So most of what I got done this weekend -- and why the actual fuck it "what I got done" a defining characteristic of my weekend? Like seriously, how fucked-up is that? Why should I need to feel like I'm working as hard on my "time off" as I am on during the week? Or harder? Where the hell is my time to rest and relax?
So most of what I got done this weekend was running and sorting laundry -- a solid eight hours worth, at least -- and running the youth D&D game, which isn't a chore but still requires spending some energy. Also? A database migration for a major application. And between the work I'm doing at work and the work I'm doing at home, I've managed very little writing. A bit for the blog, for Friday; and another pass through a short story involving a demon or two and a drinking contest with a human drinking partner.
I do not want to be at work today. I do not want to be at work at all. I am behind on about six or seven major projects, I'm not getting paid enough for the work I'm putting in on them, I have no help, and I'm slowly realizing that for as much as I like my job, I really don't like my job. And I have a bunch of other stupidly-inconvenient things that I also need to do, like get my oil changed and clean the cage of the lizard-goddess.
I shouldn't even take it easy. I should just push through and do as much as I can, and then go to bed at like 8:00 like the responsible adult that I will never in my life fucking be except by accident. And honestly I probably shouldn't publish this, because everybody wants everybody to pretend that everything is fine, but there is no goddamn way that I'm the only one here.
::sigh::
Writing-wise? A bit more of Dark Armor, which I think is going off in an interesting direction, and a pretty good run through the short story, though I need to proofread and review before I show that one to anybody.
Sleep? No, chronically underslept at this point. I keep trying to break that cycle, but look...
Oh, good. It's one of those Sunday nights where I'm completely depressed about the prospect of Monday morning and so I'm staying up hoping to find something that makes me feel better, which is going to make Monday suck even more.
— Michael Mock (@MockRamblings) October 18, 2021
And it would be wonderful if recognizing that offered any way to break the pattern, but it doesn't.
Still... any writing progress is better than no writing progress, right?
Also, as a general statement of philosophical outlook? Fuck capitalism.
Comin from someone who just made the leap from a job that was slowly killing me, despite the fact that I liked the work. The old adage "the grass isn't always greener on the other side" is true. It isn't always greener - but (when you've carefully considered your current situation and the one you are moving to) many times it is, and that is WONDERFUL.
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