Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Music: The Narrator Is A Jerk

Okay, Justin, I know you intended this as an apology, but really? As apologies go, this one's pretty horrible -- and it's making you sound like a complete jerk.

Shall we break it down?

You gotta go and get angry at all of my honesty

One line in, and we're already off to a really bad start. Because this? This isn't how it works. Nobody says, "I can't believe he was so honest with me! I'm still angry about it..." It just doesn't happen. No, stuff like this, this "I can't believe you're mad at me for being honest" is the sort of thing someone says when they're trying to avoid discussing the real reason why the other person is pissed off. And that's usually because you've been being a jerk.

You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies

Then you need to learn. But frankly, at your age, if you "don't do too well with apologies", it's because you're a jerk. Either you think you're never supposed to admit you're wrong, or you're just so utterly unconcerned about the effects of your actions on other people that you've never realized when you ought to be making apologies. Either way: jerk.

I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call the referee?

...And now you're trying to set the terms of the conversation. How lovely.


'Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness

See, this isn't how apologies work. The point of an apology isn't to obtain forgiveness for yourself, or to get out of the consequences of your actions. It's to let the other person know that you recognize that you've done something wrong and/or hurtful. You don't get to tell the person you're apologizing to how they're supposed to react. Trying to do that is a dick move.


But, hey, maybe the next stanza will be better...

I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice
And by once or twice I mean maybe a couple a hundred times

Wow. Just... wow. Okay, see, "maybe a couple of hundred times" isn't what I'd call a "mistake". I mean, at that point, it's a pattern; it's a habit. Specifically, it's a habit of being a jerk. Hell, what you're describing here is almost a character trait.

So let me, oh let me redeem, oh redeem, oh myself tonight
'Cause I just need one more shot, second chances

...And again, you've slipped out of apologizing, and started talking about what you need instead. That doesn't much sound like you're really sorry. And "let me redeem myself tonight"? How exactly are you planning to do that, Binky? You're just going to downplay this long-standing habit of -- what was your euphemism? -- "making mistakes", and hope that an evening of being charming is going to win her back? Yeah, good luck with that. Jerk.

Is it too late now to say sorry?
'Cause I'm missing more than just your body

...And here we come to it. You're not saying you're sorry because you're actually sorry. You haven't come to some realization that your actions were hurtful and wrong; it's just that you've suddenly realized that your bad behavior is actually going to cost you something, and you don't want to face the consequences because you're a jerk. It's all about you, isn't it?

Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

If the girl you're addressing has any sense, then the answer should be a resounding "YES!" It should be too late, you smug, condescending little prick.

I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to

Dude. This is supposed to be an apology, not a fucking negotiation. Jerk.

But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two

Oh, dear ye immortal gods. "Hey, you did things wrong, too!" is no way say you're sorry, you passive-aggressive twat.

I'll go, I'll go and then you go, you go out and spill the truth

Finally! Finally, you admit that she's completely right about you, and absolutely right to leave your selfish ass.

Can we both say the words and forget this?

...And then you blow it. Again, if the girl you're addressing has any sense at all, she'll say "No" -- and she should. So far, the only thing you've offered is to "redeem yourself tonight", which sounds more like trying to play a Get Out Of Jail Free card than like any sort of personal reform, character growth, or honest self-reflection. (Jerk.) Yes, you're "missing more than just [her] body", but so what? Even if that isn't just a line -- and I'm admittedly dubious -- why should she think that's going to stop you from making even more of those "mistakes" that you apparently make so often? (Jerk.)

I mean, there's nothing here that says, "I realize why my actions were wrong, and this is what I have done and will do to fix my behavior." All I see here is, "Please give me what I want, including the chance to hurt you again." Jerk.

I'm not just trying to get you back on me, oh no
'Cause I'm missing more than just your body, oh

Yeah, you say that, but honestly? That sounds like exactly what you're trying to do. Jerk.

Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

For her sake, I certainly hope it is.

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