Friday, April 11, 2014

You get one item...

Right, so: you've been chosen to save the Universe from the Forces of Darkness. At the culmination of the Great Rite in which your role in the Struggle was first revealed, you were given something to help you with your work. What did you receive, and what does it do? (This is a completely open question. Tell us a story, or part of a story, about you set out to save the day. Make up any kind of item, and any kind of Dark Forces, that you like.)


  1. I have no idea where my last comment went. I hope it doesn't show up twice.

    My object is a thin, blank book with a purposefully beige, forgettable cover. It has no title and no author printed on it.

    Your first impulse is to overlook it. There are much more exciting books out there.

    If you can push past that urge, though, go pick it up. No two people will ever find the same story even if they somehow manage to thumb through to identical pages. Neither will they ever remembers what it was exactly that they read.

    But everyone who reads it immediately loses any urge they've ever had or will ever have to harm themselves or someone else in any way.

  2. Oh, I like that one. I imagine that would be an intriguingly philosophical story, in which you traveled around sharing the book and sort of... improve things from the ground up. The Dark Forces might be built around a sort of Gnostic Demiurge, intent on keeping humanity as miserable as possible, rather than some sort of ravening horde.

  3. My one item is the classic Big Red Button which, when pressed, will instantly cleanse the world of all traces of the evil Illuminati and all effects of their plots.

    Unfortunately, the forces of darkness in question are the Lizard People.

  4. Mine is a handle. What sort of handle? Any sort. Need to open a door? Use the handle. Need a tool? Grab the handle. When not in use, it's just a cylinder of undetermined substance, about six inched long and half an inch across.

  5. I couldn't think of anything, but I like the handle idea.

  6. Inspired by these, a pair of wooden knitting needles that can be whatever size you need and you don't need to know how to knit to turn out warm clothes and blankets with them. Useful against vampires and snow demons. Not kidding about the vampire part. Sharpen the points and the larger needles would make very good wooden stakes.

    Not so good against cats that like to wrestle though. Bad Foster Kitty. Don't bite teh hooman.

  7. So the dark forces in your world would be vampires and snow demons, allied with an army of kittehs? Sounds pretty fearsome.

  8. Well, considering the affinity that kittehs have for yarn, they'd make good allies for the snow demons.


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