Vinnie: Those Little Rats

Lithos was gone. The shitty little wizard of a goblin was gone. The damned little rat had fled. Well, he'd fix 'im. Run away from me? It was a good thing that Wish wasn't the only spell he'd prepared. I was gonna use it on Whisper, but fine: I can send a message to Lithos instead. Shitty little wizard... Now you get Vinnie's Malicious Messenger instead of your brother.

He'd enjoyed playing with the kid. Hell, he'd enjoyed playing with all of them. The expressions on their faces when the Senator keeled over? Priceless. They had no idea what had happened. Watching them flail around in the prison trying to figure out how to escape unnoticed using only what he'd offered? Fuckin' hilarious. He hadn't been this entertained in centuries. And then the goblin had gone and given him permission to murder everybody? Fuckin' awesome. 

Not that he needed permission, but that was part of the game. And he could use that. It was gonna be easy. Train him up. Give him a taste of power. Offer him more. And then promote him to a lich under my command. Durest's Bones, the kid was so easy, so fuckin' desperate for anybody to take an interest in him.

The others... Eh, they were good cover. A smokescreen. Nothin' more. And funny as shit to watch. He wouldn't miss the rogue -- a rogue couldn't hurt him, but rogues had other ways of making trouble. Which is why I was gonna send 'im a message. Specially since he took the halfling wit' him. But all right. Three followers. Now just two. And they were supposed to meet with Garm, so it was a good thing he'd charmed the everlovin' fuck out of Garm.

Vinnie eyed his two remaining followers, the dwarven druid and the human bard. He could do this with only them, and they were still useful to have around. If he had to fuck with the goblin mage at a distance instead of close up, he'd do it that way. Yeah, Whisper can get his messenger tomorrow.

Terror Povos: Trade Caravan

Lithos had just stretched back out on his bedroll when an older dwarf came over from where the trade caravan was lining up nearby. The passage was too narrow for them to full circle the wagons, but still wide enough that they could park them in a row and leave room for another caravan to pass by. This was a deep dwarf, comfortable in the heat, and wearing a sword and leather armor; his hair and beard were black and neatly braided. "Dark said I should come and talk to you," he said as he drew near.

"As you wish," Lithos said politely, and sat up.

"Belrab's Balls," exclaimed the older dwarf, looking Lithos over. "It's true. You look like a goblin, but you talk like a dwarf born. You were cursed into this shape?"

"Something," Lithos said. "I'm not entirely sure how it happened."

"So one of the temples could likely cure you." 

Lithos shrugged. "If I could afford it." 

"Well, I can't pay you," the dwarf said, "but you'd be more than welcome to travel with us. Be good to have a wizard along. Safety in numbers, and all that."

"I might bring my own trouble with me." Lithos admitted. He didn't think he'd be endangering these people by camping beside them. Traveling with them might be another matter.

"Dark mentioned that." The older dwarf motioned towards the fallen ghoul, which lay stinking some distance off. "She also said you could handle it."

Lithos didn't like the idea. Yes, he'd be safer traveling with the caravan, but that was selfish if his presence was going to put them in greater danger -- and so much of that depended on Vinnie. It had been the better part of a week before the ghoul had arrived, though; the demilich obviously wasn't in any hurry to murder him. And Lithos didn't see any way he could turn the offer down without coming off as even more suspicious than he probably seemed already.

"Then yes, I'd be glad to travel with you," Lithos told him. "Granite Forgefire." 

"Schist Splitvein," the dwarf replied. "Merchant, fighter, and caravan guide. It's a pleasure."

Terror Povos: A bit of lighthearted assassination

Lithos was sleeping deeply, and dreaming of the Shattered Golem when something crossed the boundary of his Alarm spell and jerked him unwillingly awake. It was warm here in the deeper tunnels, and he was sleeping on top of his bedroll, so when he snapped upright he came all the way to his feet. 

There was ghoul creeping up on him. 

It hesitated for a bare second, facing him; then he saw it lower its body and prepare to charge. He reacted by reflex, the words and gestures automatic, and a fiery orange ray leapt from his extended hand to the center of its chest. He was lucky; the ray hit, and burned the thing badly enough that it collapsed before it could really lunge at him. 

For a moment he just stood there, shaking. Then he tossed a tiny ball of acid at it, and then another. It didn't move. With a sigh, he walked over to it, and started searching the body the way Whisper had taught him to. 

Even so, he almost missed it. It was pinned to the back of the cloth vest that was the ghoul's only clothing, and Lithos had been checking pockets and likely places for jewelry: ears, neck, fingers. It was a sheet of parchment, folded over and neatly pinned to the cloth. 

He unfolded it.

You gonna run out on me? it said. You gonna back outta our bargain after I went and made things right for you? You think you can just leave? Here. Have a ghoul. Consider it a test. You're still alive, you're readin this, then you passed. Keep your eyes open, though. This one? Won't be the last. You're still a shitty wizard, and you know it. I coulda made you great, kid. So let's see if you can fucking hang.

It wasn't signed, but then it didn't need to be. Vinnie. Lithos shook his head. The thrice-damned demilich was still going to have his fun. Well... fine. He would deal with that, or else he'd die and be condemned to serve as Vinnie's undead thrall. He could think of a couple of possible ways out, but he also knew that Vinnie had almost certainly anticipated them. 

"Ho there, friend," said a gruff voice, and Lithos turned to look. 

A dwarf was standing some thirty feet away, studying him curiously but keeping her distance.

"Yes?" Lithos answered cautiously, in the same dwarvish that the woman had used to address him. 

"Ah... is it safe to camp here?" She was one of the hill-dwarves, beardless, and doubtless too warm in her armor, for all that it was leather covered in metal spikes. "We're a small caravan, and ill-prepared to fend off a swarm of undead."

Lithos looked at the fallen ghoul and shook his head. "You'll be safe enough," he said. "This was a gift from an old friend, and directed at me."

"Some gift," she said. "I thought I was going to watch it murder you, but you took it down neatly. If it's not too rude to ask, what's a goblin doing this far into Silverkeep?"

The lie sprang fully-formed into his head. "I'm not a goblin," he said. "I'm a dwarf. I just woke up this way one morning. Wild magic, cursed ground, I'm not sure."

She blinked slowly. Then, "Miscast spell?" she asked. 

"...Possibly," he admitted. 

"You have a name, dwarf?" 

"Granite Forgefire." He hesitated, then said: "Don't ask. My parents had very particular ideas. I go by Grant."

The dwarf nodded. "All right, Grant. I'm Darkwater Underspring. Do you mind if we camp with you?" 

Lithos thought about that. He didn't think Vinnie would attack him again any time soon; the demilich was immortal and would want to draw out the suspense. So it was probably safe for them, and wouldn't make much difference to him. "Not at all," he said.

Terror Povos: A Letter Home

Dear Marduk & Tara, 

I would address you as my parents, but I fear that I have lost the right. I have made a very, very bad mistake -- but one which, owing to recent events, never actually happened. One of the others can explain the details, if they choose to. I cannot bring myself to explain it, and I am sorry for that; I do not feel that I can return until I have figured out how to undo an event that never happened. 

I want you both to know that I am safe, and on my way to try to build a new life, and that I remain grateful for all that you have given me. 

~Lithos

Terror Povos: The Flight of Lithos

Lithos walked stoically into the darkness. Amergin and Archibald were still with Vinnie, still going to meet with Gorm, but he just couldn't. Not after... everything. 

He hadn't ever wanted to be the villain. He didn't want to now. He didn't know how to think of himself as the kind of person who would tell a demilich to go and murder a century of prisoners and guards just so that he and his family could finally get out of that damned prison. That wasn't who he was. 

Or at least, that wasn't who he was supposed to be. 

They'd tried so hard, too. The disease, the sick guards... it was supposed to be a bloodless escape. But Vinnie, who was supposed to be their contact on the inside, had withheld all but the smallest and most useless sorts of magical help, and since the sleep gas only affected certain areas there was no way out without fighting -- and killing. Their carefully-engineered escape had turned into a prison riot, and then a battle between them and the most powerful of the guards, and then between them and the warden, who was a ridiculously strong fighter for someone who should have been a useless administrator. Then, when the warden finally fallen, they still had to find out a way to get out past the rioting prisoners and the guards who manned the ballistae at the gate.

That was when Lithos had snapped, when he'd suggested to Vinnie the Demilich that he go use the Gas lever. They'd been framed and sent to this ridiculous prison; Vinnie -- and Gorm -- had set them up so there was no way to escape without killing people and further tarnishing their names. If there was no way to avoid becoming villains, Lithos had reasoned, they might as well just get on with it. 

And he had. 

And in the aftermath of all that death? Vinnie had taunted them with the knowledge that he'd been the one to murder the senator and get them sentenced to prison. He'd called Lithos a shitty wizard, and even though Lithos knew that he was young and inexperienced and nowhere near the level of mastery he aspired to... it still hurt. Not because Vinnie was right -- he was, but it was a stupid complaint to level at somebody who hadn't had the time to put in the work to be any better -- but because Vinnie was the only one in his life who'd ever really tried to build him up as a wizard. That accursed skull was the only one who'd ever tried to make Lithos feel better about being a wizard instead of a fighter, a goblin instead of a dwarf.

