Evil!Party: The Lucky Life of Clovis Cloverfield

We’re still engaged in combat. Yes, still. And now we’re facing off against a giant primal earth elemental. This is such a completely bad idea.

The druids use their call lightning to attack Jenny, but fail to get through her spell resistance. Balaam moves away from the elemental, who smacks him as he leaves. He drops a quickened fireball on the sorcerers, then teleports Durest, Bob, and Ferrous back to Maodeus. One of the sorcerers dies; the other tries to cast Hold Monster on Chuck.

Chuck does a quickened Dimension Door, grabs Jenny, and Teleports out. We are now all up on the ridge with Maodeus, who is finishing up squishing helpless Solari. Durest casts a Mass Cure Serious wounds, helping himself, Jenny, Maodeus, and Balaam. He then inflicts some healing on Chuck. 

Cardinal Lovis Sunsoul casts Storm of Vengeance on us. The deafening thunder effect of the first round fails to affect us. Balaam uses Greater Dispel Magic to try to disrupt the storm of vengeance, and succeeds – leaving an image of goatse in the sky for one brief and shining moment. 

Meanwhile, the remaining archers and paladins have gathered close together, and suddenly our nice empty ridge is full of enemies. The giant earth elemental is just sort of wandering around down on the plains, looking for enemies. 

Chuck responds by dropping a fireball on one end of their line. Bob moves forward, carrying Durest in his ribcage, and reaches one group of enemies. Jenny rages and charges, reaching the front line of paladins but attacking past them to reach the sorcerer. The sorcerer explodes into a red mist and a mysterious meteor-corpse plummeting off the side of the cliff. She ignores the clerics and the paladins that the sorcerer had teleported in with, and wipes out another sorcerer. And then another. She then turns on the archers, and starts taking them out as well. Then paladins. She’s using her spiked chain’s ability to do extra damage while injuring herself in exchange, and Durest is just reaching for the scroll of True Resurrection that he’s going to use when she kills herself doing this. 

In a frenzy of violence, she carves through the paladins and then starts in on the priests. Down on the plains, the remaining solari were cheering for their companions; as the carnage becomes obvious, they fall silent. Maodeus moves up and uses his cone of sleep gas, and drops a quickened Cure Critical Wounds on Jenny. One cleric remains standing; the rest of our enemies are now asleep. 

That One Cleric says, “You may kill me, but with my final breath I will cast down your vile evilness with the power of Helios!” He casts Searing Light on Chuck. 

Durest swings down out of Bob’s ribcage and hits him with a Shadow Bolt from his staff. Then Cardinal Lovis drops a second Storm of Vengeance on us, deafening Durest. The druids finally move into position where they can see us, and take Durest down with lightning strikes. Balaam drops a pair of fireballs on them in return. They survive that, but… yeah. 

Chuck wipes out the sleeping enemies, leaving only the single brave cleric. Bob circles around him, taking a crack from a mace on the way. Jenny charges, and misses. Meowdeus heals Durest, while Ferrous lumbers forward. The Cleric cries out, “Are you going to spare me?” Jenny: “Are you joking?” 

The cleric throws Searing Light at Chuck, who is forced to return to his coffin. We take a tiny little bit of acid damage from Storm of Vengeance. The druids drop more lightning on Durest, but he’s healed enough to shrug it off. Meanwhile, Balaam burns out the last of the druids; that should stop the lightning. 

Another sorcerer teleports in, this time with Cardinal Lovis and four clerics. Lovis immediately drops a firestorm. Bob takes the full damage; Jenny is still protected from fire, but Durest takes full damage as well. Bob swings at the lucky cleric, but misses. Jenny charges the new arrivals, and immediately wipes out the sorcerer, again damaging himself to do it. She whips her chain around and wipes out the lesser clerics as well. Cardinal Lovis is surrounded by a rainbow bubble, so Jenny disdains to attack him and blows a raspberry at him instead.

Meowdeus Heals Durest again, and then moves over next to Jenny. Durest moves closer. Balaam moves around to flank Cardinal Lovis, and tries to dispel his Prismatic Sphere… and succeeds. He then drops a quickened fireball on the lucky cleric, who survives. Cardinal Lovis attempts to cast Destruction on Balaam. Balaam shakes it off, taking damage but not being destroyed. Bob takes a swipe at Clovis Cloverfield, the world’s luckiest cleric, and misses. 

Jenny attacks the cardinal, hitting three times – and on the last one she wraps her chain around his neck and rips his head off. Meowdeus heals Jenny. Clovis Cloverfield turns Bob and runs for cover. Durest teleports people down to the first anchor; Balaam brings the others and dispels it, then throws a quickened fireball at the remaining Solari. 

Maodeus gathers us up and takes to the air as the primal elemental turns back towards us. The remaining solari stay together as a group, but they have no sorcerers left to teleport them, so they move away from the elemental and generally towards the bluff. (They do still have some archers.) Balaam, meanwhile, teleports Jenny and Bob. Jenny is complaining that they’re going away from the enemies. Maodeus follows the cliff at the south end of the battlefield, until we find a spot where a couple of stone golems are standing in the mud, probably guarding something. Maodeus drops Durest, who flies down close enough to get a better look at the stone golems. They’re glowing, faintly, and lines of power connect them to something that’s hidden back in the cliff face. 

Balaam teleports over with Jenny and Bob, coming in directly in front of them. 

Bob attacks, but a stone golem smashes him on the way in; Bob goes down. 

Jenny attacks, with a modest power attack, and takes one of the stone golems out. Meowdeus drops down and Heals Jenny again. The golems move in. Meowdeus bites one of them as it moves in, while Jenny hits another. They attack Jenny, but she laughs. Durest, still flying, drops more healing on her, with what spells he has left. Balaam attacks the nearest stone golem, and tears into it with his claws and bite. 

Jenny rips into them again, this time using her full strength, and one goes down. She continues on, beating on the next one, Meowdeus attacks one of the remaining two, and rips into it. Ferrous moves up beside it, and attacks as well; the golems are tough, but they’re still taking damage. 

The golems attack Jenny, hitting, and doing some damage. Durest throws some healing again, but he’s getting low on spells. Balaam attacks, taking out another golem, and Jenny takes out the last one. As the last one goes down, a glowing aura in the mountainside dissipates and we can see the anchor. Maodeus throws Greater Dispel Magic at it, and takes it down. The dome that’s keeping us trapped on the battlefield shivers again. 

 

One anchor yet remains, and we can either find it (and hopefully call in reinforcements) or wipe out the last of the Solari and search at our leisure. With Chuck down and Durest painfully low on spells, breaking the final anchor and bringing down the dome that's keeping us trapped on the battlefield seems like the better option. 

 

Archivist's Note: The evil Brass Dragon who acted as one of the generals for the Order of Secrets in their invasion of Sol Povos was originally known -- and feared -- under the name Maodeus. Unfortunately, in interacting with the Solari Hunters, the dragon revealed a certain tendency to play with its prey, rather like a cat. The Solari Hunters took to calling the dragon Meowdeus, and a matter of weeks that appellation had spread through the entire Order of Secrets, the wildlander army, and most of Sol Povos. This was not considered a betrayal of the Order, but Meowdeus is said to have gone to his grave muttering resentfully about the corruption of his name.