Thursday, March 15, 2012

My First Girlfriend

When I was in sixth grade, I asked Alese Watson, who was in fifth grade at the time, if she would go out with me. I didn't ask her myself, of course; this was a time when it was socially acceptable, even expected, to have someone else act as a go-between. So I sent word that I'd like to go out with her, and she sent word back that she agreed.

We went out for about a week. Then she sent a go-between to tell me that she was breaking up with me. Why? Because in that time, I hadn't actually spoken to her. This, I had to admit, seemed like a pretty reasonable justification. I mean, it simply hadn't occurred to me that I ought to be talking to her; but looking at it in hindsight, it seemed like a pretty normal expectation. So my response was basically, "Oh, okay. Sorry." And that was pretty much it.

True story.

Also, this is probably funnier if you've ever met me in person.


  1. This her?

  2. Not impossible. The degree to which Facebook enables casual stalking is more than a little disturbing, but that might actually be her. It's a bit hard to tell when you've been out of touch for a quarter of a century. She wasn't blond in fifth grade, but that doesn't mean much.

  3. Rest assured, even not knowing you in person, it's plenty funny. Similar things happened to a friend when we were in college, and her answer to "Do you have a boyfriend?" was "Ummmm..."


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