MV: More Questions, More Answers

Carol was back fifteen minutes or so later. "Sorry," she said. "Usually they're better prepared for this."

"So this was... some kind of court-ordered thing for him?" asked Andy. 

The older woman nodded. "Yeah. Sometimes it's a way to work off a prison sentence, but people can also volunteer to do it meet community service requirements. We also have some people like Loida, who volunteer. But usually, by the time they get to us they've done this a few times before. I'm not sure how Gautam slipped through net on that, but... you handled it pretty well. Thank you."

Andy managed to shrug; his restraints didn't prevent that. "If I look anything like the thing that killed me, I can see why he'd be scared."

"How'd it go this time?" 

"Control was a lot easier this time. The hunger didn't try to run riot, and the beast just watched." He felt like an absolute lunatic saying that out loud, but Carol just nodded. "I think," he added cautiously, "that the hunger doesn't see touch as an invitation to feed unless I grab something, and the beast realized what I was doing and didn't feel the need to push it further."

"Huh," Carol said thoughtfully. "Do you think it would let me look inside your head now?"

Andy raised his eyebrows. "I'm not a psychic, but I wouldn't risk it."

"All right." She studied him for a long moment. "Listen, for whatever it's worth, I'm sorry this happened to you."

Andy nodded uncomfortably at that, because, well... he didn't care how she felt about it. She wasn't the one who'd woken up dead, learned that his girlfriend was dead, and been told that his family thought he was dead. Her sympathy might be well-meant, but it was useless. "Would you do me a favor?" he asked. 

"What kind of favor?"

"Turn on the TV. Find a channel with, I don't know, action movies. Mindless explosions."

"Oh." Carol's face went still. "Sure." She rose, found the remote, and turned on the television. It took a few tries to find a channel where a car chase was going on, but she managed. "Anything else?"

Andy shook his head, and she left his hospital room again.  

MV: Second Feeding

"Andy?" 

He came back out of the emptiness slowly, and found that he was still in the hospital bed, still on his back. It should have been miserably uncomfortable -- he must have gone hours without rolling over -- but apparently now that he was dead, his body didn't care. His restraints were still in place, of course. 

When he blinked and opened his eyes, Carol had returned. With her was a dark-skinned young man with black hair buzzed close to his head, and features that -- upon reflection -- were probably middle-eastern. "Oh," he said. "You're back. Hi."

"Andy, this is Gautam."

Gautam looked nervous, his shock just starting to shade over into terror. 

"Hi," Andy said again, looking at Gautam. "It's okay. I'm tied down; I can't hurt you."

"You... you can talk?" Gautam swallowed. He was young, probably close to Andy's age. "I mean, of course you... What...?"

Carol said, "Andy is what we call a wight. He looks the way he does right now because he hasn't fed enough to change it. Your job here is to give him just enough energy to help him along."

"...And that's going to knock ten hours off of my community service." Gautam swallowed. "Not lying, I was kind of hoping for a vampire girl, maybe even a succubus."

Carol shook her head and sighed. "Look, I won't force you to do this if you don't want to. But if you want to get your hours out of the way, this is a quick way to get it done."

Gautam hesitated, then turned to look at Carol. "And he won't kill me, or turn me into... that?" 

"Scout's honor," said Andy, though he'd quit the Boy Scouts in eighth grade.

"Well... okay. What do I have to do?" 

"Put your hand in his," Carol said matter-of-factly, "let him drain you for a minute, and then you get to walk out with ten hours off your sentence."

"Wait," said Andy. "He's nervous, and if we're being honest I am too. It seems like it's easiest for me to feed through the palms of my hands, but is that the only way? If I'm supposed to be working on control, maybe he could put his hand on my forehead or something. I could try feeding that way, and I wouldn't be able to grab his hand -- he could pull back any time."

Carol considered that. "All right. That's not... I mean, that's not usual, and it might not work, but we can try it."

Gautam looked relieved, but still approached the bed with slow, cautious footsteps. Andy stayed very, very still as the other boy stopped beside him. "Thanks, man. How long've you been like this?"

"Not sure," Andy told him. "A couple of days, I think."

"Sucks for you," Gautam said, but there was genuine sympathy in his voice. "All right. No more stalling. I'm doing this."

