Dark Armor: The Champion of Marinul V2

This is the second version I'm writing of this scene. I liked the first version well enough for itself, but it didn't quite set me up for where I wanted to go after this. So, this is version two, and the one that's... official. (Congratulations! Now you see what an unholy mess my writing process is! Though honestly, I don't think this is really uncommon, it's just that when you read a published book all this sort of thing has already been ironed out...) If you want to compare, the two versions are identical right up until the first exchange of blows. The original version is here.

The figure that stood between the gates was tall and lean, wearing a suit of gleaming silver armor and holding a spear. The armor was impressively enchanted, though weaker than the suit that covered the Black Knight. The spear, however, was far more powerful than anything Pallian carried.  

The City of Marinul had equipped its champion with the Spear of the First.

"I offer challenge!" called the Champion of Marinul. "Will you accept?"

Pallian grinned inside his helm. The Black Knight nodded, and the Champion started forward. 

The Black Knight immediately loosed the ball of green flame from his hand, strong enough to shatter stone or splinter wood. The spear snapped up and across as if of its own accord, the long blade at its tip slicing the attack in two. The weapon whined as it cut through the sorcery, and the impact snapped the spearhead back behind the Champion's shoulder, causing him to stagger. 

That was about what Pallian had hoped for: it gave him the moment he needed to get his shield back on his arm. The Champion shook his head and started forward again, and this time the Black Knight came to meet him. 

The shield caught the first thrust, but it was a soft blow. The Champion -- or perhaps the spear itself -- was testing him. The Black Knight responded by lunging forward and slapping the tip of the spear aside with his shield. He cut down at the Champion's fingers, but missed as the man stepped back and spun, bringing the spear all the way around in massive, cleaving blow. The Black Knight dodged back as well, just in time to watch that ancient blade cut the air in front of his face. He had no doubt at all that the spear would have split his helmet had it connected. 

He was already moving in as the Champion pulled the swing in short, but the Champion moved back to match him, staying out of reach of his gauntlet sword. A quick jab of the speartip skipped off the bottom edge of the Black Knight's shield, but the Champion pulled it back before Pallian could try for a cut at his hand. I have to get in closer.

The Black Knight was designed to terrify Teregor's enemies by being relentless and indestructible, but the armor could move when it needed to. Launching off his back foot, Pallian lunged in with his sword extended, holding his shield in close. The spear lanced out, slapping his blade aside, and Pallian swung out with his shield. 

A thunderclap rolled over the battlefield. The Champion had caught the second blow across the midsection of the spear, but the magically-enhanced impact was still enough to send him flying back. He struck the heavy stones of the city wall with what should have been bone-shattering impact, but landed on his feet just in front of it. Either the spear was feeding him strength, or his armor had been enchanted against that sort of trick. 

Pallian was already charging forward, trying to finish the battle before the Champion of Marinul got his feet back under him. 

He was just a moment too late. 

The spear snapped up at the last minute, and the Champion, still kneeling, drove it into the Dark Knight's armor, just above his left knee. It tore through the enchanted black steel, the flesh and bone beneath, and the back of the armor as well. 

Inside his helm, Pallian screamed. It wasn't just the shock of the blow -- the pain hadn't even reached him, yet -- but a sort of shockwave that rippled out from it, trying to shatter his body in much the same way that he'd tried to shatter the champion against the wall. The armor groaned as its enchantments fought to contain the effect, and mostly succeeded. 

Then the spear pulled back out, dripping with his blood. 

The Black Knight was still upright, the armor strong enough to keep him on his feet and moving even with a hole punched right through his leg. The helm contained the sound of Pallian screaming, so that the Champion of Teregor appeared silent and indifferent to the injury. The Champion of Marinul hesitated for a bare moment, then attacked again. 

Pallian barely got his shield up before the spear stabbed through it. He was already twisting, trying to sweep the blow aside, and with the armor adding to his strength he managed to wrench the tip offline. Instead of piercing his heart, it sliced across his pauldron, opening a massive gash in the enchanted steel and scoring his shoulder. That horrible shockwave rolled through him again, and this time the armor groaned loudly enough to be heard atop the walls. 

But he was inside the length of the spear, and its tip was still tangled in his shield. With a desperate lunge, he threw himself onto the Champion of Marinul and drove the gauntlet sword through his chest. The Champion's armor wasn't anywhere near as strong as the Knight's, and the blade pierced it all the way through. Pallian called for levinfire and poured it out through the blade, watching with some satisfaction as waves of sparks rippled across the surface of the champion's armor. The Spear of the First lashed around, trying to free itself, but it was still caught and it was too late. By the time it ripped its way out of Pallian's shield, the Champion of Marinul had fallen to his knees. It struck him once across the back, but he was in too close for it to stab him, and the haft alone wasn't enough to damage him. The dark armor rang like churchbell, but that was all. 

Then the Champion lost his grip, and the spear rolled away. 

Pallian pulled the gauntlet sword out slowly, then shifted his shattered shield to his back. With his hand free, he lifted the champion's corpse... and then beheaded it, just to make sure.