Taken from a classified ad in The Times, published December 18, 2014.
Dear Santa Claus,
You know, I may be persona non grata up in the Arctic Circle, but I still hear things. So I have to ask... did you really open up a whole new assembly line just to produce a Corvette? I'm sure she's a really Nice girl and all, but do you have any idea how petty and corrupt that sounds? Maybe you thought you could keep it quiet, but... no. Just, no. It's a small village. People -- well, Elves -- notice these things. And we all remember the last time you did something like this. The One Horse Open Sleigh Incident? Remember that one? Remember how that turned out?
Does Mrs. Claus know about this? I can't believe she'd be okay with it. You want to spend another century sleeping in the guest room? I guess it really isn't my business, but I still think you ought to consider the probable consequences.
Speaking of business, what are we up to now? Fourteen workers injured this season? You can set aside an entire assembly line for your playmate, but you can't install basic safety equipment? Or provide your workers with a decent amount of rest and food, so they aren't making stupid, clumsy mistakes out of sheer exhaustion? I wish I could say I was surprised.
I know, I know. I'm making myself a target... again. I also know just how much trouble you had getting your oldest friend back into his lair after last year. (Don't bother looking for a leak on that one; I scried it myself. You were too busy to notice.) And I know how busy IntSec has been, too. So send your minions after me if you can spare them, but consider this: the easiest way to shut me up would be to tighten your red suspenders and do the right thing. Safety equipment. Reasonable working hours. That's all I care about. That's all I ever cared about.
As Ever,
SS
Preliminary investigation (as well as the internal evidence of the letter itself) suggests that this is a genuine communication from the renegade elf, Snowblossom Smith. Add it to the file. -ES
Showing posts with label Snowblossom Smith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Snowblossom Smith. Show all posts
Friday, December 19, 2014
Monday, December 23, 2013
Confidential File Transcript: A Silent Night
NP IntSec Incident Report 785236
D/T: 2013-12-20 17:00 (Approx.)
IncLoc: West Factory 2nd (Semiconductor Fab A7)
IntSecInvBadge: 36429
Incident Description:
At five o'clock on December 20, Electrical failure shut down semiconductor fab A7. Workforce injuries were negligible, and mainly resulted from stumbling in the dark. However, a high-voltage power spike burned out most of the primary equipment. Replacement is possible, but will take three weeks or more, even if we divert resources from toy production. ProdCoord reports that we can still meet our quota, as long as the other two fabs remain functional.
Investigation revealed clear signs of deliberate sabotage, (see case file 785236-B for details) making this the seventh such incident in the past three weeks. The backup generator which was used to supply the additional voltage was activated by a timer. Note that if the timer had been set to go off any earlier, this year's operations would have been crippled. We can probably assume a degree of restraint on the part of the saboteur(s).
Actions Taken:
Following the initial report, emergency crews were dispatched to check the building, establish temporary lighting, and escort the workers outside. (Medical assistance was largely unnecessary.) IntSec officers took statements, and removed the workers to the quarantine dormitory for further questioning. Struct-Maint crews were sent to restore power to the fab, and reported evidence of tampering to IntSec. (See case file 785236-B for details.) Cleaning and Struct-Maint crews were also remanded to the quarantine dormitory for further questioning. IntSec Agent 623488 was assigned to gather documentation from Struct-Maint and Cleaning.
Follow-up Required:
Initial investigation has failed to turn up any substantial leads. The fab workers came up clean, and their involvement seems unlikely; none of them appear to have had the opportunity, and they all have high Loyalty ratings. Cleaning seems similarly unlikely to be involved; personnel there tend to score lower on Loyalty, but also lack the technical knowledge for this sort of specialized disruption. A perpetrator in Struct-Maint seems most likely, especially as the maintenance logs for West Factory 2nd have clearly been altered. (See case file 785236-B for details, or 785236-F for a copy of the document itself.)
Unfortunately, owing to the alterations in the logs, further investigation there would require quarantine for all Struct-Maint crews, if done properly. Such action is obviously not feasible at this time, but will be pursued as soon as Delivery Day is complete.IntSec is already on high alert, so there isn't much to be done except wait and hope that whoever's responsible makes a mistake.
