Erilan: Bad Luck and Good Business

What do you do if you're a ship's wizard who just can't seem to catch a break?

Mad Dog Mulligan just can't win. The last three ships he was on all sank shortly after he joined the crew. 

The first one went down in a terrible storm after the snapping of the mainmast. Mad Dog survived by lashing himself onto a beam alongside the First Mate and the Bosun. and the three of them washed ashore and were marooned for six months with nothing but the clothes on their backs. 

The second was holed by Elvish cannon, but managed to limp away before sinking; most of the crew were able to escape in the boats, but most were subsequently killed by tribes of orcs along the shore. Mad Dog only barely made it back to civilization intact.

The third was a nice little schooner devoted to smuggling rather than piracy, but within a week it ran aground on a set of rocks on a moonless night. Mad Dog was forced to fashion a raft and his best attempt at a sail from the wreckage when he realized that he was, in fact, walking on the back of a dragon turtle. He drifted into Sneaksail Bay half-delirious with thirst, and by then it was too late: everybody knew his luck was bad. He couldn't even book passage on a ship, let alone join a crew. Instead, he did what enterprising pirate-mage would do: he opened a shop. 

Castaway's Vest
Wondrous Item, Uncommon
Standard Price: 400 GP, currently only available from Mad Dog Mulligan

This item appears to a fine-quality vest of leather or cloth, the sort of thing any pirate or sailor would be happy to wear around. It even includes one obvious minor enchantment: while it will not change material or cut, it will alter its colors to match the rest of the wearer's outfit. The vest is equipped with two decent-sized pockets up front, and one wider, sealable pocked located at the small of the back, making it utilitarian as well as fashionable. In addition, the vest has several less-obvious qualities:

Buoyant: Any small or medium humanoid wearing this vest in water will find that it keeps them upright, with their head above the water. No more inconveniently having to tie yourself to a shattered beam from the wreckage of your former ship and hope for the best. 

Patches: Building on the basic idea of a Robe of Useful Items, Mad Dog Mulligan equipped his vests with a series of shaped patches that are only visible to the wearer, or to someone looking at it with True Sight. Castaway's Vests come with the following standard set of patches: 

• Utility Knife (can server as dagger)
• Hatchet (can serve as hand axe)
• 50' of hemp rope
• 10' of lightweight cord
• Firestarting kit
• Bullseye Lantern (filled and lit)
• Burlap sack
• Rowboat (12' long) with emergency sail
• Wooden Ladder (24' long)
• 5 days worth of rations, including fresh water
• Tent, two person capacity (and they'd better like each other, it's cozy)
• 2 Bedrolls
• Sling with twelve stones
• A deck of cards 

Each patch can be activated by removing it from the robe, which causes the patch to transform into the item it represents. Each patch can be used only once, and cannot be returned to the robe. The item thus removes becomes an ordinary item and remains until sold, discarded, lost, destroyed, etc. 

Mad Dog will entertain custom designs with alternate/additional patches, but such specialty items will require six to ten weeks to produce, and may cost more than usual (possibly a lot more, at the DM's discretion). 

 

Survivor's Knife
Weapon (dagger), Uncommon, requires attunement by touching it to salt water
Standard Price 350 GP, currently only available from Mad Dog Mulligan

These blades appear to be a fairly standard fighting or utility knife, with the addition of saw-teeth along the back of the blade. They are always paired with a purpose-built sheath that includes an exterior pouch containing fish hooks, fishing line, flint, and a small steel mirror. The knife gives no bonus to attack or damage in combat, but also does not require sharpening even if used with the flint to set fires. It has the following additional abilities. 

• At dawn each morning, the knife can merge with a walking stick (however crudely carved) to create a spear. (The knife does not care if this walking stick has also been carved out to double as a fishing pole, as long as it's a halfway decent walking stick.) Alternatively, at dawn it can be separated from a walking stick and return to its usual role as a knife. Separating the two does not damage the walking stick.
• Three times per day, the wielder can touch the hilt of the knife or the head of the spear and know which direction is magnetic north. 
• Once per day, when the wielder fails a survival check, they can touch the knife to make another attempt.  