And the whole thing had been bullshit. He'd just been stringing Lithos along, and Lithos -- being an idiot -- had eaten it up. 

Vengeful? Defeated? Remorseful? Lost? Ashamed and furious at the same time? Lithos didn't know. All he knew was that Whisper and James had left in the night, vanished, and that he couldn't stay either. Not after all that. Master Windborne would repudiate him, and rightly so, if he knew that his student still lived. His parents would be heartbroken. His brothers and sisters... he'd driven them off, and made everything so much worse for them. 

No, there was nothing left for him back there. A new place, a new name... He'd watched Whisper and James leave, but he'd made no attempt to join them. Whisper's judgement hurt, and hurt more -- he thought -- for being correct. He was a fallen thing, a broken thing, a traitor to everything his parents had taught them. He didn't deserve to live, but he was going to do it anyway. Unless Whisper comes after me, or Vinnie does. If Whisper tries to kill me, in all fairness I'll just have to let him. If Vinnie tries to kill me... I won't be able to stop him. 

He knew, though, that Vinnie wouldn't come after him. He wasn't that important. He never had been. 

So he kept walking, not bothering to cover his trail, pack heavy upon his back. 

Terra Povos: The end of the Hole

 So it’s been a while, but we’re still trying to escape from The Hole. That means finding the warden and basically getting the index so we can get our stuff back, and using the lever so the single actual exit will open. 

Lithos, at Whisper’s suggestion, casts Detect Magic and starts going through the storeroom. We go through looking for magic items, and come up with Oil of Slipperiness (+2 on Escape Artist checks) along with some leather harnesses and thirty yards of surgical tubing. Vinnie swoops over and looks at this robe: “I love these things! It’s a robe of bones.” It’s like a robe of useful items, but all the items are uncontrolled skeletons or zombies. Amergin keeps that. 

Small goblin skeleton

Medium human skeleton

Medium human zombie

Medium wolf zombie

We find Whisper’s stuff. Also, the communication pipes are all over the walls, so if people are paying attention they can hear us. Whisper starts swapping out for his original equipment. We continue the hunt. We add an Elixir of Truth, then Dust of Dryness. Then a Hand of the Mage, which Vinnie is also very excited about. Next: a Bead of Force, which we pass off to Whisper. An Elixir of Fire Breath, which Lithos promptly claims. 

Lithos keeps looking, and finds bracers of armor +1. At that point the warden’s door opens and he emerges to swing at James. Lithos hurriedly stuffs them in his bag. James is badly surprised and very nearly goes down. The warden is carrying a magical shield, wearing plate armoir, and swinging a war axe. Baldy sicks his rats on the warden, and they start swarming his armor. Whisper pulls the last of his equipment into place. 

Monster goes to help James. “Hey! I like the tiny one!” He charges the warden and hits him pretty solidly. James disengages and moves back: “Bad touch! Bad touch! No means no!” Cloak of Resistance +1, which Lithos also adds to his inventory. The warden power attacks Monster, and takes him down. The rats do some damage to the warden, however. 

Whisper considers the Bead of Force, and also the possibility of just locking the warden in with the swarm of rats. Whisper commands the horse to charge and attack the warden; it misses. James charges the warden and attacks, but misses. Lithos searches and finds a pearl of power for a second-level spell. The warden cuts at the horse: “Hey! How’d you get this horse!? Ain’t none of you strong enough too– HEY! How’d you smuggle a floating skull in here??? These fucking rats…”

The horse fails to hurt the warden, but it does keep him distracted and covered in rats. Whisper attacks but misses. Monster is just about three seconds from giving a death rattle. Lithos calls back one of his spells, steps to the doorway, and lets loose with a Scorching ray, burning the warden. The warden cuts down our horse. 

Whisper throws the Bead of Force behind the warden, where it explodes, damaging the warden and blocking off the stairs behind him. Monster has been partly revivified, and swings at the warden… and drops his sword. James swings, misses, and takes a step back; Amergin heals him. Lithos goes back to searching and finds a bag of holding type 2. The warden attacks and manages to finish the rat swarm. Then he attacks Monster, who’s still lying on the ground. Monster dies. 

Baldy lifts the pipes and tries to call for more rats. Whisper fires another crossbow shot and misses. James: “Can we talk about this?” 

Warden: “Drop your weapons and lock yourself in the vault!” 

James throws down the cursed mace and retreats to the vault.  Lithos: “How bad is it?”

James: “I’m fine! It’s fine! We’ve almost got him. And his ass looks very fine!” 

Lithos: “Vinnie… Monster Zombies.” He continues searching and finds a Necklace of Fireballs, Type I. 

Vinnie raises a zombie which moves to attack the warden. The warden promptly cuts the zombie down. It is at that moment that warden notices: “Wait! You didn’t actually put your mace down!” He starts towards James. 

Baldy fires off his crossbow again, while playing the pipes and waiting for more rats to arrive. Amergin swings his shilleleagh and misses. Lithos throws a fireball out there and catches the warden; the warden attacks him but misses. Baldy shoots but misses. Whisper moves to flank, then fires a crossbow bolt that goes right through the chainmail at the back of his helmet. The warden screams: “Beardless testicles!” -- a ferocious dwarven curse.

James moves up next to Lithos and swings at the warden, but misses. Lithos backs away and throws another fireball, burning both the warden and Amergin. The warden steps towards Lithos and pulls a potion out; Amergin smacks him, but he drinks the potion of Cure Moderate Wounds. James swings and misses. 

Lithos drops the fireball at his feet. The warden swings at Lithos, who fails to dodge the blade and drops like a rock. Warden M'Hole swings at James and misses. 

Vinnie: “You got this– NOOOOO!” 

He casts Clone on Monster’s corpse, and this Cronenberg body-horror version of Lithos stands back up. James: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?”  He fails, however, to get the warden to turn and look. He swings the cursed mace but misses. 

Amergin steps in and keeps Lithos from dying. Lithos withdraws from the rats but still gets bitten. Warden Hammer M’hole attacks James, missing and then hitting; James is swaying but he doesn’t go down. Whisper stabs the warden, and the warden goes down. 

Vinnie: “That dude was kind of bad ass!” He kind of slurps at the fallen warden, and another one of his teeth starts glowing. We turn back and search the Vault, and this time find the rest of our stuff. We kit back up, and get Vinnie to, well, zombify the warden. 

Upstairs in the warden’s quarters, we find... well... It’s very richly decorated; the index of the vault is totally doctored. The Canary Diamond is up here, but not in the inventory. There’s three flasks of fine whiskey worth about 100 GP each; into the bag with ‘em. We use the lever to open the outer door, so we can finally escape the prison. 

 

"Okay," asks Amergin. "Now how do we get out past the riot?"

 

And Lithos, who has had more than enough of all this, looks at Vinny and thinks, You could pull the lever.

 

Vinnie: The sleep lever? 

 

Lithos: The one marked gas that we thought was the sleep lever. 

 

Vinnie: Oh. Good thinking, kid.
He pats Lithos on the shoulder with a Mage Hand.   

Vinnie takes his new zombie out through the secret door and into the tunnels. About five minutes later the last sounds of rioting suddenly cut off in agonized screams. Vinnie and Warden Zombie return a few minutes later. “Okay, it’s all clear now.” 

Whisper, also in telepathic contact: What’d you do, Vinnie?

“Nothin’! I got no hands! They was just screamin’ because of the sleep gas. 'Cause they saw it coming again.” He nods to the warden zombie. “He's the one who did it. I think this is a bad guy. We should kill him.”

We check through the tunnels. There are two sets: guards, cells, etc. The second set connects the warden’s chambers to the guard chambers with the ballistae guarding the gates. Baldy does a bit of ventriloquism so it seems like the warden is speaking: “We need you to let us out when we come through.”

The guards are convinced, but Whisper stops to have a little chat with Lithos – having slit the throat of his clone. A chat to the tune of, "It's a good thing you're dead back there. You'd better think about who you're going to be when we get out of here, because you can't be you anymore." 

 

We exit The Hole and head up the passages. Somebody has left a rock arrangement that looks a bit like a golem's shattered hand, and we find a scroll from Gorm telling us where to meet him. The whole group stops, looking at that note. Looking at Whisper, and Amergin, and Vinnie, and Lithos. It's decision time. 

 

"Do we meet him?" Whisper chalks on his slate. "Or do we just fade out? Our reputation is fucked. Mom and Dad are going to be heartbroken." 

 

We go back and forth, with Lithos pointing out that we'd been set up to become the bad guys: Gorm sent us into the prison telling us that we could escape fairly soon, but with wholly inadequate equipment to manage that and a "man on the inside" who was a fucking demilich. Everyone else, rightly, points out that we -- by which they mean Lithos -- just genocided a hundred or so political prisoners. Lithos, who is pretty well fed up with taking shit from everybody he meets (with the exception of his siblings, except that even that seems to be giving way all of a sudden) points out that they'd already killed several guards and started a riot; there was no way they were going to come out of this with their reputations intact.