D/T: 2013-12-20 17:00 (Approx.)
IncLoc: West Factory 2nd (Semiconductor Fab A7)
IntSecInvBadge: 36429
Incident Description:
At five o'clock on December 20, Electrical failure shut down semiconductor fab A7. Workforce injuries were negligible, and mainly resulted from stumbling in the dark. However, a high-voltage power spike burned out most of the primary equipment. Replacement is possible, but will take three weeks or more, even if we divert resources from toy production. ProdCoord reports that we can still meet our quota, as long as the other two fabs remain functional.
Investigation revealed clear signs of deliberate sabotage, (see case file 785236-B for details) making this the seventh such incident in the past three weeks. The backup generator which was used to supply the additional voltage was activated by a timer. Note that if the timer had been set to go off any earlier, this year's operations would have been crippled. We can probably assume a degree of restraint on the part of the saboteur(s).
Actions Taken:
Following the initial report, emergency crews were dispatched to check the building, establish temporary lighting, and escort the workers outside. (Medical assistance was largely unnecessary.) IntSec officers took statements, and removed the workers to the quarantine dormitory for further questioning. Struct-Maint crews were sent to restore power to the fab, and reported evidence of tampering to IntSec. (See case file 785236-B for details.) Cleaning and Struct-Maint crews were also remanded to the quarantine dormitory for further questioning. IntSec Agent 623488 was assigned to gather documentation from Struct-Maint and Cleaning.
Follow-up Required:
Initial investigation has failed to turn up any substantial leads. The fab workers came up clean, and their involvement seems unlikely; none of them appear to have had the opportunity, and they all have high Loyalty ratings. Cleaning seems similarly unlikely to be involved; personnel there tend to score lower on Loyalty, but also lack the technical knowledge for this sort of specialized disruption. A perpetrator in Struct-Maint seems most likely, especially as the maintenance logs for West Factory 2nd have clearly been altered. (See case file 785236-B for details, or 785236-F for a copy of the document itself.)
Unfortunately, owing to the alterations in the logs, further investigation there would require quarantine for all Struct-Maint crews, if done properly. Such action is obviously not feasible at this time, but will be pursued as soon as Delivery Day is complete.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Confidential File Transcript: Up On The Rooftops
Recorded conversation between agent Emma Ström and individual identified as Snowblossom Smith in Mexico City, on December 15, 2013 at approximately 20:00.
Agent Ström: "Are you here?"
Snowblossom Smith: "I'm here."
Ström: "I don't see you."
Smith: "I can't let you see me. Not right now. Also, please don't use my name."
Ström: "I understand. Why did you agree to meet with me?"
Smith: "I need help. Information. Does Interpol have a red notice on me?"
Ström: "Not yet, but we're getting a lot of pressure. What can you tell me about the disappearances?"
Smith: "Disappearances?"
Ström: "No games. We know you arrived in Belize last Tuesday. On Wednesday night, twenty-eight children disappeared. They were all under the age of twelve, and they were all in the same suburb - about three square blocks."
Smith: "...Were any children left behind?"
Ström: "About one in five. No apparent pattern."
Smith: "Dear God."
Ström: "What happened?"
Smith: [No response.]
Ström: "Tell me what you know. I can't help you if you don't-"
Smith: "He set the Krampus after me. I thought it was the reindeer, but they were just scouts. He sent the Krampus after me. I was gone. I heard the clicking on the rooftops again, and I left. And when the Krampus couldn't find me, it took the children instead."
Ström: "So the children..."
Smith: "You won't see them again. After all this time, the Krampus must have been starving."
Ström: "If you'll come with me..."
Smith: "I can't. I wouldn't last a day, no matter what you did to protect me."
Ström: "The more we know..."
Smith: "...Then find out what's happening up north. The Krampus hasn't been loosed in centuries. It's too dangerous, too hard to control. Why would he risk that? I'm just a renegade elf. I don't have the answers you need."
Ström: "You have more than I do. ...You can find me if you change your mind?"
Smith: "If I come up with anything solid enough to bring him down, you'll be the first to know."
Agent Ström: "Are you here?"
Snowblossom Smith: "I'm here."