 

Lifeboat Hat
Wondrous Item, Uncommon
Standard Price 500 GP, currently only available from Mad Dog Mulligan

This hat appears to be a perfectly standard, broad-rimmed hat of either cloth or straw -- the sort of thing one might use to avoid sunburn on the open ocean. However, when it it tossed into the water and a command word is spoken, it becomes a covered circular raft that can be completely sealed against the elements and is capable of holding up to eight medium-sized people, though it's only comfortable for about half that. Inside, it contains: 

• A pair of oars that can arranged through oarlocks, which is best done when the top is completely unsealed; otherwise somebody has to go outside and slide them in. They are absolutely hell to use in the open ocean, but could help maneuver towards an island or an approaching ship. They are also very easy to hit your head on if you sit up too fast, or try to move around without looking first.
• Enough rations (including fresh water) to comfortably keep four medium-sized creatures alive for a week.  That translates loosely to eight small creatures for a week, four small creatures for two week, or eight medium creatures on half rations for a week, which is... not pleasant.
• Fishing poles, hooks, and bait, enough to grant Advantage on a survival roll to get more food that way. Preparing the food to be eaten safely is more trick, but in reasonably still waters there's a heating table that can be used to cook. 
• Two scrolls of Purify Food and Drink. 

Vlathor: Pirate Split

"She actually did it," Kiela marveled. 

Valthor nodded. "That was pretty much inevitable. I'm honestly more surprised that she did it without causing a major disaster."

Following the successful attack on the Elvish patrol ship, the second mate Vikke had declared that she would be taking the ship along with her share of the spoils. She recruited enough of the crew to make it work, and a recently-freed troop of orcs to provide protection in exchange for passage. Valthor had seen the trouble coming, but then again so had everyone else. He'd been no more able to prevent it than the Captain had. 

Some things just couldn't be avoided.  

No, this was just another one of those events, and he still needed tears from a mermaid to complete a spell. He kissed Kiela, then drew back. "We'll see you again soon."

"I know," she said. "Hurry back. And if you find likely crew, bring them to the captain." 

DCC: Scrapper

Damian settled back on the platform and started pulling up possible classes. The dungeon had selected a Top Three list of suggestions, just as it had for races, but he dug through the rest just in case. 

Barbarian Thief... no. He was not doing beefcake, and the group was already well equipped for melee and stealth. Pyromaniac... Possibly? It did make use of both bombs and spells to blow things up. But it still seemed off. He skimmed through a half-dozen more, then gave up and went back to the Top Three. 

Bomb-throwing Anarchist
The ruling class has to be reminded that they serve the people, and you're just the one to do it -- with dynamite and anything else that comes to hand. +4 to Explosives Handling, +3 Sense Traps, +4 Remove Traps, +3 Sabotage, and +4 Explosives Engineering. Includes crafting tables for traps and explosives, so you can get right down to blowing things up. Additional skills include +1 to Pistol, Rifle, and Sniper, plus Surprise! which allows you to hide yourself from other player's maps. Also includes the ability to walk away from explosions without looking back. 

Okay, that sounded pretty good. 

Bestial Berserker
You have at least one set of claws already, and you're really hard to kill. Why not round that out with even better combat options? Gain the Reinforced Bones and Power Slice skills at level 3, Enhanced Senses and Damage Resistance at level 2, and the Berserker ability at level 4. Add +4 to base Strength and Constitution, plus resistance to Poison and Disease. 

Now that one just wasn't fair. It was exactly what he'd said he wanted way back at the start of things, back before he'd started playing with explosives and looking for ways to disrupt enemies. It would have been so cool. But the group didn't need another meat shield right now -- they had at least five dedicated fighters who were all better suited to it than he was. Cedric and Puppy had the Enhanced Senses thing covered. And he'd figured out by now that they weren't going to make it through the dungeon on fighting ability alone.

He was still tempted, though.

Finally: 

Scrapper
Scrappers are down to fight, any place, any time, with anything handy. Dirty tricks, improvised weapons, hidden blades, traps, explosives, spells... Whatever you need, a scrapper can scavenge some supplies and make it work. Skills include: Dirty Fighting, Knife Fighting, and Pistol (+1 to existing skill level), Improvised Weapons, Improvised Armor (+2 to existing skill, and can be converted to Weaponsmith and Armorer at level 7), Dangerous Explosives Handling, Explosives Assembly, Remove Traps (+2 to existing skills), and Engineering (+1 to Existing skill). Also includes the Repair Item spell.