Vinnie takes this as his cue to admit -- brag -- that, well, he was the one who killed the senator. He's a connoseur of souls. That's why he devoured the warden's soul over our objections. That's why he couldn't resist the senator. They were powerful, forceful souls and -- unlike us -- up to his exacting standards for taste. What he wants now is the tarrasque’s soul and the Rogue Caminante Guy’s soul. We'll help him get them; that's why he came with us. In exchange, he’ll use Wish to make it so the events in The Hole never happened. 

We tentatively agree, and Vinnie settles in to rest and prepare his spell. We wait until he’s well and truly resting, and shove him in the bag of holding. Muffled voice: “Are you fucking serious? You still want me to work on that spell?” 

Amergin: “Yes.”

So now we have an incredibly powerful demilich in a bag of holding. Ironically, this will not hold him; but it does give us a chance to discuss things with some confidence that he won't be able to listen in. Whisper takes off, because he doesn’t see any way out of this that doesn’t end in disaster. He can’t take on Vinnie; none of us can. The best he can hope for is to be a loose end, and maybe discourage Vinnie from doing anything to our parents just by being out there. James goes off with Whisper, because Whisper is more terrifying than the rest of us.

Lithos, Amergin, and Archibald agree to the deal, because that's the only way to undo this massacre.

However, with the party thoroughly split and the Demilich largely in charge, this campaign is probably over. 

Wizard and Warden, prequel three

Darkvision was essential on the waters of the Opreto. There were shiplamps, of course, but they burned a lot of fuel and still missed things; a sensible captain used them sparingly. Cleave Sparkstone had been a ship's captain for eighty years now, and if the current venture wasn't entirely sensible he still intended to keep his crew focused on what would work. 

The wizard and his pet warrior had done a grand job of clearing the decks; his people had taken injuries and a few were out of commission, but nobody had actually died and nobody seemed likely to. If they could finish off these pirates, it would cement his name as a captain that nobody should want to cross.  

"Starboard side, close," said his First Mate Porphyry, leaning over the rail. "Tracking just ahead of us. Hold course."

"Hold course!" he called, and listened as the word was passed back. Lizard-folk didn't swim as quickly as some aquatic species, but they could hold their breath for a long time. Tracking the fleeing attackers across the water required caution, patience, and skill. "Anything from the prisoner?" he asked the Bosun, who was waiting beside him. 

"I'll check."

A moment later the Bosun was back, the warrior beside him. She was back to her regular size, sensibly armored in studded leather, and smiling as she said something to his bosun. "Captain," she said by way of greeting. "The prisoner says she knew this was a mistake and that sooner or later we dwarves would strike back. She'd like us to sink the boat her people are using and let them swim away; she says she can guide us to the cave they've been using to store their booty."

"You believe her?" 

"Yes and no," the warrior admitted. "I think she was the war-leader's wife, or mate, or whatever it is that lizard-folk have. I'd be willing to bet that she actually did argue that they should change tactics or quit while they were ahead. She still came along to protect him, though. And I'm sure she doesn't want any more of her people to die."

The wizard Valerius joined them on the foredeck. "How goes it?"

"We're tracking them," Cleave told him. "It's not easy, holding our speed down like this, but we're still with them." 

"Could you sink their ship?" asked the warrior Malwyn, looking at her wizard. "If you could, we might convince our prisoner to lead the rest of them out of Opreto and settle somewhere else."

"They're pirates," Cleave observed. "Silverkeep law says their lives are forfeit." 

"True," said the wizard Valerius. "How many of your crew are you willing to sacrifice to make that happen? Right now we haven't lost anyone. If we back them into a corner and annihilate them... I don't think we can manage that without losses. And they're lizardfolk on the water; they might surprise us."

Cleave ground his teeth, but the wizard was right. 

"We've already hurt them, badly," the warrior added. "The ones who stayed behind are likely--"

"SHIP!" called the First Mate, looking ahead. The rest of them saw it a moment later. 

Valerius sighed. "My turn, I suppose," he said, and strode for the railing. Malwyn followed automatically.

Wizard and Warden, prequel two

Their two familiars disappeared into the rigging, Valerius' bat flapping silently to the forecastle while Malwyn's owl circled aft. 

"No sign of boats," Valerius said, half-leaning on his staff against the sway of the ship. 

"Nothing alarming back here," Malwyn answered, just before she caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her eye and gave an undignified squeak. She cut down at the scaled hand caught the top of the rail and a reptilian forehead raised itself up. 

"Malwyn?"

"Lizardfolk," she called loudly. "No boats, they're just swimming over."

"That," muttered Valerius, "explains a lot." He muttered and gestured, and a handful of glowing red darts launched themselves at a pair of lizardfolk who were coming up over the port railing. 

Malwyn focused, letting the outside world fall away. There was only her blade, the battle, and the aura of icy cold that she channeled into the steel. A faint white patina of frost covered it, and when she struck the lizardfolk warrior staggered back, the edges of the wound in its chest black with frostbite. She swung again, but missed. 

The sailors were fighting back as well, harpoons and belaying pins and a couple of well-placed nets all deployed to deadly effect, and for a moment it looked like the attack would break. Then a lizard-man appeared on the bow, having apparently climbed the anchor, and smashed down the first sailor to come at him with a long trident that seemed carved from pure ivory. Two more came up behind it, even as Valerius surrounded himself with a quartet of illusory images to make himself harder to hit.  

A series of fiery beams lanced out from the dwarven wizard's hand, striking the lizardfolk warleader; the warleader staggered back, but shook off the damage, raised his spear, and threw it. 

By sheer luck it found its target, and Valerius staggered back. Blood stained the shoulder of his robe.

Malwyn broke off from the injured lizard-warrior and flung herself between them. She felt the brush of a bone-tipped spear against the back of her hair as she moved, but another sailor moved in with a belaying pin and she lost track of the enemy behind her. She couldn't get up the stairs and reach the warleader and his guards, but she could distract them... 

She cast the spell she had prepared earlier: Enlarge. 

The warleader, now half her size, lowered his head briefly, hissed, and then flung himself forward. His guards followed at his heels. 

She caught him with her enlarged greatsword before he could get close enough to attack, cut him and poured frost into the wound. The warleader twisted, ignoring the injury, and stabbed hard with his trident, driving it into her thigh. She'd need to remember to dodge; at this size, she was an easy target. And how the hell had he gotten it back? That had to be magic.

The two guards continued past her, angling for Valerius, but Valerius met one of them with Shocking Grasp. It wasn't enough damage to take the guard out, but it was definitely enough to set it back on its heels. 

Malwyn swung at the warleader, and this time both strikes connected; with the additional damage from the aura of frost around her blade, he went down. 

The guards were still focused on Valerius, and two of his illusory doubles disappeared to when they attacked. Valerius and his remaining doubles gestured at the undamaged one, and it collapsed, paralyzed. Malwyn brought her sword around, and cut down the injured guard; at the edge of the railing, one of the lizard-folk looked up to meet her eyes, then threw itself backwards into the water. 

A moment later the attack was over. The lizard-folk who could were escaping; Malwyn thought that was less than half of them, maybe as little as a fifth. 

The ship's captain, Cleave Sparkstone, came hurrying down from the raised stern. "What now?" he asked. 

Valerius was looking at his pierced and blood-stained robe in disgust. "Find their ship," he said quietly, looking over at Malwyn. "If we can't find it, we question to the prisoner here." He gestured down at the immobile lizard-woman at his feet. 

"Ropes," growled the captain. "Bind this one to the mast!"

Terra Povos: Wizard and Warden, prequel one

"Is this really a good idea?" asked Malwyn, glancing at the guisarme that she had carefully strapped to the wall at the back of her bunk. It was just too long to be used effectively aboard the ship, which left her relying on her greatsword... and frankly, there were more than a few places belowdecks where even that was too much.

"If you've come up with a better plan than this one, I'm sure we'd both love to know about it," Valerius answered wryly. "I'm not real keen on waiting for these pirates to find us, but they don't come ashore and nobody knows where their lair is. The good ship Honeypot was our best bet, even if getting Alderman Thunderbrew to set us up with it was like pulling teeth."

Malwyn sighed. It wasn't that she didn't trust the plan. Not with all the work she'd done putting rumors around about the sort of valuable cargo the Honeypot would be carrying, not with the information they'd gotten in the dockside taverns and from talking with the Customs officers. "No, you're right. We're right. I just wish they'd show up already. I hate being on a boat, and I hate waiting for us to sail into an ambush."

"No argument there," Valerius replied. "Still, shift change is coming soon. If they've been watching the boat, that's when they're most likely to move. And I think it'll be soon -- this change, or next."

Malwyn paused. "Divination?"

Valerius shrugged. "I might not be much more patient than you are, my warden."

Malwyn nodded. "Let's get up on deck."

