Ride My Giant Lizard

In the carpool line with Firstborn this morning:

Firstborn: "I still want a giant lizard."

Me: "Many men do." Pause. "So you could ride it to school?"

Firstborn: "Yes."

Me: "You'd have to take it to the riding-lizard stables around the back of the school, though. And Giant Lizard Food is expensive. I mean, you can raise your own herd of giant bugs, but you'd need somewhere to keep them. And you have to watch them closely to make sure they don't chew through the fence."

Firstborn: "But the giant lizard would still have a sticky tongue!"

Me: "Oh, yes. Feeding the lizard wouldn't be a problem. It's just buying the food, or herding the giant bugs for him to eat. Have you ever tried to herd giant insects? It's really hard."

Firstborn: "And if there was a robbery, I could just tell the lizard to drop its tail. Then the police could walk up to robbers and just say, 'You're under arrest.' And their car would be like a jail. If it was all crunched up, it wouldn't even be able to drive anymore."

Me: "Good plan. I'm sure the police would appreciate the help."

Firstborn: "That's what I thought, too."

So now I want a giant riding lizard, too. Quick! To the Mad Science Lab!