Omar?

Yes? 

You have a moment to look these over and give an opinion?

Of course. Let me finish up with Tourmaline, and I'll be back in a minute. 

Omar was as good as his word, and two minutes later he said, Hmmm. Okay, I'd recommend against Bestial Berserker. It's a good choice for you, but not for the overall group.

I thought so, too.

The other two are similar enough to make a choice difficult. Bomb-Throwing Anarchist is very focused on explosives and sabotage, but the Surprise! ability is a real bonus -- though, again, you're not exactly using a stealth build. Still, getting the crafting tables along with the class would give you a head start on making things. Scrapper is a little more versatile -- some similar fighting skills, and Engineering makes a pretty decent substitute for Sabotage -- and that Repair Item spell could come in handy. You don't get the big skill bonuses that Anachist includes, but you get a broader set of skills. I'd say Anarchist if you plan to focus on explosives, Scrapper if you want more options for building and fighting. 

Damian considered that for a long moment then said, Okay, thanks. That was a big help.

He touched the interface and selected Scrapper. 

DCC: Spellblade

Megan settled back to select her class. She'd already decided to remain human; she liked her body as it was. Plus, all her best fighting moves were practiced for her being this shape and size, and gaining a few ability points here or there wasn't going to change much. No, she'd discussed it with the other students and the general consensus was that they were going to remain human. None of them had asked Mr. Grey or Ms. Mills, and neither of their teachers had asked them either. She suspected that Mr. Grey was simply leaving them to make their own choices, while Ms. Mills was... probably exercising considerable restraint by not sharing an opinion. Two very different approaches, but they worked together when it counted and that had carried them all through so far. 

The dungeon offered a very wide selection, but it had selected a Top Three for her, as it apparently did for everyone else.

Flexible Specialist
Master melee combat at relatively close range, disarm or trip up opponents, and slash up opponents with whips, lashes, rope-darts, or flails. Use those same skills to tame wild beasts and possibly opponents as well. Adds the Disarm, Dodge, and Trip skills at +2 from existing skills, and generally pull off some Zorro-level shit by way of a +3 to Acrobatics skill and a +4 to Two-Weapon Fighting. 

She considered that, but only for a moment. It looked to be almost pure melee, and she was fighting with a mix of melee and magic. She wanted something more versatile than that. 

Spellblade
(blade not required) Mix melee and magic, and make them work together. Add one additional weapon at skill level 4, an unarmed fighting style also at level 4, and extend the range on your existing targeted spells. Learn to deflect incoming spells, starting with a level 3 ranking, and bind your existing spells to your melee attacks. Includes a free membership in the Spell of the Month club.

Okay, that sounded much better. Even the first two levels -- the so-called tutorials -- had convinced her that she needed to find a balance between having a focus and retaining enough versatility to survive. The Youth Unleashed was a large enough group that they could afford to specialize, but it was still within limits. The dungeon seemed just determined to pick that kind of setup apart. So they specialized, but cautiously -- making sure they could still take care of themselves, as well as each other. 

She looked at the third recommendation. 

Battlemage
Focus on attack, defense, and counterspells while retaining the ability to hold your own in direct, physical combat: +4 to Light, Medium, and Heavy Armor skills, Sword and Greatsword skills, +3 to Shape Spell and Extend Spell skills, and access to the Battle Spell Book Club.

She didn't need that. It was more magic than she was using, and the melee was obviously intended to be a fallback once the magics were exhausted. No, this wasn't really even a question. She selected the entry for Spellblade and locked it in. 

DCC: Night Elves

Hey, Tourmaline? 

Tourmaline Jones switched her attention from the menu in front of her, to the message from Damian Petr, who was maybe her boyfriend now. She wasn't entirely sure, and she didn't think he was, either. The Dungeon hadn't left them a lot of time to talk about it. But as they were drifting off to sleep the previous night, she'd asked him to let her know what he was choosing for a race, if he could. Hey, Damian. How's it coming?

I think I'm going to go with Night Elf for my race. Good stats, works well with what I'm doing, and looks pretty cool. You have that one available?

Tourmaline found it in her Top Three Recommended Races. Yes. One of my top three, according to the Dungeon. 