Terra Povos: A Prison Break Most Broken

Whisper has pulled the Sleep lever in the Safe Room, and pretty much everyone is asleep except for Whisper and probably the warden and a couple of guards who had retreated into the guardroom. At this point, Whisper is the only person still conscious. He’s in the same room with some of our treasure as well as some utility items: pipes of the sewers, elixir of vision, 2 tanglefoot bags, 2 smokesticks and some miscellaneous weapons and armor. There’s also some food and water. 

Whisper leaves the sleep gas on, and hears some voices coming out of one of the tubes, labeled guard’s quarters. 

Warden: “I’m going to retreat back to my room with a couple of guards. You take the tunnels and go pry them out of the panic room. We’ll get this all wrapped up."

Whisper opens the trapdoor and looks down into the tunnel system. There are actually two trap doors, and they appear to go into different tunnels. Can hear feet coming down the tunnel; three people, he thinks. He spikes the trap doors closed, starting with the one with the footsteps. He then grabs a bunch of weapons and heads down the stairs. He comes to a side-passage whence he can turn left or continue on straight. 

He comes up a set of stairs that apparently end in a blank wall… but there are wisps of gas still slipping through the cracks. He hears a smashing sound down the tunnels; it’s probably guards trying to get through the trap door. He waits. They continue smashing at the trap door and finally get through. Whisper stays silent where he is. 

One of the monks-guards arrives in the passage with Whisper. Whisper opens the door and slips through, finding Baldy on his back on the stone. He move and kicks Baldy awake, leaving the secret door open behind him, and drops the pile of weapons on Baldy. 

Baldy scoops up the light crossbow and loads it. The monk runs into the room. “They’re in-- ugh!” Baldy shoots him with the crossbow. It doesn’t do that much damage, but it brings him to a momentary halt. Whisper stabs the monk with a dagger. Baldy shoots him again. Monk: “Fuck! Shit!” He backs up as Whisper stabs at him again, and shuts the door behind him. 

Whisper tries to open the door, but the monk is holding it closed. Baldy gets up and charges the door and manages to smash it open with his body. He and the monk both go tumbling down the stairs. The monk tries to grapple Baldy, but Baldy manages to slap him away. Whisper slides next to them and stabs the monk again. Baldy is still slap-fighting, but the monk manages to grapple him. Baldy: “Oh, yeah, pin me Daddy!”

The monk has called for somebody to get back to the sleep lever, and Whisper hears steps. The monk attempt to slap him into unconsciousness, and Baldy opens his mouth to absorb the blow. Whisper runs for the lever room through the tunnels. He’s sprinting, but he’s a dwarf; he’s not that fast. He runs up the stairs and finds one dwarf by the levers and one looking surprised. These guys are *not* monks; but one of them pulls the gas lever. The other one pulls a weapon and starts toward Whisper, but misses him.

The monk attacks again, but Baldy manages to avoid the attack through sheer carnal flexibility. (His favorite class in school was mouthmatics.) 

Whisper throws himself on the guy with the lever, knocking him away. Baldy is getting himself tied in knots. The guy that Whisper tackled manages to throw him off. The gas is now creeping down the stairs. Baldy: “Oh! We’re going to wake up in each other’s arms. Now *that* take me back.” 

The monk finally manages to land a blow, and Baldy is stunned. 

Whisper stabs the guy in front of him. One of them slices him, but not badly. The monk grabs Baldy, take a deep breath, and runs up the stairs to drop Baldy just inside the secret door. Whisper is still fighting the two guys; Baldy is back to being asleep. 

The monk slams the door and then crumples against it, also unconscious. Whisper continues fighting, but nobody hits anybody. Whisper manages to hit one of the guys, then smashes the glass and grabs the red lever; he looks at the two guys threateningly. They attack him. 

He pulls the lever. The anti-magic field goes away. Vinnie: “Awwww, yeah. That’s the stuff.” Whisper stabs with his suddenly-magic dagger and takes one guy down. He fights with the other guy, taking a bit more damage in the process, and takes the second guy down as well. 

He shuts the gas off, and starts counting down waiting for it to dissipate. While he’s waiting he flips the emergency doors open, then goes to finish off the monk. He gets about halfway down the passage and hears footsteps running towards him. Vinnie hasn’t got much left for us in the way of spells, but he drops Phantom Steed in the passage, and the horse charges the monk. “Oh! Fuck! Shit!” The horse runs over him and he takes damage. 

Whisper follows the horse around the corner and stabs the absolute *fuck* out of the monk. The horse attempts to stomp on him, forcing him to dodge and preventing him from getting to his feet. He tries to sweep Whisper’s legs out from under him, but Whisper resists and stabs him again. 

The horse promptly tramples him to death. 

Vinnie: “You know, I was thinking Fireball, Lightning Bolt, and then I thought… horse!” 

Baldy wakes up to see Whisper coming past on a ghostly horse, tossing weapons around. He decides to shake Monster awake and have him come with us. 

Lithos wakes up to mouth-to-mouth from Vinnie. This also wakes up James, who is only slightly less appalled than Lithos is. 

We still need to finish getting people out, and Monster accepts a greatsword though he seems a bit reluctant to use it. 

The riot in the yard has resumed, now on somewhat more equal terms. Baldy rushes over and grabs Lithos’ and Amergin’s stuff. Baldy also grabs the Pipes of the Sewers, grins maniacally, and starts playing them. He also grabs Roetta Blackwood’s spellbook: Scare, Cause Fear, and Chill Touch. 

Whisper gallops back to Solitary, pops the lock, and gets James and Lithos out. We should go. But first: tunnel to the guards’ quarters. We start routing people down into the tunnels. Whisper jams the sleep lever. We disable the lever labeled “gas” too. 

Leaving the riot to fall as it may, we take to the tunnels and head for the guards’ quarters, with Baldy playing the Bagpipes of the Sewers . We come to the stairs leading up to the wall. Whisper charges through the door on his phantom steed, smashing it open; Whisper tumbles off and lands neatly beside it. The horse fails to trample anybody. A monk tries to tumble over next to Whisper, but whifs it; Whisper tries to stab him but misses. He attempts to punch Whisper and hits him. 

Amergin throws Entangle into the room. Various guards attack, mostly missing. Monster lumbers up the stairs and swings at the monk but misses. James races up behind him, jumps across the horse, tumbles, and lands in the back. Lithos fires of Glitterdust, blinding a couple of enemies, while Baldy sends his rat swarm up the stairs to assault the blinded glitterdust victims. 

Whisper takes out a blinded scrub. The monk attacks Monster with a stunning fist; Monster is stunned. The rats are on the monk, the legion fighter, and one of the scrubs. Amergin moves up and heals Whisper. 

The legion fighter turns around, looks at James, laughs… and turns around and attacks Whisper, hitting him very had with a dwarven waraxe. The battlerager, however, attacks James and hits once, doing a bit of damage. The blind scrub misses, and the other scrub misses the horse. The horse, meanwhile tramples the scrub and moves further into the room. 

James swings his awesome mace of awesomeness and hits the battlerager with a sneak attack. Lithos hits the battlerager with a Ray of Enfeeblement; his target loses a significant portion of his strength. The rats continue working on the legion fighter and the monk. Baldy moves up, still playing his bagpipe, and and puts a crossbow bolt through the throat of one of the scrubs. The scrub goes down. Whisper stabs the legionnaire, doing a fair amount of damage. 

The monk attacks Monster again, hitting him critically but failing to stun him. The horse is basically rampaging at this point. Amergin heals Whisper again. The legion fighter attacks Whisper, but doesn’t do much damage. The battlerager attacks James again, doing a bit of damage. The remaining scrub is just attacking the stone wall. Monster attacks the monk, doing a chunk of damage. James hits the battlerager again. Lithos tags the monk with Scorching Ray, burning him badly. The scrub is still struggling on, blind and being eaten by rats. Whisper moves to flank the battlerager, stabs him, and watches him fall. Vinnie: “Oh, yeah! Hey, I should start turning some of these guys into zombies." 

Lithos:  "No! Not now!"

The monk hits Monster again, and stuns him. Amergin gives him a bit of healing to help him keep going. The legion fighter attacks Monster and takes him down. 

James is still caught in the Entangle and tries to move on the Legion Guy; Legion Guy takes damage. The monk manages to slip through the Entangle and attacks Whisper but misses. Amergin stabilizes Monster. Lithos renders Whisper invisible, and he takes out the legion fighter. The scrub finally goes down as the pile of rats swarms over him. The monk takes a bit more damage from Lithos throwing acid. Whisper attempts to shank the monk. The monk sizes up the room and surrenders. 

Amergin ties him up and starts asking questions. 

We use the warden’s keyring to open the vault. The place is absolutely full, and after ten minutes we’ve made a huge mess but we haven't found our stuff and it’s taking too long. The warden has the lever for the outer doors and a book that lists where things are kept in the vault; we're going to have to go dig him out of his hole.

Terra Povos: The Prison Break

We have – Whisper has – started pulling together a plan. We want to escape the prison *without* leaving a trail of corpses behind us. We’re pretty sure the local guards have keys to their areas, and there are a handful of guards that are dedicated to walking the yard. Whisper studies the guard’s keys and concludes that he should be able to pick those locks, but only with some time undisturbed. 

