I achieved enlightenment yesterday.
I was helping someone with a computer problem, and the user asked something so completely stupid - how to press the Any Key, or something, I don't even remember - that my mind just snapped. Suddenly I lost all sense of self; for the first time, I truly and fully understood the futility of striving. My mind opened, and it was like a great rush of fire and water, everywhere. This tremendous, deep sense of peace settled over me, and I became aware that I was a part of all living things.
Ragweed... is not my friend.
And apparently I can't be at one with a Universe that contains ragweed, because all of a sudden I was back in my body: trapped once again in the illusion of Self. And sneezing. A lot. My eyes were watering so badly that I could barely find the Benadryl.
The experience wasn't a total loss, though. I mean, now I know exactly what is holding us back: it's ragweed. Ragweed is the enemy of human advancement.
So join me, friends. Let the Great Crusade begin today. Together, we will wipe ragweed from the face of the Earth - Ahrimsa be damned - and open the way to a new age of peace and enlightenment for all humanity!