Mine, too. He hesitated, then sent, You know if you take it, we'll still be at risk of... 

I know. We'll just have use protection if we ever get that far. It's a good thing you keep getting those Perv boxes. She knew, all right. Omar the Djinn had told them: Crawler races couldn't crossbreed under normal circumstances. But if both of them became Night Elves, it should keep the possibility open. 

Not that she had any intention of having a baby. She wasn't even sure about having sex, honestly, even with Damian. Part of what had drawn her to him was that he was bold, direct, and outspoken where she was nervous, cautious, and quiet. On top of that, she was fifteen, and trapped with a bunch of her schoolmates in a dungeon that was trying very hard to kill them. But if they somehow survived all this and managed to reach adulthood, she thought Damian was the one she was most likely to want to have children with. They balanced each other out.

Night Elf, she decided, and made the selection. She just caught of glimpse of Damian confirming Night Elf before the world faded out around her.

Behind again...

This past weekend was a lot. Fun, enjoyable, but just a bunch of things going on. Which means, among other things, that it basically burned through the time I'd normally use to write stuff for the Blog o' Doom here and schedule it to go up. And, like, I knew this event was coming, I just hadn't realized it was coming Now until it landed on us. We also did our early voting -- which Firstborn drove back to town for and Secondborn kept insisting that she should vote in, even though she's still a minor. (I explained to her that no, we didn't do things like that; you only do voting fraud if you're a Republican.) Crotchstomper was so happy to see Firstborn that he nearly jumped up in front of me and lived up to his name. 

So. 

Yesterday wound up being a sick day, which then turned into a dealing-with-automobiles-that-don't-want-to-cooperate day, which then turned into an okay-I-got-that-much-done-go-home-eat-and-collapse day. Meanwhile I've been stuffy as hell, to the point where I'm wondering if I picked up a cold or something worse. (I am up to date on my shots, at least.) Today is my usual Work From Home day, but I've warned people that I'm taking it easy and may be a little slow to respond. 

We've passed the one-year anniversary of my Dad's death -- a while back, actually -- which was, y'know, fun. (NARRATOR VOICE: It was not fun.) Not sure how I feel about this. Dad's wife... my Stepmother, I guess? ...is still pretty raw about it, but no surprise there. (I went over on Friday and helped her set up a new work computer; the screen on the old one is in the process of dying and basically isn't showing the left half anymore.) 

All in all, there've been some frustrations, some definite rewards, and a certain amount of work that I hope will ease back off soon. Keep the faith, friends: it never rains but that it pours, but the storm does pass on eventually.

RoH: Aftermath of a Duel

Remant cleaned his blade on Sir Dominic's cloak, then sheathed it and came back over to his Steward. For a moment, he just stopped to study Talaric Reville; then he nodded. "Talaric Reville?"

 The undead former Viscount Durzen nodded. "Firstborn of his father, and now grown into an honorable man." He sounded proud. 

Remant sighed. "I wish this could have been otherwise," he told the young man -- who was younger than him, despite how much they looked the same age. 

Talaric swallowed. "I wish my father had dealt with you honorably," he said, "or merely conceded his ambitions."

Remant nodded. "You are your father's heir, now. Are you prepared for that?"

"Of course not," said Talaric. "First of all, it's at the King's discretion. Second, while you've slain most of his... loyalty-before-honor soldiers, I'll still have to sort out the rest. Third, somewhere in there I'll have to negotiate an advantageous marriage, and I have no idea how to even begin with that."

Remant laughed. "I'll recommend you to the king," he said, and watched as the younger man's eyes widened. "If you need help with some of the... troops... talk to Dirimant, here. He has experience that I simply don't, and seems inclined to help you."

The dead man nodded. "Indeed I am. If you had been born ten years earlier, I would have pressed for a match with my daughter, and much of this might have been avoided. As it stands, despite your father's... mistakes... I am still prepared to consider you a family friend. You would be welcome at the manor, and I can help you with the more troublesome remnants of your father's legacy."

Talaric swallowed. "Thank you, Sir. I am..." He looked at Remant. "You're certain you can have the king pass the knighthood on to me?" He shook his head. "I'm not even sure I want it."

Remant chuckled. "That's a very good place to approach it from."