Andy took hold of his hunger, but this time it didn't surge at the touch of a living hand. Come to think of it, it hadn't when Carol had put a hand on his shoulder earlier, either. Interesting. He reached out with it, found the connection to Gautam's hand, and let it pull in a little of... he wasn't sure. Heat? Glow? Life? He kept it slow, controlled. 

"Ah. Cold," said Gautam, but he kept his hand in place. 

The beast stirred in the back of Andy's mind, but this time it was content to sit and watch. This wasn't the kind of feeding it knew, but it still recognized it as feeding. Better... It was easier this time, or maybe it was just easier this way. 

"That's enough," Carol said gently.  

"Okay, I'm going to try to stop now," Andy said. "Pull your hand away if I can't."

He pulled the hunger back, and Gautam removed his hand. "Huh," he said. "All right, that wasn't too bad. Not like I was expecting."

"Right, well, good luck," Andy told him. "And thanks."

Gautam hesitated. "Yeah, you too." 

MV: The Dreams of a Newborn Monster

With the grownups gone, Andy let himself sink back into a sort of dismal darkness which wasn't sleep as he'd known it, but wasn't wakefulness either. Peaceful numbness enfolded him, and he rested there for a timeless time...

Something was hunting him, stalking him through a barren, stony landscape beneath a dark and starless sky. It was the beast, restless and hungry, barely glimpsed as he twisted and turned, trying to elude it. Too late for that, he knew with dreaming certainty: it had his scent, and no matter how he crossed and re-crossed his own trail through the twisted stone shapes it still drew closer. Finally he turned, hearing a soft step behind him, and saw a pair of gleaming eyes and the curve of one long fang just emerging from the shadow of  rock. 

No. He shoved the dream away, and fell back into gray nothingness. 

This time he was standing on a hilltop with the beast at his side, overlooking the blasted, cracked landscape. In the distance there were two small structures of dark stone, rising above twisted stone and winding trails. One, he knew, was a mausoleum -- a resting place with only a single occupant. The other was a cenotaph. 

No. He pushed that dream away, too, swam free of it, and sank back into formlessness. 

He was home again, back in his own house, logy with fear as he tried to drag Amy away before it could happen. They were out of the living room, down the short hall to the kitchen... Behind them, he heard the front door give way with a massive CRACK! and shatter inwards. If they could make it outside... 

He threw open the back door, and Amy screamed.

The back yard was gone, replaced by that barren wasteland of twisted stone shapes. Behind them, the noises in the living room suddenly fell silent, then began again as an avalanche of varied steps racing their way. The kitchen went dark, lights flickering and giving way, and Andy tried to fling Amy outside and slam the door shut behind her. 

He was a heartbeat too late. No. Something caught her, hauled her back. No. He spun around and a pale, skinless hand was reaching for his face. No! 

Darkness, again.

EPIC Dreams!

I fear I've lost some of the details, but I had this completely awesome dream last night... In retrospect, it's a bit less coherent than it was at the time, but with a bit of spackle and some duct tape it fits together just fine. 

Stage One was venturing out in the wake of some sort of disaster to get people to safety. A bridge had collapsed, or maybe exploded, so being unharmed and on a bicycle let me get people out of immediate danger to where emergency services -- or what was left of them -- could triage them, or just move the relatively intact ones back to the safe area. 

Stage Two was trying to move around in this kind of post-disaster setting, which meant switching over to gathering batteries -- very sci-fi looking batteries -- moving quietly to avoid threats. Somewhere in there I stumbled across a big alien spider-monster just as some bad guys -- raiders? enemy soldiers? alien invaders? -- caught up with me from behind, with the result that I decided that getting out from between them was the priority, and ran away. 

Which promptly turned into a hoverbike chase scene, and somewhere in the middle switched over to Stage Three.

Stage Three was full-on video-game mechanics, where I had to remember how to swap weapons, reload, return fire, etc... all while racing back to the safe area from Stage One. Definite learning curve even in the dream, but it was very cool. I even remember halfway-waking up long enough to think that I'd have play more of this later on, and then being kind of pissed that the game doesn't actually exist in real life. 

All of which was a vast improvement over the dream from a week or so earlier, where "my family" -- not actually my family, just a bunch of random people who were my family in the dream -- had gone to a sort of waterpark/nature preserve... where they (we) murdered somebody for some inheritance. And of course one of the cousins screwed something up, and had to hide a body on the fly instead of disposing of it as planned. 

