Once more unto the install, dear friends, once more;
Or close the firewall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a webmaster
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of upgrade blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the typing-fingers, summon up tech support,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the screen a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the monitor
Like the brass cannon; let the install file o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
...Yeah. We're back at it. What ought to be a complex (but perfectly manageable) software upgrade has now required us to build a fresh pair of new servers, and is quickly devolving into a Gordian Knot of interlocking requirements. It's less like a software install, and more like trying to defeat the Dark Lord in certain sorts of fantasy games. In order to defeat the Dark Lord, you need the mighty sword of Asphyxia; in order to get the sword from the Asphyxians, you have to defeat the dreadful Shadow Trolls - but in order to defeat the dreadful Shadow Trolls, you need the Gleaming Shield Of Wunderbar, and that can only be obtained from the Ice Dwarves who live deep in the mines of the the Grenadine Mountains, but they can't repair the shield without... what was I trying to do again? How did I end up digging for Mandrake Roots in the Vasty Haunted Forest?
Yeah. It's like that.