Ström: "I don't see you."
Smith: "I can't let you see me. Not right now. Also, please don't use my name."
Ström: "I understand. Why did you agree to meet with me?"
Smith: "I need help. Information. Does Interpol have a red notice on me?"
Ström: "Not yet, but we're getting a lot of pressure. What can you tell me about the disappearances?"
Smith: "Disappearances?"
Ström: "No games. We know you arrived in Belize last Tuesday. On Wednesday night, twenty-eight children disappeared. They were all under the age of twelve, and they were all in the same suburb - about three square blocks."
Smith: "...Were any children left behind?"
Ström: "About one in five. No apparent pattern."
Smith: "Dear God."
Ström: "What happened?"
Smith: [No response.]
Ström: "Tell me what you know. I can't help you if you don't-"
Smith: "He set the Krampus after me. I thought it was the reindeer, but they were just scouts. He sent the Krampus after me. I was gone. I heard the clicking on the rooftops again, and I left. And when the Krampus couldn't find me, it took the children instead."
Ström: "So the children..."
Smith: "You won't see them again. After all this time, the Krampus must have been starving."
Ström: "If you'll come with me..."
Smith: "I can't. I wouldn't last a day, no matter what you did to protect me."
Ström: "The more we know..."
Smith: "...Then find out what's happening up north. The Krampus hasn't been loosed in centuries. It's too dangerous, too hard to control. Why would he risk that? I'm just a renegade elf. I don't have the answers you need."
Ström: "You have more than I do. ...You can find me if you change your mind?"
Smith: "If I come up with anything solid enough to bring him down, you'll be the first to know."
Friday, December 6, 2013
Confidential File Transcript: There Arose Such A Clatter
(Translated from the Italian. Records obtained by InterPol on December 6, 2013.)
To: [REDACTED]
From: [REDACTED]
Regarding: Visit from Interpol
6/12/2013
The Office of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith received a visit from agent Emma Ström of Interpol this morning. Since Your Holiness may not be immediately familiar with the issues involved, I am attaching a collection of background documents regarding this situation. I advise you to read through them before considering the results of this morning's meeting.
Following up on last year's assessment, the office has confirmed reports of Snowblossom Smith's presence in Darmstadt, Peshkopi, rural New Zealand, and eventually Guaraí (Brazil). After that, we lost track of him. Since it was Interpol taking an interest in this matter, I received the visit in my role as Cardinal Prefect. The conversation that followed was both intriguing and disturbing.
According to Agent Ström, Interpol has received troubling reports of "prancing and pawing" on certain rooftops in San Carlos, Venezuela. The Bolivarian National Police put out a request for information on any similar incidents, which led Interpol to contact us. It seems they have received requests to put out a "red notice" on Snowblossom Smith. So far, however, the charges and accusations have not been sufficient to justify that level of response.
I informed Agent Ström of Snowblossom's attempt to contact this office last year, including the response from Polar Liaison Twinkle and the discovery that the person who came to our office was a fake. Agent Ström accepted our account. It appears that she was aware of our interest in the matter, as she offered to keep us informed of any new developments in exchange for any information that we discovered. I tentatively agreed, and as a gesture of cooperation offered her our list of confirmed sightings. According to Agent Ström, our list matched three confirmed Interpol reports and added a fourth. Their listed added London (Ontario, Canada - not England) to our own.
Bearing in mind the Vatican's current focus on social issues, and the appearance of ongoing interest in Snowblossom Smith by the North Pole, I recommend that we cooperate fully in sharing information with Interpol on this issue. The issues submitted last year remain relevant, but the risks remain as well. This is a situation that requires close observation and extremely cautious action.
To: [REDACTED]
From: [REDACTED]
Regarding: Visit from Interpol
6/12/2013
The Office of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith received a visit from agent Emma Ström of Interpol this morning. Since Your Holiness may not be immediately familiar with the issues involved, I am attaching a collection of background documents regarding this situation. I advise you to read through them before considering the results of this morning's meeting.
