Monday, January 24, 2011

Zombie Dreams, Part Whatever

So the first words out of my mouth on Saturday morning had to do with the dreams I'd been having before my wife and two small boys piled onto the bed with me: "Stay together, stay quiet. We're going to need a lot more toilet paper if we're going to escape this zombie-infested forest." I paused, then added, "...Stupid summer camp."

My wife, who was none too terribly awake herself, considered this. "You know what difference between American zombies and British zombies is?" she asked me.

I thought about that for a moment, but I couldn't come up with anything.

Having satisfied herself that I was stumped, the Beautiful Woman answered: "Better teeth."


  1. Do you think a vampire can turn a zombie into a zombie vampire? Or vice versa?

    Also, since zombies aren't alive, do you think they can be knocked unconscious?

  2. {Geek Hat} I tend to think that both infections transform living tissue, so they're probably immune to each other's bites. Depends a lot on the mechanics/metaphysics involved, though.

    And I tend to think that while you might be able to stun a zombie, they don't really lose consciousness.

    The werewolf/vampire crossbreed, on the other hand...{/Geek Hat}

  3. Werewolves? You must be kidding me. There's no such thing as werewolves.

  4. Oh, so what do you think would happen if you used a stun-gun on a zombie? Are their muscle movements dependent upon electrical impules? Will they be temporarily stunned? Basically, I'm asking if a cattle prod would be a humane way of fending off zombies if you don't feel comfortable killing them.

  5. Assuming the viral sort of zombies, which are kinda-sorta supposed to be operating in the real world, they'd pretty much have to be using their nervous systems... so yeah, I'd think that a jolt from a cattle prod would at least produce some sort of galvanic twitch. Of course, it'd be just my luck that I'd shock the zombie wrong, and its arm would spasm and knock me in the head. (Like, Pow! Instant zombie chow.)


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