In a world of contests, one winner will emerge

Ladies, Gentlemen, and sundry sentients of all shapes and sizes, a clear winner has emerged in Movie Guy Voice contest:

In a world plagued with weeds, pestilence and varmints one woman undauntingly faces her foes to emerge victorious if not notorious!
THE WEEKEND WARRIOR PRINCESS
Starring D'Ma
Spending hours each Saturday mowing her own damn grass!

D'Ma, if you'll let me know the best way to send you your prize (e-mail and Facebook seem to be the simplest options), I'll speed it on its way. Drop me a line at michael mock {a} mockwriting-dot-com. (I assume you can translate that back into a real e-mail address; meanwhile, I blow raspberries at the spambots in the audience.)

I'm a little disappointed at the lack of responses - I know there are a lot of bright, funny people who read this blog - so if anyone has feedback or constructive criticism for how to make any future contests more appealing, feel free to comment. (Or, if Blogger dislikes you leaving comments, send an e-mail to the address above.)

Blogging will be light and random this week, but my busy season is almost over. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I can see edge of the forest up ahead...

Movie Guy Voice

In honor of yesterday's paean to Newt Gingrich, and in particular D'Ma's suggestion that "Newt Gingrich" should be spoken in Movie Guy Voice, I'm proposing a contest. Write your own satiric movie tagline, in the following format:

In a world ________________________________, One Man will ___________________________.

So, for example:

In a world where the Literati enforce their will with gun-toting sheep, one man will stand firm to protect the country he is destined to lead.
The Bulletproof Ego
Starring Newt Gingrich
Coming this fall to a theater near you.

The prize will be... How 'bout a $20 Amazon gift certificate? Sure, why not. I can do that. Plus, it'll give you guys something to do while I'm inundated by the Big Local Music Festival.

I'll judge the entries and select a winner on Monday (May 23, 2011). Enter as many times as you want.

Addendum: Newt does NOT have to be the topic of your satire. Go after anything that seems a likely target. You might want to include a link to give the rest of us context, though.

I won't be posting tomorrow - too busy - but I do have a post scheduled to go up on Saturday morning, just in time for Judgement Day. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, for those of you who aren't up for a bit of creative writing: