Monday, August 8, 2011

A bedtime story

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Hunter.

One day, Hunter was walking in the woods. While he was walking, he came upon a great big bear.

"I will eat you up," said the bear.

"I will bonk you if you try," said Hunter.

The bear tried to eat Hunter, but Hunter bonked the bear until it fell down.

A while later, Hunter came upon a huuuuuge snake.

"I will eat you up," hissed the snake.

"I will bonk you if you try," said Hunter.

The snake tried to eat Hunter, but Hunter bonked the snake until it fell down.

A while later, Hunter came upon a giant scorpion.

"If you try to eat me, I will bonk you," said Hunter.

"If you try to bonk me, I will sting you," said the giant scorpion.

"You don't want to eat me?" asked Hunter.

"You don't want to bonk me?" asked the scorpion.

"No," said Hunter.

"Then we should be friends," said the scorpion, and he gave Hunter a ride all the way back home, and Hunter arrived in time for dinner. Everyone was very glad to meet such a friendly scorpion, so they gave the scorpion dinner, too.

And they all lived happily ever after.


  1. Great story except every time I read Hunter I kept wanting to say Hefner. Maybe I watched too much Girls Next Door a few years back.

  2. I think it's a cute story. I never watched Girls Next Door. :)

    And what's the dealio with the flying piglets thingy?

  3. Flying piglets thingy? (Sorry, I don't actually watch TV - at least, not until the shows hit DVD.)

    Hunter is a pseudonym for Firstborn, of course. It just scanned better than putting "Firstborn" in the story. Naturally I used his real name when I told it to him.

  4. I think maybe I'm hittin' the caffeine a little too hard. Or maybe I should be drinking something a little harder than coffee. I could have sworn there was a link here that you posted to some ottowa atheist website, where there were pics of flying piglets.

  5. Oh, I think that was dmab spamming the blog. Our Host seems to have deleted it.

  6. Oh, the link seems to have been to dmab spamming that atheist site too(actually, I think was a skeptic site, not an atheist site, not that he distinguishes).

  7. Oh! Yeah, that was probably it. There's a fellow who drops by every once in a while to... um... "comment" just doesn't seem like the right word. "Rant" is probably more apt. He must visit more often than I thought, because once I re-allowed anonymous comments, he started leaving his droppings again within a couple of days.

    And no, he doesn't particularly distinguish between atheists, skeptics, liberal Christians, and anyone else he happens to disagree with.

  8. The fact that he's spammed Slacktivist is pretty good evidence that he doesn't distinguish. Going to block anonymous comments again?

  9. He certainly knows how to win friends and influence people.

  10. @ Rhoadan - not unless I start getting a lot more junk comments than I'm getting right now. As a general rule, I prefer to keep it as easy as possible to post, and clean up anything that shouldn't be here.

    There's a point where that becomes more trouble than it's worth, of course, but we're not there yet.

    @ D'Ma - Best to mention him as little as possible, really.


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