Sven and a couple of his lieutenants are out of their cells in the evening; they’re the brown-noser. The Gravelers have a dude who’s allowed to carve trinkets by himself in the yard, an activity which involves sharp tools. 

So Whisper’s ask is fo us to not eat or drink anything except the beer for the next two days. And he’s asking Amergin to bring him some truly horrible poop so he can cause a Listeria outbreak. 

Amergin roams the halls, collecting the nastiest poop he can find. He assembles a concoction and lets it ferment for a day or two. The guards blame it on some weird bit of obscure druidry. 

So now he’s got the lovely filth, and he just… swaps it out for Whisper’s bucket. The guard notices, but Amergin bluffs him about his bag being full. Whisper scoops out what he needs, and leaves the rest; and Whisper – using herbs to hide the scent as best he can – smuggles it into the yard. He then attempts to subtly mix it into the cleaning water in a sort of rosemary prison-shit reduction. 

The guards notice that he’s messing with the water, so he attempts to try to distract them by ripping a huge fart and then rubbing a bit of rosemary. They escort him back to his cell, and James manages to convince them that the water is fine for washing dishes. 

Unfortunately, that only take out about five people, and they isolate them in Solitary while they try to recover. We try again: Amergin collects more poop, and determine that Ulf – who helps Solvi – is definitely sick. We start spreading that as a rumor: he shouldn’t be working with Solvi right now. 

So Lithos picks a fight with James, and both of us get dragged to solitary… leaving Whisper to discreetly infect the bucket. 

…And now we have a good outbreak going. Two thirds of the prison – now including Lithos – is completely nauseated. Lithos is blind and he can barely move; what we actually produced here is Blinding Sickness. Lithos sends Vinnie to go talk to Whisper. 

The guards are grossly understaffed, and Whisper – now magically disguised as a guard, courtesy of Vinnie. Guard: "Oy! Jerry! Good to see you looking better!" 

Whisper tugs at his throat and sort of waves at the other guard. Once everyone else is in place, he slips over to the metal door to Solvi’s storeroom and looks at the lock, which looks… tough. 

Amergin, meanwhile, hears the guard outside his door complaining about how he’s feeling so poorly. They chat a bit, and Amergin heads out to do his work shift… pausing only to try to clock the guard and toss him in Amergin’s former cell. Guard: "What the fuck are ye doin’?"

Amergin: "I’m tryin’ tae help ye!" He hits the guard. The guard hits him back, but the guard is a monk and hits back really, really hard. They go another round or so, but the monk subdues him and drags him back into his cell. 

Whisper races over to the special holding cells. Monster and Thrain both sound okay. He starts on Monster’s door. "Oh, you open door! I never come out. It’s because I’m dangerous. I should probably stay." 

Whisper guides him out the door. He just follows Whisper along to Thrain’s cell. "Oh, no. He bad man. We shouldn’t let him out. You think we should let him out? We shouldn’t let him out." Whisper manages to convince him. He pops the lock on Thrain’s door. Whisper smiles at him, pushes the door wide open, and walks away. Thrain gets up, walks to the door, looks around… starts trying to open the door to the wizards’ area. He runs down the hall, finds another locked door and starts banging on it.

Whisper and Monster head down the other way, towards the divine casters’ wing. Thrain is making a commotion behind them. Thrain eventually busts the door down and charges past the guard towards the next door. Thrain throws him off and smashes a door. 

Lithos, fortunately, is in Solitary. 

The guard greets Whisper as Jerry, and after a few moments he looks back, pretends to see Monster, and books it over to the other side of the room. There’s a brief exchange of blows, and the guard is winning. 

Whisper finds Amergin, who is completely unconscious. Vinnie: "Zombie?"

He opens another door and releases the Priestess of Appolyon, who charges out and starts adding to the chaos. He releases the mute druid as well, then goes back and picks up Amergin. Vinnie offers to grant him Telekinesis, but he goes for Shocking Grasp instead and they manage to take the guard down. Monster: "He hurt me!" He starts crying. Darexis the priestess interprets what Whisper wants and agrees to start a riot. 

They take the keys off the guard, and head off to open the storeroom where the levers apparently are. There are still screams and cries in the magic users’ wing. He drops the Symbol of Sleep on the Solitary door and bangs on it while Darexis yells for help. 

Baldy, meanwhile, is distracting the guard in his area with made-up information about something that’s about to happen. The guard is so completely distracted that he comes into in the cell and falls asleep. Baldy sneaks out, pilfering the guard’s keys on the way. He locks the guard in the cell. He starts unlocking the cells for the Nomads and the Gravelers, leaving the guard safely locked in his own cell. He’s busily inspiring them – "FREEDOM!" – and they come surging out. 

Meanwhile, in the main room, Thrain the berserked and Rometta Blackblood the cannibal necromancer come surging out of the wizards’ holding area. At this point Baldy shows up with the rebellion, and that’s enough noise to draw out the remaining guards and the warden. There’s a wizard, a couple of guys who are actually armed, and warden Hammer M’Hole. There’s a guy with a masterwork greatsword and a couple of guys in plate armor with axes and shields. Quick assessment: they’re going to go right through the rioters like a scythe through wheat, 

We immediately have Vinnie shrink the guards to half their size. We then create a net and let it drop on the shrunken guards. 

The warden’s keyring has more keys than everybody else. The wizard tries to escape the net and fails. Whisper sneaks over to the side of the guards. Whisper motions to Vinnie and makes the Time Out gesture. Vinnie drops a Time Stop on him. Whisper takes the warden’s keys, heads to the first door, unlocks it, and heads down to the next door. Amergin calls for Telekinesis. 

Then he closes the door behind Whisper and slams the guards against the ceiling. Whisper opens the door to the storeroom, which has the gear for the mages and priests, some mundane weapons, and stairs down to the tunnels. He finds a secret door as well, and beyond it is a room with four levers: Sleep, Gas, Doors, and one in a glass box with a hammer, which is presumably Death. 

He pulls the one labeled Doors.  

A bunch of stone doors drop down. The warden yells: "They’ve gone to the panic room!"

Archibald: "Lay down and surrender or everybody dies!" 

The guards start cutting their way loose. 

Prisoners: "What do you mean we’re going to die?" 

Whisper pulls Sleep. 

Sleep gas fills most of the prison. Vinnie leans over to Lithos and starts trying to resuscitate Lithos with skull to mouth. The small goblin wizard tastes the funk of forty thousand years. This is the real magic mouth, right here, and Lithos learns a new spell on the spot: Lithos' Telekinetic Tongue.

Terra Povos: Life Advice for Wizards

"Ya know, kid," said the skull floating in Lithos' prison cell, "you really should have specialized in necromancy. It's a great school of magic, plus it's got so much style. And you know what you need more of, kid?"

Lithos hesitated, but only for a heartbeat. He really didn't want to offend Vinnie, because at this point he was absolutely convinced that the floating skull with the hat and sunglasses really was the demilich he claimed to be, and while Lithos was proud of his own progress as a spellcaster, a demilich was just this side of being an actual god. If Vinnie ever turned on them, they were all dead. So the choice was really between humoring him -- tempting, since Lithos considered himself an ethical coward at heart -- and playing along as if he didn't recognize the threat, which Vinnie seemed to enjoy. "Is it style?" he asked. 

"There ya go. I knew you was a smart kid. I'm tellin' ya, a little more training and a lot more death magic, and you'll be unstoppable. You're the mage, you should be runnin' this party. And you should definitely look the part."

Lithos, who'd been trying to review the structures of the spells that he still had prepared so they didn't fade out, suppressed a passive-aggressive sigh. He couldn't use any of them -- the anti-magic field that covered the prison saw to that -- but he didn't want to lose track of them, either. If he'd ever given the matter even the least bit of thought, he would have expected a demilich to be much more evil. More demanding, more threatening, more terrifying. Instead, what Vinnie was could more accurately be described as exasperating. "So you don't like my hat?"

Vinnie considered that. "Naw, the hat's cool. But ya need a better outfit. Fitted black robes. A dark cloak with an actual fingerbone for a clasp. An onyx amulet, or maybe a brooch. Ya know, actually we ought to go better than that. Forget the robes, kid. We need to set you up with black leather pants and a long coat, some hardcore stomping boots, and sunglasses. Definitely sunglasses. We need ta make ya look dangerous."

"Dangerous?" asked Lithos, giving up and turning his attention to the floating skull. "I'm a goblin. I have the height, physique, and overbearing presence of... I don't know, possibly some kind of small rodent. At best. There isn't a tailor in the world who could fix that."

"And that's why you need more style, kid. You've got magic, the most powerful stuff around. Forget big guys with lots of muscles and ridiculously oversized axes; you're the one who can point at something and make it die. You're the one who controls the battle so all your siblings look like they know what they're doing." 

"...Go on." 

"Look, when you come floating into a room -- because you're too important to just walk like all those losers who don't do magic -- your outfit needs to warn people that you're the one to watch out for. You're the one who makes this group succeed. You're the one in charge. And hey, if you don't feel like casting a spell to make yourself fly, have a group of undead servitors carry you in on an palanquin. Nobody's gonna look down on you after that. But when you step out, you gotta look the part, ya see what I'm sayin'?"

