EvilParty: Locating the Wherebear

That's a pun, because we haven't found the beast yet.

So we’re still trying to figure out who the werebear is, and we have no idea.

But we’ve met with the Mayor and most of the town by now, and we’ve left Chuck/Tim and Burhea/Tiny Tim upstairs while we go down to eat. Chuck is using the image projector and the ring of telekinesis to pretend to be downstairs with us.

Unfortunately, the priest Ilsinor decided to go up and check on Tiny Tim. Even more unfortunately, he quickly figured out that Tiny Tom was a vampire. Down in the common room, Big Tim looks to the side and says, “Shit.” He then appears to teleport away, leaving his beer hanging in the air.

Durest casually reaches out and takes it, then sets it on the table.

Innkeeper: “What just happened?”

Durest, bluffing: “His underbosses have ways of sending him messages. He probably had to go deal with an employee issue.”

Innkeeper: “But that was sorcery!”

Durest, puzzled: “Aye, he’s a sorcerer. And a trader. Gives him a great advantage in trade.”

“And you? Are you a sorcerer?”

Durest: “No, I’m a cleric.”

“Of whom?”

Durest: “Indra.”

Durest proceeds to explain about how we’re traders, and he’s this close to pulling it off when he giggles.

The innkeeper, very unreasonably, tells us to get out of her bar. Durest turns to go collect Chuck/Tim and finds himself nose to nose with the High Druid. “‘Tis a pleasure to meet you,” Durest says, “but it seems we’ve just been asked to leave the inn. D’ye mind if we collect our friends and go?”

“Why don’t we go see your friends together?”

Durest: “As ye wish.”

Meanwhile, upstairs, Tim/Chuck has dominated the priest, and is trying to figure out what to do with him. He tries Feeblemind, but the guy shrugs it off; he tries again, and succeeds. Chuck tries to teleport him down to the coffin, and on the third try he succeeds. He uses Dimension Door to get back, leaving the priest trapped in the dark. Chuck summons a new image, and has Tiny Tim get back in the armoire and stay silent. Tim, it seems, has scratched a message in the back of the armoire: “I am a vampire. I am being held here against my will. Save me.”

So Chuck/Tim’s image starts back down the stairs, and finds the druids starting to come up. They demand that he fetch the child; they wish to speak with them outside, under the great tree. Chuck dimension doors them both to the tree, and drops Tiny Tim to the ground. “I’ll see you in Hell, Tiny Tim.” Then he uses Dimension Door to insert himself into John Bear’s coffin. “I wonder how Durest is doing…”

All of a sudden there’s this giant crash and the earth shakes.

Those of us in the bar hear this hideous shriek and then a body hits the ground, and then an enormous crash as something very large lands on top of it. Righeera has seen them escape, and come to stop it -- or at least, that's what Durest thinks. Everybody rushes out of the bar at the sounds of screaming. Durest, meanwhile, grabs Jenny and uses Dimension Door to get to the nearest shelter: the underground cell.

The priest is down here, trapped in the coffin. Durest seals him in and leaves him to suffocate. We wait. Chuck’s in a coffin, so he naps. Jenny/Jensen is immediately and incredibly bored.

After half an hour, we hear the druids coming down the hall. Durest/Bandolier makes Jenny invisible and casts Disguise Self on himself. Unfortunately, the druids have been scrying us the whole time, and so they aren’t even remotely fooled. "Ah," says Durest, and promptly teleports himself and Jenny/Jensen to the mountain fortress of a long-dead druid that they explored months ago, and which has the added advantage of being very far away from Calisthum.

At sunset, Chuck uses his last Dimension Door to appear in the cell; he looks around at the druids and immediately teleports to Jafreese’s mansion, and appears in Jafreese’s hot tub, scaring the hell out of Jafreese. Jafreese establishes Chuck’s identity and then sends two of his girls over to comfort him.

Chuck: “Jafreese, Jafreese man. It was bad. It was so bad. I had to kill my son. I watched my friend fuck a monkey.”

Jafreese is all sympathetic and starts sending more girls over to Chuck.

Chuck: “We’re going to need to run a rescue mission.”

Jafreese: "I mean, I'm a lover, not a fighter. Plus I'm not sure the people I have running this place can be trusted. I should stay here and keep an eye on them."

Chuck uses the last pearl from the friendship bracelet to summon Durest, who teleports the two of them and several of the girls back to Jensen.

They catch up on events. So we’re resting here. Well, eventually; Jensen takes all three of the girls to bed with him. Chuck/Tim stands guard while Durest collapses, and eventually the sun comes up. Jensen immediately gets back to business, and Chuck goes to sleep in his coffin.

Recovered, Durest uses Discern Location and finds that Nin is cleaning our room. He grabs Jensen and teleports them to the room at the inn.

Jensen: “Hello pretty lady, I need you bite me.” He’s currently naked, so this is more than a little creepy. Durest swings the door shut, and Jenny grabs Nin and pulls her head towards his shoulder. Nin claws at Jensen, doing a bit of damage, but Jensen has now grabbed her. She struggles and then screams. Durest watches as Nin freaks out and transforms into a bear. Jenny continues to grapple while pulling her head closer. Unfortunately, they accidentally headbutt each other and the bear fails to bite her. The bear tries to rip loose but fails; Jenny responds by slapping the crap out of the bear. Durest hears footsteps outside the door, and just leans back against it.

Jenny finally gets bitten, and also clawed. Durest grabs her and teleports them back to the mountaintop chateau. Jenny: “Look! I got bit! It hurts.”

Jenny will change at the next full moon; the last one was six days ago, so we’ve got a little time. We’re still being scried on by the druids in all likelihood, so we’re going to need some countermeasures. We also take advantage of our crystal ball of scrying – the one with Detect Thoughts – and use it to look over the town and spy on the druids in turn.

We start with the werebear, Nin. She’s in the jail, behind the bars, pacing around and occasionally ramming into them. We try for the murdered priest next; he’s in a bed in a nearby village, being tended by a local priest who has apparently resurrected him. The older priest gets up and leaves, and Chuck teleports in and disintegrates him.

He ceases to exist, and Chuck teleports back.

Then we check on the beastmaster druid. He’s standing in front of the tree, just staring at this crater with Burhea’s corpse at the bottom of it. Chuck can’t detect his thoughts. He’s beginning to think that the sacred tree was what did her in. Finally, we scry the mayor; he’s in the back room of the town hall, with a tray set out with all the trappings of druidic scrying. They’re watching Jenny.

They’re all very puzzled. They literally have no idea why we came back; they think it was just Jensen attempting to have more sex. They decide to keep scrying on us for the next fortnight or so, and if we don’t seem inclined to return they’ll give up.

So, easy answer: we’ll spend the next two weeks brothel-hopping. Durest takes the opportunity to preach the wonders of Indra, and by the end of the first week the true elves have formed a betting pool. By day twelve, it’s started an all-out theological debate: is he even human? When Jensen finally stops on day 15, they're amazed -- at which point Durest polymorphs him into a gold dragon.

We… we might have just started a cargo cult here. They seem to be worshiping the image of the gold dragon and, um, holding orgies in his honor. (The hermit won the bet, by the way.)

Next Up: The pit fiend in Chuck's staff.