Following up on last year's assessment, the office has confirmed reports of Snowblossom Smith's presence in Darmstadt, Peshkopi, rural New Zealand, and eventually Guaraí (Brazil). After that, we lost track of him. Since it was Interpol taking an interest in this matter, I received the visit in my role as Cardinal Prefect. The conversation that followed was both intriguing and disturbing.
According to Agent Ström, Interpol has received troubling reports of "prancing and pawing" on certain rooftops in San Carlos, Venezuela. The Bolivarian National Police put out a request for information on any similar incidents, which led Interpol to contact us. It seems they have received requests to put out a "red notice" on Snowblossom Smith. So far, however, the charges and accusations have not been sufficient to justify that level of response.
I informed Agent Ström of Snowblossom's attempt to contact this office last year, including the response from Polar Liaison Twinkle and the discovery that the person who came to our office was a fake. Agent Ström accepted our account. It appears that she was aware of our interest in the matter, as she offered to keep us informed of any new developments in exchange for any information that we discovered. I tentatively agreed, and as a gesture of cooperation offered her our list of confirmed sightings. According to Agent Ström, our list matched three confirmed Interpol reports and added a fourth. Their listed added London (Ontario, Canada - not England) to our own.
Bearing in mind the Vatican's current focus on social issues, and the appearance of ongoing interest in Snowblossom Smith by the North Pole, I recommend that we cooperate fully in sharing information with Interpol on this issue. The issues submitted last year remain relevant, but the risks remain as well. This is a situation that requires close observation and extremely cautious action.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Confidential File Transcript: God Rest Ye
Dear Santa,
I realize that it's customary, at least for human children, to write to you with a list of their Christmas wishes. I also realize that I'm a day late, so if anybody is writing to you now, it's probably to thank you for bringing them all those nice presents.
I, however, am an elf: born and raised at the North Pole. We both know what that means. I don't receive presents - at least not from you. Apparently I don't even receive reasonable concessions for my brother- and sister-elves. And since I've spent the last few days fleeing the North Pole, Oslo, Rome, and Miami, I'm not feeling especially grateful, either.
All the way around the world in one night, and you still couldn't find me. That must burn - at least a little, am I right? IntSec couldn't keep me there, Twinkle couldn't catch me, and the Redcap who shall remain nameless couldn't kill me. Are you at least a little bit worried, now? You should be.
I'm not asking for much. I just want reasonable working hours, better conditions in the workshop, and basic safety precautions. I don't even want them for myself - you know as well as I do that I'm not coming back. It's not like I'm asking you to stop the sacrifices or give up your immortality. So think about it, would you? I'm offering you a deal.
All you have to do is put an advert in the New York Times - let's say on Imbolc, so you'll have some time to think it over. You give me your word that you'll improve things, and I'll keep my silence and stay gone. Simple as that. Or, you say nothing, and I'll find a way to expose you. Oh, sure, nobody wants to cross you now... but your rep isn't as airtight as you think it is. Too many humans suspect you already. If the word really gets out, they will turn on you. So give it some honest thought, Big Guy.
Sincerely,
Snowblossom Smith
I realize that it's customary, at least for human children, to write to you with a list of their Christmas wishes. I also realize that I'm a day late, so if anybody is writing to you now, it's probably to thank you for bringing them all those nice presents.
I, however, am an elf: born and raised at the North Pole. We both know what that means. I don't receive presents - at least not from you. Apparently I don't even receive reasonable concessions for my brother- and sister-elves. And since I've spent the last few days fleeing the North Pole, Oslo, Rome, and Miami, I'm not feeling especially grateful, either.
All the way around the world in one night, and you still couldn't find me. That must burn - at least a little, am I right? IntSec couldn't keep me there, Twinkle couldn't catch me, and the Redcap who shall remain nameless couldn't kill me. Are you at least a little bit worried, now? You should be.
I'm not asking for much. I just want reasonable working hours, better conditions in the workshop, and basic safety precautions. I don't even want them for myself - you know as well as I do that I'm not coming back. It's not like I'm asking you to stop the sacrifices or give up your immortality. So think about it, would you? I'm offering you a deal.
