Thursday, October 18, 2012

Survey Question: Portal Preparedness

Am I the only one who keeps a certain number of items (pocket knife, cigarette lighter, etc) on his person in case an interdimensional portal suddenly opens up and sucks me through? I mean, everybody does that, right? We just don't talk about it. Right?


  1. Not specifically for an interdimensional portal, but I don't call it the utility belt for nothing. (That list is a bit out of date. I've replaced the notebook with a fresh one, I have a single peanut butter granola bar instead of two cranberry-almond biscotti (slightly fewer calories, but much less space), and I have two tampons instead of one.) The usual joke is that I could survive overnight in a forest off of the stuff in my belly bag. (I haven't tested this, and hopefully I won't have to. But I ever do need a foil blanket, I will have one.)

  2. Okay, that's awesome.

    My list gets a lot longer if I include my backpack: laptop, Kindle, cough drops, enough allergy meds to stock a mid-sized pharmacy, flashlight, multi-tool, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, tea bags, headphones, that book I keep meaning to deconstruct (National Sunday Law), ear plugs, sugarless gum, glasses, handi-wipes, sewing kit, and notecards from an old writing project.

  3. I do not. I've thought of what would happen if an interdimensional portal opened up and my basis thing is this:

    Schoolbooks: Finally get read.
    Latin and Greek: I will be fluent by the time I get back to this dimension.
    Computer: Probably never used because I want to conserve the battery for when it is needed, which may be never.
    Notebooks: Will be filled by the time I get back.
    Food: I have none, foraging or the kindness of strangers is in my future.
    Weapons: Backback, heavy books, (sling made from shoelaces?), zebra pencil for up close stabby stuff.
    Medicine: Not a lot. I was certified in lifeguarding and wilderness first aid once upon a time, I would not count it. Also, my antidepressants do not travel with me. I will be back to bad as soon as my bloodstream empties of meds. Doesn't matter, I'll survive, it's what I do. Also, the migraine meds will be a help till they run out.
    Knife: Will have to make one. Find rock, get chipping.
    Water bottle: sometimes have two, lately only one. Better than nothing, worse than what you'd want. No means of making found water safe, but at least I can transport it.
    Plastic bag: There to keep things dry, may have some use.
    Flashlight: None. Moon and starlight for the win, unless it's cloudy. Then I'm screwed.
    Sunglasses: Always with me. As are the normal glasses to which the attach.
    Broken Rubik-like 2x3x3 made by me: serves no purpose unless other dimension has superglue. In that case I'll finally fix it.

    Basically, I'm counting on some force, perhaps the one that pulled me through the portal, perhaps one opposed to it, to want me alive and help me out. Though, like I said, take away my antidepressants and have me sink back to my standard setting and survival is what I do. It's all I do.

    Some way, some how, I'll survive in the other dimension.

    1. *"my basic thing" instead of "my basis thing", this correction was to have been posted hours ago.

  4. Not bad, not bad. I'd hate to have to chip my own knife, but with your luck the broken Rubik-thing would signify that you were The Great Prophet Returned or somesuch.


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