This led to the nightmare sequence when I'd realized that the body had been found, there were investigators on the scene, and I was trying to grab my stuff and get off the property. Meanwhile my "parents" were insisting that everybody needed to stay calm and act normal and the cops definitely wouldn't figure out what had happened. And then getting out was incredibly difficult, since the park perimeter was blocked off, as were the areas around the rides, and... yeah. All for a murder that I hadn't wanted to be involved with in the first place. 

MV Secondary: Evaluation and Consensus

"Okay," said Steve, when the three of them were safely down in a small meeting room two floors away from the patient. "What do we think so far?"

"Any word on the rogues?" asked Carol. "I'd love to know more about where he came from."

Steve shook his head. "Not yet. We have two field teams after them, but we think between what they did to those two kids they had enough oomph to disguise themselves as regular humans and throw off our pursuit. It didn't help that the local cops tried to move in without our support."

"I think he's sweet," Loida said. "Did you see how concerned he was about hurting me? And when he got scared about his control, he called it."

Carol nodded slowly. "That thing in his head worries me, but if he was modulating his hunger and holding it back, he must have a will like iron. It might balance out."

"Yeah," said Steve after a moment. "That was kind of how he struck me when I was questioning him. Self-possessed, controlled, cautious." He shook his head. "I fucking hate wights, but he might actually be able to keep it under control."

"I have two younger brothers," Loida said thoughtfully. "Vas was eager to learn to drive. He wanted to go places, visit people, see what he could do. Anton was terrified of the idea of being in charge of a multi-ton vehicle, and only learned to drive because our father forced him to. You want to guess which one totaled a car in the first nine months, and which one went three full years before he even got into a fender-bender, which wasn't his fault? ...This kid reminds me of Anton." She yawned. 

"I'd still like it better if I could get a feel for his mind," Carol said, then sighed. "But if I had to evaluate him right now, I'd mark him down as 'take precautions, but go ahead and integrate him'." 

Steve nodded. "Thank you both. It's too early to make recommendations, but I'm grateful for the feedback." 

MV: A First Success

"He's really never done this before?" Loida asked, massaging her hand as she looked at Carol. 

"Nope," answered Andy. "Sorry."

She looked down at him. "Don't be. For your first time out, your control was excellent."

"I'm told it gets easier," Steve assured him. 

"Why did you tell us to stop?" asked Carol, studying him suspiciously. 

"It... moved. That thing you woke up. Started to come out. I couldn't manage both, so..."

Steve was staring down at him, but looked away when Andy tried to meet his eyes. 

The room seemed brighter, now; the noises in the hallway outside clearer. 

"You look better," the hunter said after a moment. "Maybe only a fifty-year-old corpse, and you've got some skin back." 

I've got some skin back? What does that mean? Andy swallowed. "So, um... what now?"

Steve hesitated, then said: "I won't shit you, kid. This is going to be a process. It's going to take time to get yourself back under control... though in your case, maybe not as long as some others. Right now, we need to get you through the change, and show you as much as we can of the basics. Once you're back on your feet, so to speak, we have some facilities -- more like schools -- where you can practice controlling any other abilities you develop. After that, well... you'll finally have some decisions to make about what to do next."

That... didn't sound unreasonable. But... "And my family?" He swallowed. "Can I see them? Or rather, can they see me?"

Steve looked at Carol, who actually laid a hand on Andy's shoulder. Andy kept the hunger firmly in check and focused on whatever she was about to say. 

"You died," she said simply. "That's what happened, and that's what we told them. We didn't mention that you came back like this. Maybe, at some point, you can tell them -- but you also need to think about whether or not you should. Between anti-supernatural prejudice, grief, and the dangers of trying to reunite newly-turned monsters who might not be able to control themselves with the people closest to their hearts, well... letting the family mourn and move on is often the better path."

Andy took a long, long moment before he answered that. When he did, he said, "All right. Thank you for just... telling me." He watched as they filed uncomfortably out of the room.

He wondered if he should have been crying, but all he felt was empty.  

MV: Patient Care

He wasn't sure how long he'd been lying there when the curtain was swept back again, and a pair of women entered. Both were wearing scrubs and nametags, though from this angle Andy couldn't read either of them. 

"Hi," said the older one, smiling. "I'm Carol, and this is Loida." 