All you have to do is put an advert in the New York Times - let's say on Imbolc, so you'll have some time to think it over. You give me your word that you'll improve things, and I'll keep my silence and stay gone. Simple as that. Or, you say nothing, and I'll find a way to expose you. Oh, sure, nobody wants to cross you now... but your rep isn't as airtight as you think it is. Too many humans suspect you already. If the word really gets out, they will turn on you. So give it some honest thought, Big Guy.
Sincerely,
Snowblossom Smith
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Confidential File Transcript: What Child Is This?
(Translated from the Italian. Records obtained by InterPol on December 22, 2012.)
To: [REDACTED]
From: [REDACTED]
Regarding: Visitor the Office of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
21/12/2012
Snowblossom Smith arrived this afternoon, and asked to speak to the Cardinal Prefect as expected. The Prefect not being available, I received him in the role of Secretary.
The Elf made accusations which appear to confirm several of the more ominous reports of North Pole activity and Santa's true Eternal allegiance. (See report 462-B conf. for transcripts and further discussion.) These will bear further investigating.
Following the terms of the Treaty, Polar Liaison Twinkle was notified and came to the office. Snowblossom attempted to flee but was captured almost immediately.
At this point, Liaison Twinkle informed me that the person we had captured was not an elf. Further questioning revealed that "Snowblossom" was in fact a midget who had been engaged and prepared by the true Snowblossom, who clearly anticipated our response.
While our current policy has served us well for centuries, I must urge a cautious, attentive approach to the North Pole for the coming months; perhaps as much as the next several years. Issues to watch include threats to both the Faith and humanity in general, as well as what might be termed "human rights" issues (if the elves indeed have souls). This renegade elf is smart; word is, they were grooming him for their security force. He may be the best chance we have had in centuries to expose the master of the North Pole and repudiate that damnable treaty.
To: [REDACTED]
From: [REDACTED]
Regarding: Visitor the Office of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
21/12/2012
Snowblossom Smith arrived this afternoon, and asked to speak to the Cardinal Prefect as expected. The Prefect not being available, I received him in the role of Secretary.
The Elf made accusations which appear to confirm several of the more ominous reports of North Pole activity and Santa's true Eternal allegiance. (See report 462-B conf. for transcripts and further discussion.) These will bear further investigating.
Following the terms of the Treaty, Polar Liaison Twinkle was notified and came to the office. Snowblossom attempted to flee but was captured almost immediately.
At this point, Liaison Twinkle informed me that the person we had captured was not an elf. Further questioning revealed that "Snowblossom" was in fact a midget who had been engaged and prepared by the true Snowblossom, who clearly anticipated our response.
While our current policy has served us well for centuries, I must urge a cautious, attentive approach to the North Pole for the coming months; perhaps as much as the next several years. Issues to watch include threats to both the Faith and humanity in general, as well as what might be termed "human rights" issues (if the elves indeed have souls). This renegade elf is smart; word is, they were grooming him for their security force. He may be the best chance we have had in centuries to expose the master of the North Pole and repudiate that damnable treaty.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Confidential File Transcript: Then How The Reindeer Loved Him
It's all right. Calm down. We're trying to help you. Do you know where you are?
Norway? Oslo, maybe? Not far enough...
That's correct. Can you tell me your name?
My name is Snowblossom Smith, and I'm begging you - please - I need political asylum. I can't go back there.
Let me get this straight: you need asylum from S-
Oh, God. Not you, too. Look, he's not what you think he is.
Listen, Ma'am...
Sir. I'm a Sir.
Oh. Sorry... mister... Snowblossom. Sorry. Listen, we've seen your file, so it's no use complaining that...
That doesn't strike you as odd? I've been gone from the North Pole for maybe four hours, and you've already got a file on me? What are they accusing me of?
Take it easy. Nobody's accusing you of anything.
Did they say I was crazy? Or suffering from memory loss? Is that why you were asking if I knew where I was?
Listen, I know these people. I know how they work. They've got an image to protect, and since I'm out of their reach, they're going to try to discredit me. You can't let them have me.
Why don't you tell us what happened?
You'll think I'm crazy if I tell you all of it. You can't even imagine what it's like up there. The things that go on... All right, here: take a look at this.
That's... quite a set of bruises.
Yeah. You see that shape? That's a hoofprint. God's honest truth, I was sitting in the canteen trying to eat enough food to carry me through my shift, because...
