Listen up, everyone. This is your new Emperor. To celebrate my successful world conquest, I am introducing a new law. You will find it just and humane - yes, that's an order. Henceforth, anyone who cannot reliably park their cartoonishly oversized truck or SUV will be required to trade it in for something smaller. This process will continue until your transportation consists of something that you can park inside the lines of a parking space, every time. I realize that some of you will be reduced to driving skateboards, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make. If you fail to comply with this fair and generous new law, I will set my zombies on you.
That is all. Honor and Glory to the Mock Empire!