Lithos paused, struck by the image. It wasn't that he didn't know what it was like to be accepted, even respected. His mom was great that way. His dad wasn't quite as good at it, but he did his best. Even a couple of teachers had been very open with him about recognizing his intelligence. And once his initial testing was complete, Master Flyleaf hadn't hesitated at all to accept him as an apprentice. 

It was just that day to day, a lot of people treated him as a goblin. The people who knew him mostly accepted him, and they only ever slipped up occasionally, but Stoneshore saw enough trade that there were plenty of people who didn't know him. The memory of Warden M'Hole blithely assuming that Lithos could be nothing more important than a camp helper was fresh in his mind, and it was only the most recent of an endless list of slights that he simultaneously resented and knew would be considered too unimportant to object to. 

It was enough to wear a goblin down, even if he was legally a dwarf. 

"So..." he ventured. "Death magics and style?"

"Let me teach ya, kid." The skull had drifted over towards the locked door of the cell. "We can do this. Trust me."

"Apprentice," said Lithos. 

"What?" 

"I'll be your apprentice," he said. "I'd love to learn from you, even if I'm not... not devoted to death magics the way you are." He swallowed. "But I won't be your minion."

"Sure," said Vinnie. "Apprentice, not minion. And now you gotta prove yourself by gettin' yerself and your family out of this prison. And if you need some zombies on your side, you just lemme know."

Terra Povos: In The Hole

So, the dwarven Senator is dead, We’re in jail. 

The Lictor is Bjorn, the Senator was Goldbeard, and the senator’s son is Throg. The skull is Vinny. 

We sit in the cell for a week. Despite James’ constant questions, it isn’t bloodbowl season. At the end of the week, Ingrid – our Advocate – appears. She thinks we’re pretty much screwed, but she’s going to do her best to get us off. We are, of course, being charged with the murder of the senator. 

She is, to put it charitably, incompetent. It’s her first case, the Quaestor himself is judging it, and the fix is definitely in. 

A dwarf calling himself Gorm opens the door in the middle of the night. He obviously knows who we are. He thinks we can help each other. 

Archibald: “How?”

Gorm: “You guys have a problem. It’s Throg. He’s enraged, he’s hot-headed, and he’s the head of the family now. Myself, I’m concerned that this might have something to do with one of my guys. I need somebody who can track down somebody who’s outside the law.”

Archibald: “A rogue rogue?” 

Gorm: “No. But I need somebody to track this guy, and you need this Throg problem to go away.”

Note: the dungeon we’re currently in is one of the local city dungeons; we’re not in the Goldbeard estate. 

Gorm: “This person was potentially formerly working for Goldbeard, and if he turned on Goldbeard then I have a problem that needs to be cleaned up. Unfortunately, Throg has made this whole thing very public. But I can get you sent to a low-security prison and supply you with some equipment. That way Throg’s satisfied and you’re off his radar. And with everything that’s been happening in Stonehaven–” 

“Wait. Since we’ve been gone?”

“Yes. Your boat captain has been killed, for example.”

Ohhhhh, boy. 

We explain that there are other things going on, and Gorm reluctantly agrees to wait on hearing our additional information. Ingrid shows up bright and early and ready to go: “It’s time to argue my first trial, and in front of the Quaestor himself!” Also, the cake had metal in it and so wasn’t allowed into the prison. Throg comes in with a horde of lawyers; we have Ingrid. Quaestor Hammerheart comes in and Throg launches into his case. He calls some of the maids, and Dane (whose fighting ring we busted up). Ingrid stands up and proudly declares that we’re throwing ourselves on the mercy of the Court. 

Hammerheart stands up: “I am ready to render my judgement.” 

Gorm comes in and is sitting in the back. The Quaestor calls a recess and speaks with Gorm, and Whisper sees him say, “No souls? Truly?” 

He calls court back into session, but much less publicly; his judgement: “I’m sorry. You seem like good kids. The best I can do for you is ten years in The Hole.”

Throg looks like he has no idea what his father might have been into; he’s just straight up angry and lashing out. As we’re being marched out, somebody slips Whisper a pack of thieves’ tools and a note suggesting that someone will contact us on the inside. They cart us down to a small prison built off one of the abandoned mine tunnels: The Hole. Warden M’hole introduces himself; he usually goes by his first name, Hammer. 

Amergin’s going in the priests’ wing. James and Whisper are going in general population. Archibald is apparently going to start by spending a day in solitary, which has not only anti-magic but also Silence. Lithos gets classified into the wizard’s wing, not because Hammer M’hole believes that he’s a wizard, but because he’s pretty sure that Lithos is a camp slave and will get eaten alive in general population. We’re down about 4,000 feet and it’s about 100 degrees and damp. 

Amergin gets a little coil of thorns to worship, and the guard also asks about hours. Amergin has them mark him down as nocturnal; the shop won’t be open then, but Amergin doesn’t care. They don’t have any plants or animals except Monster, whatever that is. Waste bucket duty will earn him a bit of extra money. 

There are a couple of other people in the priests’s cells: a dwarven druid who’s been there for a while, named Lars, who has sworn a vow of silence. There’s an elf priest of Apollyon named Darexis, a priest of Amun who refuses to give his name. 

Things are a little tougher in general population. Guard: “There are three gangs. Join one. The Gravelers are mine workers. The Nomads are mostly dwarves, led by Naughty Hilda. The Chiefs are the most diverse gang, take care of their own, work with the guards.” They ask them about jobs. They both take up dish-washing as a job. 

Baldy is trying to sing, and failing. Eventually he gets the speech as well. He meets Trachelious, who wears fancy clothing but keeps muttering to himself. Rometta Blackblood is a convicted dwarven necromancer – she doesn’t eat with the others because she tend to try to eat the other prisoners. There’s also a bald, tubby human called Zaccharius The Wise. Amergin tries to get basic advice on what to do and what to avoid. The priest of Amun is like, “Oh, yeah. I know exactly how to get out of here. There are secret passageways all over this place. The guards have rings that let them see. I haven’t gone yet because I’m waiting to buy a bedroll.” Darexis is a dark elf priestess of Apollyon; she fought with a dwarf because he was weak, and killed him. 

Whisper and James eat by themselves. 

Trachelious seems to have been a sorcerer, and maybe not being able to cast spells has caused him to freak out. Zac is more helpful; he explains about Solvi, who runs the commissary. Some prisoners who’ve been here for a long time get to help her out. There’s one guy who’s this monster of a dwarf, called Monster; Zac thinks he seems nice enough. The guards have their own quarters, and that’s where the vault is; the warden’s room is back there. There are ballistae aimed to protect the front gate, and there are speaking tubes that the guards use and may also be able to listen in on us.

Baldy finally gets brought out of solitary. He, James, and Whisper are all out there in the yard with the gangs. The Gravelers are pretty obvious; the Chiefs and the Nomads slightly less so. The Chiefs are off to one side, calmer, a little better dressed; the Grvelers obviously just spend most of their money on beer. 

A dwarf comes over and shoves James over. Whisper steps up in front of him. The dwarf laughs. “It’s my job to clean up the yard,” he says. “I was just trying to clean up some vermin.” 

A big dwarf comes over from the Chiefs. “I want to fight him.” He points at James.

James, looking at a dwarf that’s twice his size. “Yes!” 

The dwarf rolls up his sleeves; James shakes out his arms. Baldy attempts to sing and inspire courage, which doesn’t work but sounds nice. (The whole place is under an anti-magic field.) She punches the dwarf, who grunts more in surprise than anything else. The dwarf swings and misses. He grunts again. She punches him again. This time he punches her, and looks surpised when she shrugs it off. He swings again and misses. 

The guards have faded back. Baldy starts trying to take bets, and the shopkeeper is just waiting for this to be over. Whisper steps into the crowd and swipes a mug of extremely watered beer. James kicks the guy in the shin. “Oi! That wee little thing, it hits so hard! How is it so strong?”

He staggering, and misses again. James hops up and punches him under the chin, and he goes over on his back. The guy from the middle of the Chiefs nods and motions James over. Baldy collects on the bets. Sven introduces himself: “Looks like you can hold your own. How about your friends over there?”

As far as Sven’s concerned, the Chiefs run this jail. They’re the ones who have a code of behavior. They take care of their own problems in house. They’re also basically on the side of the warden and the guards. Gaerm, who James just knocked out, got nine years for killing a man with a trident. One of the people Sven introduces is Kyril, a former smuggler who’s been here for a while; *his* job is to inventory the box.

Sven motions the other two over. Whisper isn’t having any of this, but Archibald is in. James, however, manages to sell Sven on the idea of using Whisper as an agent in another gang. They stage a quick scene, and it looks reasonably convincing. Whisper goes off to examine his new mug. 

Baldy goes and talks to Solvi, to see what’s available. It’s general stuff, including clothing, small decorations, One of the Gravelers, Scorr, carves tiny trinkets that she sells. Despite having won ninety copper from the betting, he doesn’t buy anything yet. 

