Monday, July 18, 2011

Getting back to martial arts

Having children has been a terrible influence on my martial arts training (which is, I admit, somewhat erratic even at the best of times). But now that the boys are getting older, I'm looking at getting back into it. This, of course, presents the same question that it always does: given my age, activity level, and the growing danger of the total collapse of civilization, which martial art would be the best for me?

So far, I'm considering:
(Warning: martial arts can be violent and uncouth, so some of these videos may not be safe for work.)

1. Kabumei

KABUMEI -- The Art of the Sharpened Grenade from Detonation Films on Vimeo.

(Clearly a very effective art, but not without its dangers. Also, kind of... splattery.)

2. Gun Fu

(A truly modern martial art, but possibly too noisy to use against the zombie hordes.)

3. Bench Fighting

(The only difficulty here is the necessity of carrying around a largish bench in case someone attacks you. Not recommended for joggers.)

4. Dancing Finger Style Kung Fu

(Clearly a devastating unarmed fighting style, but one that requires you to dress oddly and make strange noises.)

As you can see, there's a lot to consider, here. Which one do you think I should try? Are there any other possibilities I should look into?


  1. I'll speak for the Beautiful Wife here and strongly vote down Kabumei. You have two children to raise, so risking life and limb are out.

    Gun Fu is quite noisy, so if you are planning to fight off more than one assailant (Zombies) it's probably not a good option.

    Bench Fighting seems a bit conspicuous. If Zombies see you approaching carrying a bench I think they might be onto you.

    Dancing Finger Style Kung Fu seems to be your best option as you could perform that variety dressed in street clothes. It's the least conspicuous. You can say "F you" wearing just about anything! Just beware of the New House Rules.

  2. Ooh, good point. I hadn't consider the incidental expenses involved in Flying Finger Style Kung Fu.

  3. Lol D'Ma gives good advice! So tell us how many trips to Target have been made since the New House Rules?

  4. Just the one, though Theron really should have won another one today. (And he did, sort of, but it got subsumed into a general Being Good and Helpful prize, for reasons which I'll explain in a new post.)


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