Monday, October 31, 2016

Job Woes

You know, if there's one thing I hate, it's coming in for an ordinary day of work and finding out that the team has messed up so badly that they've opened a rift to other worlds rife with hostile intelligences and dangerous beasts, and leaving me to figure out some way to survive all these things and close the portal, so that the world can go mostly back to normal. I swear, it happens like every three weeks around here. And yet, do they budget for better equipment or even a few more batteries? No. I'll be fighting for my life and fending off extradimensional horrors with nothing more than a crowbar and an HEV suit that's still at 18% charge. Every. Single Time. It's inexcusable.

I swear, the only reason OSHA hasn't closed us down is because our work is so technologically cutting-edge that there's absolutely no precedents for safety protocols. Well, that and I'm pretty sure the administration is bribing the everloving hell out of the inspectors.

I've got a buddy over at Aperture Labs who says he can get me a job there. I may take it. I'm pretty sure it would be safer than working here.


  1. You must have a couple of old proton packs lying around. Charge 'em up, fire 'em off and cross the streams. Closes portals every time.

    1. Those belong to Blakely, who keeps them locked in a cabinet in his office. Says they're "vintage". Even if I could get to them, I'm pretty sure he'd kill me if I touched them...

      That's assuming the total protonic reversal didn't get me first, of course.

    2. Blakely... hmm... I seem to recall that he finds crowbars fairly persuasive.


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