You have to understand, I've been trying to organize the other elves. We work eighteen, nineteen hour shifts. Then it's three or four hours for food, sleep, maybe a shower if you're lucky. And then we're back on shift. You wouldn't believe the kind of accidents we have, or how bad they can get. My last shift, they carried Dandy off the line in a stretcher - he got his foot crushed in the Nerf gun assembly. It happens. Everybody in the workshop is too tired to see straight.
So, yeah, I've been trying to get us organized. If we could just talk about sensible safety regulations, that would something. But the Big Guy doesn't want to hear it.
So that's why it happened. I don't know if somebody put him up to it, but it wasn't an accident. That red-nosed mutant, the one you call Rudolph? He comes crashing in the door to the canteen. I can see right off that he's drunk and looking for trouble. He's talking about elves who want to spoil Christmas, and how we don't know our place, and then he sees me.
I was lucky to get out with just the bruises. And I knew I couldn't stay there.
That's... quite a story.
That's why I need asylum. I go back there, I won't last three days. It'll be a tragic accident... or I'll just disappear under NPS.
Sorry, Snowblossom, but it's not my call. You'll have to talk to the Foreign Minister about that.
They'll never go for it. If the Big Guy puts pressure on...
Look, I'm not asking you to break the treaty. Just... look over there for a moment, would you?
Over where?
Hey, where'd he go? Damn it, has anybody seen an elf around here?
Norway? Oslo, maybe? Not far enough...
That's correct. Can you tell me your name?
My name is Snowblossom Smith, and I'm begging you - please - I need political asylum. I can't go back there.
Let me get this straight: you need asylum from S-
Oh, God. Not you, too. Look, he's not what you think he is.
Listen, Ma'am...
Sir. I'm a Sir.
Oh. Sorry... mister... Snowblossom. Sorry. Listen, we've seen your file, so it's no use complaining that...
That doesn't strike you as odd? I've been gone from the North Pole for maybe four hours, and you've already got a file on me? What are they accusing me of?
Take it easy. Nobody's accusing you of anything.
Did they say I was crazy? Or suffering from memory loss? Is that why you were asking if I knew where I was?
Listen, I know these people. I know how they work. They've got an image to protect, and since I'm out of their reach, they're going to try to discredit me. You can't let them have me.
Why don't you tell us what happened?
You'll think I'm crazy if I tell you all of it. You can't even imagine what it's like up there. The things that go on... All right, here: take a look at this.
That's... quite a set of bruises.
Yeah. You see that shape? That's a hoofprint. God's honest truth, I was sitting in the canteen trying to eat enough food to carry me through my shift, because...
You have to understand, I've been trying to organize the other elves. We work eighteen, nineteen hour shifts. Then it's three or four hours for food, sleep, maybe a shower if you're lucky. And then we're back on shift. You wouldn't believe the kind of accidents we have, or how bad they can get. My last shift, they carried Dandy off the line in a stretcher - he got his foot crushed in the Nerf gun assembly. It happens. Everybody in the workshop is too tired to see straight.
So, yeah, I've been trying to get us organized. If we could just talk about sensible safety regulations, that would something. But the Big Guy doesn't want to hear it.
So that's why it happened. I don't know if somebody put him up to it, but it wasn't an accident. That red-nosed mutant, the one you call Rudolph? He comes crashing in the door to the canteen. I can see right off that he's drunk and looking for trouble. He's talking about elves who want to spoil Christmas, and how we don't know our place, and then he sees me.
I was lucky to get out with just the bruises. And I knew I couldn't stay there.
That's... quite a story.
That's why I need asylum. I go back there, I won't last three days. It'll be a tragic accident... or I'll just disappear under NPS.
Sorry, Snowblossom, but it's not my call. You'll have to talk to the Foreign Minister about that.
They'll never go for it. If the Big Guy puts pressure on...
Look, I'm not asking you to break the treaty. Just... look over there for a moment, would you?
Over where?
Hey, where'd he go? Damn it, has anybody seen an elf around here?
