Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Paradox Wrapped in a Tautology

Okay, so apparently the world is set to end on May 21, 2011.

I will tell you right now that I haven't read the whole site. I didn't even make it past the first section. Specifically, this section:
Now, at this time, information is coming forth from the Bible which clearly reveals God’s plan for Judgment Day and the end of the world itself. The Bible has opened up its secrets concerning the timeline of history. This information was never previously known because God had closed up His Word blocking any attempt to gain knowledge of the end of the world.
...
God is now opening up His Word because we have arrived at the time of the end. For this reason, it has become very obvious to the serious student of the Bible that we are now living in the last few days of earth’s history.


Which is just... my brain hurts. Finally, we can know for sure that it's the end of the world! We can know this at last because it's the end of the world! Previously, we didn't know when the end of the world would come... because it hadn't come yet!

I'm sure there's plenty more snark-worthy material on that site, but my brain can only take so much. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done: reading that left me picturing a scene from a particularly surreal time-travel story...

Elderly Professor: "Just remember not to go too far. If you reach the end of the world, you're sure to be destroyed."

Brave Young Adventurer: "How will I know if I've reached the end of the world?"

Elderly Professor: "You can't know that until the world ends."

Brave Young Adventurer: "You're not actually much help, are you?"

Elderly Professor: "Hey! I built this time machine!"

Brave Young Adventurer: "That you're sending me out to explore in..."

Elderly Professor: "I've given you the chance to explore all of History!"

Brave Young Adventurer: "Except I can't go back in time, because you're afraid I'll change something."

Elderly Professor: "You can witness THE FUTURE!"

Brave Young Adventurer: "...Where I'll be destroyed without warning if the world ends sooner than expected."

Elderly Professor: "..."

Elderly Professor: "Oh, just bring back something that will make us rich, will you?"

Brave Young Adventurer: "Now you're talking."

4 comments:

  1. That's some seriously screwy thinking....

    I can't wait to see the looks on the faces of the people who believe this sort of thing on Mat 21 when nothing in particular happens. Didn't the Bible state that this sort of thing is unknowable? I might be wrong.

    I think in the spirit of the official end of the world (TM) I'll play REM's "Its the end of the world as we know it" all day.

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  2. If anybody asks, claim that it's a Christmas carol.

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