Jedi powers still fail to deflect them. But hey, that's life. Also, there's been poop. But, hey, parenting, y'know?

I don't know. I could use a reliable oracle, but instead I'm left to muddle through on my own.

How about the rest of you? Anyone else feeling... maybe not powerless, but at least slightly lost out there?

I've been wondering...

How exactly does one go about harking a herald? Or is that something only angels can do? My brilliant and delightful readers, I require answers. Please provide your best explanations (on matter how far-fetched or absurd) in the comments.

Ask the Readers: Character Types

My brain is not braining just now, and today will be an incredibly busy day, fraught with disruptions and likely somewhat frustrating, and anyway I need more sleep before I can be creative again. So, instead of trying to be clever myself (when I'm clearly not feeling it), I'm going ask you -- you lovely bunch of fun, interesting, and clever people -- something instead. The question, basically, is this:

What are your favorite kinds of characters, and why do you enjoy them? Are the characters you enjoy in books and movies different from the kinds of characters you like to play in games (tabletop or video games, either or both)? When you're picking out a bit of entertainment, are you most often hooked by characters, or by settings, or by plots? What kinds of genres do you most enjoy, and do your character preferences change if you're looking at a different genre?

It's not a questionnaire, obviously; it's just a topic about which I'd like to hear people's thoughts. Feel free to digress if you have something else you'd prefer to talk about; this can double as an open thread.

Greetings to the Cenobitic Order Of Saint Bruce

No, I'm kidding; Bruce isn't a Saint. He's more of an Ohio State fan.

Since I see that a couple of people have wandered over from The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser, and in particular from this conversation, I thought I'd sort of wave and say hello.

I feel compelled to point out that this isn't really an atheist blog, as such. It's more of a whatever-comes-into-my-head blog. So, if you're looking for atheism-related posts, you should follow the atheism tag. Otherwise, my topics are all over the place.

If you're a Christian interested in talking about your beliefs, my beliefs, or the intersection of the two, I highly recommend that you take a stroll though the Friendly Evangelism posts -- but, hey, if you want to jump right into the comments here and start talking, go for it.

Whatever the case, welcome to the Blog o' Doom. I'm glad to have you here.

Filler

I need filler. I have no filler. Anybody have filler? What have you been reading, or watching, or listening to?

So, how's your apocalypse?

I have a writing project[1] that I tend to come back to around this time of year. It has a pretty good opening scene, but I've never made it much past that; I don't know how to tie the rest of it together. But since I don't have anything else this morning, and since that's hovering around the back of my mind, I'm just going to toss it out here as a question: What are you doing as the world ends? Answer as much or as little as you'd like. Fill in whatever details you need - what kind of apocalypse? Who are you? What's happening? Make it as autobiographical or as completely fictional as you'd like.

[1] That's a technical term for "a novel I will never finish".

Writing Prompt: The New Pet

Here's another writing prompt for anyone who wants to play with it. I'm still out of town (this post was written days ago) so I won't be able to respond until I get back, but have fun anyway.

The Prompt: They found it under the hood of the car: something small and furry that shrieked when the motor started.
The Limit: 300 Words

As with the last one, feel free to post your writing here, or put it on your own site and link back to it.

Writing Prompt: Lost in the Underground

I really enjoyed writing up The Creepy Doll Story in response to Lilith Saintcrow's writing prompt the other day. So, since I really don't have any material for today, (or all of next week, for that matter) I thought I'd throw out a writing prompt of my own and see if anybody wanted to run with with it:

The Prompt: The tunnels stretched on for miles, winding and twisting, diverging and reconnecting.
The limit: 400 Words

Post your story in the comments, or post it on your own site and drop a link in the comments. Go!

Note: I'm on vacation -- I know, I find it a little hard to believe myself -- so I may not be able to respond until after next week. I'm trying to set some entries to auto-post while I'm out of town.

You cannot leave the keep...

I'm still having trouble with the next scene. I know where this is going; I know more or less what has to happen to get us from where we are now to that point. And what needs to happen is, basically, that Roberr gets blocked from leaving Langoish Keep. He says, "I'm going to go get us a weapon that would let us win," and everyone else says, "You can't just go charging off to do that, and it's far more likely to turn out badly than you even begin to think it is."

Problem is, the first three times I've taken a run at writing that, it comes out... flat. Bloodless. Boring. The summary version didn't seem to do it justice as something that Roberr would perceive as a major stumbling block. The arguing-in-council version was worse; I don't really think of dialogue as my strong suit, and this was like listening to your local city council meeting: if you weren't involved in the issue yourself, it would be unbelievably boring. The version where Roberr tried to recruit Brother Wend to help persuade the others is probably the best, but it's still basically the two of them arguing; it offered some reasonably interesting exposition, but ultimately it just bogged down.

So instead, I think I'm going to read back through what I have so far, and see what - if anything - flows naturally into the next place.

But hey - if anybody wants to suggest an approach, I'm open to alternatives... up to and including the possibility of having Roberr and Miledha go ahead and try to retrieve the Great Gauntlet; there's plenty of potential for conflict that way, too, including an all-too-probable I-Told-You-So moment with the rest of the advisers.

Hm. You know, I might just try that.

Anyway, suggestions: if you have 'em, sing out.

What two words describe you?

I took one of those horrible Facebook quizzes that scrape your profile for every available bit of your personal information so that the creators of the quiz can sell it to marketers.[1] This is what it says about me. What will you discover if you take the quiz?[2]

I got Exhausted Parent. What two words describe you?

You haven't been completely rested for three and a half weeks, maybe longer. You're stressed out at work, drained by trying to keep up with your children at home, and overwhelmed by the rising tide of household chores and projects. You're actively hoping for some sort of horrible disaster to strike, because at least then you'd be able to stop and rest. An axe-wielding homicidal rampage isn't completely out of the question, though most of the time it sounds like too much work...

---

[1] No. No, I did not.

[2] Feel free to fill in your own answers in the comments. The original (on a friend's FB feed) was horribly, sickeningly sweet, and talked at length about the person's saintly virtues, but I know you can all do better than that...

Slight Delay...

So, yeah, I didn't actually come up with anything to post today. I'm hoping to throw something up at lunch - I have a couple of ideas primed, I just haven't been able to sit down and pull them together. If that doesn't work, well... I'll have something for tomorrow.


Meanwhile, a question: What's the weirdest dream you've had lately? What's the weirdest dream you ever had?