Amergin has his evening shift. He goes around with the guards, and in the process picks up a better understanding of the layout. 

Lithos wakes up to see a small drawing in poop of two unicorns on the wall. He spends his time in the yard and buys a piece of chalk. A guy slams into the bars looking into the yard. It’s ugly Thrain, who inflicted all those scars on himself. Lithos stops to talk to Monster. He seems nice. He then tries to talk to Thrain. 

The guards out here have no armor, no weapons; just normal clothes, though they’re fit and athletic. He heads back to his cell. It’s a few hours before dinner when the skull shows up. It’s Vinny. He’s been talking to Gorm using a borrowed body. One of his teeth is growing bright brilliant green – it’s a new gem. He can offer us some health.

Our stuff is in the vault, except Amergin and Lithos’ stuff is in the storeroom for the stores. ·         

Create undead minions (no onyx required)

Move small objects telekinetically himself

Imbue other with ability to move objects telekinetically for 20rnds

Lv9: Time Stop (for somebody else) for 3 rounds
Lv8: Clone somebody, with sufficient flesh
Lv7: Statue (Recipient can “become statue at will”)
Lv6: Mage’s Lucubration, recall one of the lv1-5
Lv5: Telepathic Bond, Symbol of Sleep
Lv4: Minor Creation (1x cloth or wood object), Mass Reduce Person
Lv3: Greater Magic Weapon, Phantom Steed
Lv2: Detect Thoughts, Magic Mouth
Lv1: Disguise Self (but on other), Shocking Grasp (on someone else, they can discharge later)

He heads off and vanishes again. 

Lithos uses chalk to draw a little skull with sunglasses on.  Below it he writes, “He’s back.”

Amergin thinks this through. He’s aware that the yard is mostly empty at night. 

Day Two: 

Overnight, Whisper tests his lockpicks and explains about the inside man in the note, so James and Archibald are now up to speed. Archibald gathers some information and ends up talking to the Nomads. Gary, one of the Nomads, says the warden took his golden diamond from the vault. Kyril is the member of the chiefs who inventories the Vault; Ulf is the one who helps Solvi. 

James, it should be noted, still has the cursed mace that periodically leaps into his hand. There are possibilities here. 

Archibald attempts to seduce Solvi; one of the guards comes up behind him and jabs him between the shoulders. He’s stunned. Two of the guards haul him back out to the yard and toss him down on his back. 

That evening one of the guards comes up to the cell. “You. Baldy. You’re invited to a special gathering.” 

This is the point where Sven and a couple of the Chief beat the shit out of him and explain that he needs to stop causing trouble. 

Lithos, meanwhile, goes back to his room after dinner. Vinny is waiting. Lithos has him establish Telepathic bonds with Whisper and Amergin. 

The telepathic bond should last a couple of days.

Lithos: At The Square

"I can't believe you put a sleep spell on your bed," Kalkin said, for about the seventh time. They were walking back to the small market square where the tinkers had set their wagons. Once Lithos had finished his lecture, it hadn't been all that hard to convince the other to cut the kobold loose.

"You didn't have to find out," Lithos reminded him. "Now most of my siblings think we're sleeping together."

"Not even if you were a kobold," Kalkin assured him."Not even if you were an incredibly sexy female kobold."

"Kalkin!" a voice called from overhead. Lithos glanced up as Syscylla circled once and then descended, folding her wings behind her as she landed. "Where have you--?" She glanced at Lithos. "Oh. You."

Lithos nodded. "Yes. Oh, me." He actually kind of liked Syscylla; she was Kalkin's sister, younger by about a year, and where her brother's draconic bloodline had manifested as sorcery, hers had manifested as leathery red wings. 

Wings were cool. He wouldn't mind having wings. 

Scylla turned her attention to Kalkin. "Look, whatever you've been getting up to with the goblin--"

Kalkin tried to interrupt, but Scylla kept talking. 

"--you need to get back to the families now. Mom's been worried sick that you'd been arrested and the peacekeepers were about to descend on us, and Dad's been insisting that you were probably right there in the room and laughing your invisible ass off. They had a whole big fight about it. Nobody asked me, of course." She looked at Lithos again. "Um. You should go back to your den now. Pretty sure Uncle Padirog and most of the rest of the elders are going to try to murder you if my idiot brother tries to bring his goblin boyfriend back home."

"We're not--" said Kalkin, just as Lithos protested, "It's not a den--" They stopped, looked at each other, and Lithos finished with, "It's a perfectly respectable inn. And I'm officially a dwarven citizen now." 

"...And we are not," Kalkin added, "any sort of item."

Syscylla frowned doubtfully. "If you say so. You still need to get back to the wagons. And you need to get back to your perfectly respectable inn."

Lithos eyed Kalkin for a long moment. "Find another hobby," he suggested, and turned to start walking away. 

"What," asked Kalkin, "and miss out on all this fun?"

Lithos: The Rival in Repose

"Um... Lithos?" asked James, stepping aside so he could see. "Why is there a kobold sleeping in your blankets? Is there something you need to tell us?"

"Darkstabber's sacred vulva," Lithos muttered, and Archibald shot him a look. "That little shit."

Lithos wasn't usually so vehement, so he immediately had the others' attention. "You know them?" Whisper signed. 

Lithos sighed and then nodded. "Lissorkalkin. Kalkin for short. He's... His family are tinkers. They come into town in their wagon train maybe once a year, looking for work. Kalkin's different, though. He's got dragon blood. He's a sorcerer." Lithos sighed again. "And he's been trying to prove that he's better at magic than I am ever since we met."

"Okay," said Amergin slowly, "but why's he sleeping in your bed?"

"He was probably trying to steal my grimoire," Lithos admitted. "Like I said, he wants to prove that his way of doing magic is better than mine. That's one of his arguments: he doesn't need a book to do magic."

"Okay," said Archibald, even more slowly, "but why is he sleeping in your bed?"

"Because I trapped it," Lithos admitted. 

"You what?" asked James, looking at him. 

"Magical trap," said Lithos. "I'm a wizard, I can do that. Master Flyleaf showed me how." 

Whisper was scribbling on his slate, and they all waited for him to finish. When he turned it to Lithos, it said: You can set magical traps? 

"Sure," said Lithos. "It's not hard. Kalkin could too, except his magics don't include the right spells. Which is why my way of doing magic is better."

"Should we report him?" asked Archibald. 

"Or kill him?" asked James. She was smiling the sort of calm, imperturbable smile that had always made their classmates take a long, involuntary step back.

Lithos shook his head. "No, we'll do something worse."

Amergin, almost reluctantly, asked: "...Worse?"

Lithos nodded. "Yeah. Muzzle him and tie his hands. Then I'm going to make him listen while I explain how much his sorcery sucks compared to my wizardry. Dumbass thought I'd keep my grimoire hidden in my bed, and that he could sneak in here invisibly and take it. Instead, he gets to listen to me lecture."

"Diabolical," Archibald said, in a tone of soft awe.

Lithos Foundingstone: Mornings

"Wake up, Lithos." One of his siblings was prodding him, but at the moment he wasn't even sure which one. 

"No," he said, and curled up tighter in his blanket. The blanket had been made for dwarves, of course, so there was plenty of it to burrow into. 

"Lithos, come on," the voice repeated. That would be Amergin, which... Still no. Amergin usually knew what was going on and what to do about it, but even mostly unconscious Lithos was completely certain that he wasn't working the inn today. If he wasn't working, then he didn't need to wake up. Q.E.D.

The caves were smooth-walled and comfortable, and he had his own little nook with just room for himself and his blankets, very cozy once he'd warmed it up. Nobody would bother him all the way back here, not even the other goblins...

Someone was tugging on his blanket. Whoever it was wasn't saying anything, just pulling the blanket up and letting gravity do the work of unrolling Lithos. "Hey! Hey! I'm slee--" That was as far as he got before he tumbled loose, unwilling awake. 

Rubbing at his left butt-cheek, where he'd landed on a stone floor, he looked around. Oh. Right. They put us in their jail. It made sense, after a fashion. The Senator was dead, after all. Though the idea that the group of them would just walk in to accept the Senator's dinner invitation, poison the man -- if it even was poison -- and then just stand around afterwards beggared belief. Still, he supposed the Lictor had to be thorough, even if the Senator's idiot son had been inclined to execute them on the spot. 

"Do I really need to be awake for th--?" He finally focused on the door of the cell. "Oh. I guess I do."

Terra Povos: Tying Up Loose Ends

So Vinny used to be a dwarf, before he was a floating magic skull with green gem eyes and green gem teeth that glow. He became a wizard and a lich, was living out in the west caverns and then Durest put necromancy on the map. Vinny’s a big fan of this, and then when Durest ascended Vinny decided to shrug off his body.

Turns out the dwarves are still racist against necromancers, so Vinny takes over the crypt of trickery, renames it to Durest’s Funhouse, and it helps spread the word around.

