Friday, March 1, 2013

Firstborn's February Journal

Journals are something that Firstborn is doing at school. (He's in first grade.) They're basically a set of pages where the kids write brief stories or thoughts, usually based on some sort of writing prompt, and then draw pictures to go along with them. When they're done, the journals go home so the parents can... appreciate them. I appreciated this one so much that I'm going to share it with the rest of you. With comments. For your general edification and personal improvement.

My February Journal

1. I like February because of zombies. Who doesn't?

2. The groundhog saw his shadow in the zombie dark. I don't know what zombie dark is, but I bet I'd go back down in my hole, too.

3. I love it when plants grow. Presumably because they help protect us from the zombies.

4. Happy 100 (little picture of a skull, superset) day of school. If Firstborn got to name this as a holiday, I rather imagine it would be Zombie Day.

5. If I had a monkey, he would be a zombie. Zombie monkey!

6. Today is our field trip. I hope I see trees and zombies. I'm good with trees, but if we're being honest I hope you don't see any zombies. Unless it's a field trip to the Zombie Zoo. That would be okay, if a little... Petty.

7. My favorite animal is a scorpion. (and a zombie) Yes, he actually used parentheses. Also, the drawing of the scorpion has the word "snap!" in the picture, next to one of the claws.

8. My valentine is cool and has a drawn gun on it and it looks daungeres! "Daungeres" is actually the word "dangerous". I think Firstborn is using the French spelling.

9. Yesterday I went to mousum. That would actually be a museum. Presumably there weren't any zombies.

10. This one is a jumble of numbers set up for addition. Like this:
25 50
+25 +50
+25 +50
+25 +50
___ ___
100 200
...Except that all the zeroes are skulls. At the bottom, it says:
Zombie Math
Apparently zombie math is different from regular math. Maybe you only carry the one if you plan to eat its brain later?

11. The rain was so hard that it broke zombie town. Not, you understand, that zombie town has much in the way of building codes.

12. I am good when I'm in school. Well... mostly...

13. On my weekend I went to GG. In addition to zombies, the boy has a deep appreciation of Genghis Grill. He's even put a circle around the double Gs, to imitate the logo.

14. I put on a magic ring and I turned into a Phonix! I'm really torn. On the one hand, where was I when he turned into a phoenix? And why did he bother to change back? On the other hand, I can't help thinking: "Hooked on Phonix worked for me!"

15. When I get hurt, I get help. I'm pleased to hear it. Really, really pleased to hear it.

16. When I see a phenix I see a Vexx. That's my boy: king of the obscure PS2 game references!

I'm frankly amazed I don't get calls from his teacher more often.


  1. Obsessed with zombies, makes obscure gaming references and can correctly use parentheses for asides?! You, sir, have raised the coolest child ever. Congrats!

  2. Thanks! I think he's completely awesome - and his brother, too - but then I'm utterly shameless in my bias.

  3. Heh. I don't know that I'd even heard of zombies at his age.


  4. Yeah, well... one of these years I'll be doing a case study on the psychological effects of Plants vs. Zombies as a formative influence in early childhood.

    Actually, maybe not. Before zombies, it was "wingy monsters" - actually Winged Twilights. The boy caught me playing Morrowind one night, and for months afterwards, whenever I turned the game on he came and demanded that I summon things for his amusement.

  5. Why have a zombie monkey when you can be a zombie monkey?

  6. Zombie Monkey! But apparently Firstborn would rather turn into a phoenix. Which, as long as he does it outside, is fine. The rule is "No bursting into flames inside the house," after all.

  7. Wonder where he gets his obsession with zombies from? BTW, Loved your Zombie Zoo reference. :) Classic.

    You son appears to have an ... active imagination.

    I'm also certain that if my son were in the 1st grade and had written something similar there would be a worrying Angry Birds theme.

  8. I have no idea where he gets it from. It's all very mysterious, really.

  9. The school has an author fair every spring and fall, during which kids each get to pick two free books, and then can buy as many as they want and have them signed by the author(s). This year the boys had a lacrosse scrimmage, so it was just me and Angelina, but before we left she got her brothers, and a friend each a copy of "The Very Hungry Zombie" signed by both authors(with doodles, score!).

    So as we are leaving her best friend is coming in with her mother and grandmother, and we start talking and they ask Angelina what books she had bought and had signed.
    -3 copies of "The Very Hungry Zombie"
    -"Half-Minute Horrors"
    -"There Was An Old Monster"
    -"Silly Rhymes for Belligerent Children"
    -"The Girl’s Guide To Vampires: Everything Enchanting About These Immortal Creatures"
    -"Crooked Hills: Book One"
    -"Professor Gargoyle: Tales from Lovecraft Middle School"
    (bonus cover photo of a principal turned demon, horns and all!)

    Judging by how quickly the conversation ended, and the looks they kept giving us over their shoulders as they left, she may not be spending the night as often... :(

  10. Too bad you guys aren't just a little closer to us - we could get the kids together for a zombie party!

    Also, yay for doodles!

    1. I know! I was just talking to Mich about Possibly going to the next Texas Snopes meet, as I've never went to one there, and we spend enough time in Austin that it's possible we would be there during(or have been in the past and didn't realize it). I never thought about the fact that there might be one that happens there too, until I got bored the other night and remembered I hadn't checked your page in at least a year. I enjoy your stories, so from time to time I check it out, and noticed the pics from the meet. I usually only pay attention to East Coast meets, except 2 small impromptu meets on vacation.

      I love it when illustrators and authors leave doodles with their autograph, or on an included paper! We have a ton of great ones, but if you are into this too Neil Flambe, Alex Kosowicz, Chad Frye, and Flatline(he refers to himself as an illustrator, but he really does small art pieces to me, as they aren't seemingly meant to convey or accompany a story, but brilliant, brilliant, utterly brilliant pieces) are definitely ones to look into, if you get the chance to run into them at reading/signing events or cons!

      Maurice Sendak and Antonio Frasconi were the BEST, but sadly you would not be able to get a personalized doodle anymore(but even an ebay or similar type 'used' doodle would be pretty cool). Luckily my children were also able to get ones from Maurice, I have one from each.


    Flatline also has an Etsy now.

    1. ...and he is a she. Even cooler some how. She never used her real name or photos on either blog, or imgur, but she did take requests, so you could message her if you wanted something specific, I sorta did this, not specific so much as gave her a general idea of Micah's interests. Good to catch up with your writing though. Take care!


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