Real Work Conversations: IT

Co-worker: "So I've got this coupon for Alamo Drafthouse, and I was looking for something to go see. I was thinking about IT, but... then I was thinking, 'Do I really want to be eating while I'm watching IT?'"

Me: "You'll have to order root beer floats."

Co-worker: {Stops}
Co-worker: {Looks at me}

Movie Review: Exile (2015)

So, I just finished watching Exile on Amazon Prime (because it looked interesting, and I'm still feeling kind of broke after this summer). Quick take? I liked it. I liked it a lot.

The reviews I read described it as a movie that makes up for its flaws by doing some interesting and unusual things very well. And I'd basically agree with that.

First up: genre. The film falls under the general category of "Lovecraftian Horror", with both some body horror and some touches of cosmic horror as well. This is a hard genre to do well, because (among other things) it's really hard to have a satisfying resolution when humanity is at best the pawns of vast forces far beyond our control, an at worst utterly insignificant to those forces. Exile handles this by keeping the scope somewhat smaller; we're not in Great Old Ones territory here, but something more on par with The Colour Out Of Space.

In some ways, it's a coming-of-age story, about the teenagers in the isolated desert town of Sunderland -- and by "isolated", I mean entirely surrounded by an electrified fence topped with barbed wire, with only one man authorized to leave town so that he can buy supplies in the outside world. The town is entirely dominated by The Angel, which "fell to Earth" some ten years previously. The adults of the town have all been "evolved" by the angel, a process which appears to grant them access to its eldritch wisdom but also seems to leave them vaguely lobotomized, at least some of the time. (The driver who leaves the town is the lone exception; he communicates with the Angel, but has not been evolved by it.) The children are taught to worship the Angel, and when they come of age they are given a choice: they too can evolve, or they can Fall and go to live in the wasteland outside the town (but still inside the fence).

Our protagonist, David, finds neither choice entirely satisfactory, and that's where the real conflict of the movie begins.

It is, in a lot of ways, a B movie. The acting isn't spectacular (though it isn't horrible, either) and the CGI is pretty low-quality (though this is mitigated by the fact that the movie uses it sparingly). It drags in a couple of places, as the kids struggle with concepts that the audience will already be quite familiar with. Overall, though, it works: it provides a strange vision of their existence, isolated and trapped in a town given over to the service of something entirely other, which can appear at any time to dispense justice according to its own laws. It's both disturbing and memorable, which is really about all I ask from horror movies anymore.

And if you're on Amazon Prime, you can watch it for free. So if that sounds like it might be up your alley, give it a shot.

Dawn of the Ted

Right, I have nothing for this morning (spent the weekend not feeling too well), so I'm going back to an old pre-Halloween favorite: Dawn of the Ted. Enjoy!

Final Horror Short Film Of The Week

Right, so, since we've gone this long, I'm going to put in one last horror film to round out the week. This one's called "The Cut", and it's arguably the scariest thing I've found so far.

There Are Monsters

I liked this one...

The Closet

Another short horror film on our way to Halloween. I promise, I'll try to get some of my own content up at some point; I just need more sleep and fewer sinus headaches.

Selfie From Hell...

And now, something else to help you get ready for Halloween. Short but scary.

Hi

Well, it's October. Are you ready for Halloween? 'Cause I have some things to help you get in the mood. This one's called "Hi".

Real Work Conversations: Scanners

My boss: "...Then we'll need to upgrade the software for the scanners, and..."

Me: "Wait. Did you mean scanners, or scanners? Or scanners?"

My boss: "What?"

Me: "Well, one lets us know that a patron has a valid ticket, one converts paper documents into electronic format, and one... makes your head explode."

My boss: "Oh, right. That would be the first one."

Short Horror Film: Thresher

Sorry, nothing written for this morning. But when you get home from work, you should watch this:

Mysterious Exploration

Just in time for Halloween: Jack

I know I've put this up before, but we're approaching Halloween and it's one of my favorite (extremely short) horror films.

Just in time for Easter...

I'm still behind on writing (everything, not just for the Blog o' Doom, here), so today I'm just going to provide links for a collection of Easter-related items that have appeared here in the past.

First up: A Quick History of Easter. Learn about the origins and ancient practices associated with the holiday.

Next: Alethos Aneste. It's... um... it's the Easter story, sort of, as it might have been if Jesus had said, "Let me show Your strength against my enemies," instead of, "Forgive them, they know not what they do." A very different sort of resurrection...

And finally: Bunnies, it must be bunnies. Two members of the Watch show up to investigate why killer bunnies are hatching from Easter eggs.

So there you go. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, at the Overlook....

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I admit, seeing sheet after sheet of the same sentence is a lot less impressive in the age of cutting and pasting...

Halloween Short Video: Jack

Also, because I absolutely adore this one, a horror story in 60 seconds from Daywalt Fear Factory:

Horror is all about anticipation, and anticipation is all about buildup, so managing to be even passably scary in under a minute is something of a feat.

Halloween Short; Scary Mask

Seriously, go watch this thing. It won't take much of your time. It does exactly - exactly - what it sets out to do.

Go watch Scary Mask.

I always wanted to throw a party like that.

Zombie Short Films

This is just a little collection of zombie films - short ones, that you can watch in a couple of minutes.

Short Movie: Behind Closed Doors

Warning: deeply creepy and disturbing little film. Probably not safe for work. May be trigger-y for abuse-related themes.

Love the animation.

Filler: Cargo (Zombie Short Film)

Short film: Infected father tries to get his daughter to safety before he turns into a zombie...

Let's see... some warnings:
1. Gross stuff
2. There's a baby - nothing horrible happens to the baby, but there is a baby in a zombie apocalypse setting, here.
3. May leave you bawling.

Friday Filler: Meat (is Murder)

This is my new favorite short film. Be sure to watch it all the way through; the song in the credits is part of the genius.