Carol was, at a guess, somewhere around his mother's age: a grownup, sandy blonde and wearing glasses; her voice was warm and her expression concerned. Loida occupied a more nebulous territory, a few years older than he was but but still young and pretty enough for Andy to think of Amy and feel a pang of guilt for finding her attractive. She was dark-haired and olive-skinned, with her hair tied back into a ponytail. She met his eyes and nodded, and he hurriedly looked back to Carol. 

"Andy," he said. 

Carol held her smile. "We're part of your care and rehabilitation team. Our job is to help you adjust to your new condition."

He wasn't honestly sure he wanted care, at this point. Amy was dead, and he might as well be. It might be better for everyone if he was dead -- less danger to everyone around him. After a moment he said, "Okay."

"Now, the way this works is that I'm going to monitor your mental state, and Loida is going to take your hand long enough for you to feed on her just a little bit."

Andy recoiled, jerking back against the restraints, and a half-second later the big hunter came through the curtain, eyes finding him immediately. 

Carol held up a hand. "It's okay, Steve. He wasn't trying to hurt us."

"You want me to feed on her," Andy said, half-strangled with revulsion. "Won't that hurt her?" He looked at Loida. "Hurt you?"

"Not if you're careful," Loida said, in a surprisingly husky voice. "It's like donating blood. I can spare a little, and I'll recover and be just fine."

A little shiver went through him. He was hungry, though the sensation wasn't centered in his stomach. It was a coldness through his entire body. "That... I don't know."

"You really should," said Carol. "You'll feel better, be more in control. And you need to learn how to do this -- now, while we can keep you from hurting anybody." 

Andy forced himself to relax. "Fine." 

"Good. Now, I'm going to..." 

He felt a faint touch against his awareness, a sensation he would never have imagined possible. Then something stirred in the back of his mind, and the touch vanished. Carol took a quick step back. "Okay, that might be a problem."

"What?" asked the big hunter, whose name was apparently Steve.

"There's something else in his mind. Another presence."

"His maker?"

"I don't think so. It felt more like... a second self. Feral."

Steve scowled, stepped gracefully around Loida, then bent down and -- of all things -- sniffed at Andy's exposed arm. He hesitated, then straightened. "No," he said. "He's a wight."

"Yes, well, then he's a wight who might very well tear my mind apart if I try to touch his thoughts again." Carol looked down at Andy. "Can you feel it?"

"I didn't," he said. "Until you did... whatever you did, I didn't. I think you woke it up." He could feel it moving around in the back of his mind, prowling, impatient. 

"How does it feel to you?" she asked gently. 

Andy hesitated. "Ravenous. Ravening. I don't... I don't know if I want to be in here with it."

Carol turned back to Steve, eyebrows raised. He shrugged and stepped to the side, circling to move the metal cart out of the way so he could stand beside Andy's bed. "Then we do this the hard way, I guess." He looked down at Andy, still strapped firmly in place. "You seem like a good kid, kid. Can you keep control while you feed?"

Within his restraints, Andy managed to shrug. "Can you pull her loose if I can't, old man?"

Loida -- of all people -- huffed a laugh. "Let's get this over with." She came around to stand beside Steve, then put her hand in his. She didn't hesitate, and she didn't flinch; if she found his body loathesome, she didn't show it at all. 

"Okay," said Carol, "Now, you're going to need to--" 

Too late. The hunger in his body knew its business; it came roaring open, eager to sate itself. Motherfucker! No. He forced it back, paused a moment to make sure he had a firm hold, then let it out in a trickle. 

Loida stiffened slightly, but made no effort to draw back. "Good," she said. "Just like that."

Andy didn't answer. The thing in the back of his mind had suddenly reared up, and he had his hands full holding it back while restraining the hunger as well. It didn't really fight him, but he kept a metaphorical hand on it, telling it to stay calm, stay back... 

"Stop," he tried to say, and he must have gotten the word out because Loida broke contact immediately. The thing, the beast in his mind, circled and then padded away to curl up somewhere in the back of his head; he could almost feel it moving. It felt... disappointed.

Turning his attention outward, he drew a deep, shuddering breath that did his body no good whatsoever. That sense of filling his lungs with oxygen was simply gone, along with the comfort it had once provided. "Almost," he said, then let some air back out so he could speak instead of wheeze. "Almost lost it."