We manage to get back to the dock, and go ashore. We get the stuff for Mom to do spells with, and then Vinny pots  nice fox-fur handbag and he wants it. Well, okay, we buy it for him. He snuggles in; he’s very excited about this. We had back over to the Shattered Golem, bringing Mister Pibbles the carrion crawler into the stable. The Alderman and our goblin contact Max Glimmergab are at a table, and they’re pretty drunk. 

Mom comes out and hustles into the back before the two drunks really focus on us. 

We hand over the spell components and break down who needs help with the restoration. She thrilled that we’ve returned with enough money to get Pythia resurrected. We’re going to have to make the journey to Silverkeep to get it done, though. 

The conversation that ensues is someone awkward, especially after Vinny teleports up to our room and starts offering to reanimate our dead sister. As an undead. Which… NO. Lithos goes upstairs to try to head him off, which cues up a whole Benny Hill scene complete with Yackety Sax for the background music/

The rest of us eventually recount the story… well, most of it. 

Then we get the story of why Alderman Thunderbrew is drunk: the “investigator” talked his way into questioning the prisoners and then killed them. Mom thinks we should go check the jail and release the two guards that Thunderbrew locked up after that. The Senator is pissed and the Quaestor is coming to investigate the crime scene in person. 

The Senator isn’t here yet, and apparently we’re still invited to dine with him. He's also in Silverkeep, so we can do that and resurrect Pythia all at the same time.

We stop and talk to the two drunks. Alderman Thunderbrew has left Grimgor (the head of the Guard) to watch the jail; the Alderman explains how the investigator just came in, and went to talk to the prisoners. Also he had a package for us “from the quaestor” to “thank us for solving the mystery.” He seemed so official, the investigator did, in the colors of Silvergard with the logo on his back. Short-trimmed beard, jet black hair, kind of thin – for dwarf. Looked like a good underhill soldier – chainmail and  a tabard. 

We wait until morning, when we get our Wisdom restored. At some point Amergin comes out to use the restaurant and finds Vinny floating in the air with a spellbook in front of him and a pair of glasses on, reading. 

Elderman Thunderbrew is sleeping on the table, and Max is curled up in his lap. We have breakfast, Mom restores us. 

We head over to the jail. Grimgar looks up from the desk. “Oh thank God! Can you do something about the Alderman?” 

Baldy: “Marduk and Tara are taking care of that.” 

He takes us over to where we can look at the crime scene. Grimgar: “I wasn’t here when the ‘investigator’ came. So the evening this happened I was at home, and one of the guards called me back to the jail, where Alderman Thunderbrew. Scori and Ulfgar were the two guards on duty. They let the investigator see the prisoners, using the standard protocol. So there are keys on a latching ring in the main room. They go in with the visitor with the keys, so once they’re in they can’t get out. There’s a rope inside that the pull that rings a bell in the guard quarters and that guard comes in to bring the prisoner in.”

James: “Has anybody ever hung themselves on the rope?”

Nobody has.

So, the prisoners are in there and manacled to the floor. Which means that their corpses are now in there manacled to the floor. To find out what happened that night we need to talk to Skoli and Ulfgar. There’s also another prisoner who’s been locked in here this whole time. There are bloody footprints going back and forth across the floor because they’ve been feeding the prisoners while trying to not to touch anything. 

We send a note to the captain of our boat and tell him not to talk to ANYBODY until we get back. James and Lithos stay behind, while Amergin casts Pass Without Trace on the other three. Whisper checks the package for traps and finds nothing; there appears to be a cloak of resistance +1 inside. We open it up and look at the nice writing on the expensive paper: from the desk of the Quaestor’s office of Silverkeep. It thanks us and offers the cloak as a reward. Embroidered on the back of the cloak is the Silvergard emblem. We hand that off to Whisper. 

We are not, at this point at all sure whether the “Investigator” maybe was an impostor who killed a legitimate investigator, or whether for some reason the Quaestor actually wanted the deep dwarf and the duergar smugglers killed, or if something even weirder

Amergin goes sniffing around the outer room; Grimgor doesn’t think that anything much has changed in here. We think Grimgor is basically competent. 

We release Scori and Ulfgar. Grimgor has been using a second key ring; the one they were using is still on the floor. Archibald starts questioning Scori and Ulfgar. Scori is a little slow, but after talking to Ulfgar their stories seem to line up: they brought the investigator in on Thuderbrew’s orders. Red hair, long braided beard. Nice noble clothes. Had the Silvergard logo on his cape, just like the one Whisper is now wearing. 

So they unlock the door, then lock themselves into the holding area. Then they bring the prisoners out from the cells, shackle them to the floor, and they stand with the guest to flank him. Then the Investigator turns around to ask a question and then the guards wake up in the cell. Scori dreamed he was a unicorn. The investigator has a mannerism where he strokes his beard, but this is the third physical description we've gotten of him and aside from being a male dwarf, none of them match. 

Scori and Ulfgar leave with effusive gratitude. 

We move to Gondrin, a drunkard who’s been sitting there in his cell smelling the corpses rot. He’ll tell us the same thing he told Grimgor: there he was in the cell, “drying out”, Then there’s this visit, and they bring the prisoners out, and then things got quiet – really eerie quiet. Magically quiet. Then, out of the corner of his eye he sees the investigator walking back to the holding door. He can’t give us a very good description. And a bit after the guy left, Gondrin could make noise again. 

We agree to let Gondrin go. 

Whisper checks over the holding area, with Amergin and Archibald to help him. The key ring is on the floor, the corpses are still manacled to the floor. Amergin looks over the bodies; they’ve been expertly tortured, probably with tools; it was time-consuming and methodical. Based on what Gondrin had to say, it was something like half an hour before the silence ended. 

Lithos says, “I wonder why none of the bones in their right hands were broken?” Apparently they were writing answers while the silence was in place. There isn’t much sign of struggle, despite the blood on the floor. 

Vinny informs us that the corpses don’t have souls. It’s like the fat on the ribs, he says. He has no idea how that might have happened; he says it wasn’t him, though. Also, he’s too much of a soul snob to have eaten these two. Lithos doesn’t come up with much, except that it’s probably a wizard, sorcerer, or cleric of considerably higher level than us. Archie tells Grimgor that we’re going to have to go to the capital to investigate further and ask for additional support. 

Grimgor is actually pretty favorable towards his idiot boss, the Alderman, and hopes we can help him out. He then falls asleep because Vinny wants to come out and talk and Vinny knows the Sleep spell. He’s not worried about the tarrasque; he thinks this is awesome. He learns that it’s a baby and now he really wants to keep it as a pet. “Ohhhhhh,” he says happily. “This is getting good.” He slips back into his bag. 

We decide we need Mom to come Gentle Repose these corpses, but after that we need to lock the place up to make sure nobody else stumbles into this. We bring Mom over. “Huh,” she says. “That’s weird. It’s not working the way it usually does.” We don’t enlighten her about the missing souls, but it doesn’t matter: she’s our mom. “Amergin Gregory Foundingstone, don’t you lie to me!” 

So we tell her about the missing souls.

“Oh,” she says, “like the Caminante.”

Those are the secret police for the Empire; powerful people – like Senators – would be able to use them. They have this rod that they carry that they can use to eat souls – the rod is called the roubama – to silence witnesses. Brinja and Durak had smuggled the tarrasque baby in, and that means that the Inquisitor – um, investigator – almost certainly knows what they had and who took it from them.

It is definitely time to head for Silverkeep. We can take our boat, fortunately, which will only take about half a day – not that we have days, exactly, down here. We find a room, send word to the senator, and find the Temple of Shiva and get Pythia resurrected. She’s definitely not at full strength, so she’s just going to stay here and rest. We catch her up on the less… incriminating… elements of subsequent events. 

We leave Pythia behind and go back to await word from the senator. We head out to the market to get the lay of the land and do some shopping. There’s news of a customs agent who was killed in Deepwatch – which is where the two smugglers came into the kingdom. None of us think that's a coincidence.

We get back to find a scroll from the senator's butler welcoming us to Silverkeep; he's has a small barrel of fine wine sent to the inn, wine which is neither poisoned nor magical. Not that we're paranoid. The senator is honored that we accepted his summons; he's prepared a supper for us this very evening. 

We head over to the senator's house. We get an immediate introduction to the Senator, his older son Throg, and his lictor (a distinguished warrior who serves as a guard to important personages). Senator Goldbeard is a very polished man. He's polite, he's pleasant, he toasts us as the ones who discovered who killed his son. He's pissed that the ones who killed his son will never face justice-- he collapses onto the table, silent and unmoving.

Vinny says, "Uh-oh. Bad place to be." He disappears from the bag. 

Amergin approaches the senator, looking at Throg and the lictor.

The senator's chest is not moving. 

James spits out his wine. Archibald sets down his food and starts reassuring folks that it'll all be okay and nobody needs to panic. Whisper is taking stock of the situation. Lithos starts casting Detect Magic, and the Lictor draws his sword: "Stop!" 

Throg (the son) calls for us to be arrested as assassins. The lictor pulls him back a bit, but we're still going to the dungeon while they sort things out. Amergin yells for them to seal the house, and Lictor Bjorn acknowledges that as a good idea. We're still going to the dungeon, though.