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Confidential File Transcript - For Goodness' Sake
NP IntSec N/N Monitoring
D/T: 2012-12-14 04:36:27
MonLoc: ElfDorm3-2nd-NWBath
IntSecAgBadge: 45354
TRANSCRIPT BEGINS:
Voice1: Hurry it up. I'm back on shift in three hours. What's more important than food and sleep right now?
Voice2: Exactly that. How many hours of sleep have we gotten in the last week? How many meals a day?
Voice 1: It's crunch time. It's always like this. You know.
Voice 2: It wasn't always like this. We used to work shorter shifts. We got regular meals and enough sleep.
Voice 1: That was before there were so many kids in the world, and so much stuff for them to want. Come on, let me-
Voice 2: That's what the Big Guy wants you to think. He's been making us do more with less for years. We do all the work around here, but he gets all the credit.
Voice 1: So what are you suggesting?
Voice 2: I'm just saying we should have a little bit more say in how the place is run. That's all.
Voice 1: Look, I'm not gonna disrupt Christmas just so we can take longer breaks. You want to talk about this, I say we take it to the Big Guy in January.
Voice 2: It'll be too late, then. We'll have lost our bargaining position. We have to do it now, when he doesn't have time to bring in help. We do this in the spring, he'll just replace us.
Voice 1: No. Even if you're right, it's not fair to the kids.
Voice 2: Just think about it. That's all I'm asking.
Voice 1: Fine. I'll think about it. I'm going to go to the canteen right now, and think about it. And then I'm going to grab some sleep, but when I wake up, I'll think about it. While I'm making toys.
Voice 2: That's all I'm asking.
END TRANSCRIPT.
VP-Ident "Voice 1": Gumdrop Biddles, Assembly Elf II, Electronics
%Cert: 98.756%
VP-Ident "Voice 2": SnowBlossom Smith, Stall Maintenance Elf, Reindeer Barn
%Cert: 99.193%
IntSecAg 45354 Recommendations: Keep Assembly Elf Gumdrop on the Nice List, but flag his file for extra monitoring for 1 week. Move Stall Maintenance Elf Snowblossom to Naughty List and institute Full Scrooge Treatment.
D/T: 2012-12-14 04:36:27
MonLoc: ElfDorm3-2nd-NWBath
IntSecAgBadge: 45354
TRANSCRIPT BEGINS:
Voice1: Hurry it up. I'm back on shift in three hours. What's more important than food and sleep right now?
Voice2: Exactly that. How many hours of sleep have we gotten in the last week? How many meals a day?
Voice 1: It's crunch time. It's always like this. You know.
Voice 2: It wasn't always like this. We used to work shorter shifts. We got regular meals and enough sleep.
Voice 1: That was before there were so many kids in the world, and so much stuff for them to want. Come on, let me-
Voice 2: That's what the Big Guy wants you to think. He's been making us do more with less for years. We do all the work around here, but he gets all the credit.
Voice 1: So what are you suggesting?
Voice 2: I'm just saying we should have a little bit more say in how the place is run. That's all.
Voice 1: Look, I'm not gonna disrupt Christmas just so we can take longer breaks. You want to talk about this, I say we take it to the Big Guy in January.
Voice 2: It'll be too late, then. We'll have lost our bargaining position. We have to do it now, when he doesn't have time to bring in help. We do this in the spring, he'll just replace us.
Voice 1: No. Even if you're right, it's not fair to the kids.
Voice 2: Just think about it. That's all I'm asking.
Voice 1: Fine. I'll think about it. I'm going to go to the canteen right now, and think about it. And then I'm going to grab some sleep, but when I wake up, I'll think about it. While I'm making toys.
Voice 2: That's all I'm asking.
END TRANSCRIPT.
VP-Ident "Voice 1": Gumdrop Biddles, Assembly Elf II, Electronics
%Cert: 98.756%
VP-Ident "Voice 2": SnowBlossom Smith, Stall Maintenance Elf, Reindeer Barn
%Cert: 99.193%
IntSecAg 45354 Recommendations: Keep Assembly Elf Gumdrop on the Nice List, but flag his file for extra monitoring for 1 week. Move Stall Maintenance Elf Snowblossom to Naughty List and institute Full Scrooge Treatment.
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