The Lost Girl, part twenty-one

Chris had just decided to start a shower when someone knocked on his door. He paused, shut the water back down, and went to open it. 

"May we come in?" asked Antoinette, with Elyssa standing beside her.

Chris shrugged and stepped back. "Of course, magus," he said, looking around suspiciously. This whole house was positively soaking in the Grey, and doubtless the magi were using their connection to keep the wards and structures fresh and strong. He hadn't tried to look at the manor's magical defenses; there was too much risk of being noticed and giving himself away.

Instead he simply assumed that he was being watched at all times. 

In retrospect, he shouldn't have been surprised. Antoinette had promised him that they'd discuss it later. But when she opened with, "That fight you had with Morri..." he froze.

She smiled. "You were hoping I'd forget, weren't you?"

Elyssa punched him in the ribs, and he wheezed. "You scared the life out of both of us," she said. "Sit down."

Chris sat. It was cross-legged on the expensive foreign rug, but that didn't seem to bother them either: Elyssa dropped down beside him, and Antoinette sat down across from him. 

There was a long, awkward moment of silence. 

"Chris... do you want to keep working with me?" 

He hesitated, and Antoinette's expression froze. 

"Yes," he said quietly, and then made himself meet her eyes. "Yes, I want to keep working with you."

Antoinette studied him for a long moment. "All right. Then I need you to take care of yourself. I need you to stop thinking that you're equal to every single danger we run into. I need you to actually work with me, not just hang around and try to protect me. I need... hokey as it sounds to say it, I need you to be part of the team."

Chris said, "I..." and then trailed off as his mood collapsed. "I don't know if I can do that. You've seen what I'm like."

Antoinette said, "I've seen somebody who's deeply unhappy, and doesn't much care if he lives or dies -- but still cares enough to try to help other people out. I've seen somebody who can do amazing things. I don't want to see you assigned to another magus, but I also don't want to watch you die."

"I'm not going to--"

Elyssa squeezed his shoulder. "You're strong. I know that. But if you keep putting yourself in front of the moose, sooner or later you will get gored." 

"You've never worked with an Antean before," Antoinette added immediately. "Did you know that they're practically invincible as long as they're in contact with the earth?"

Chris sat back. After a moment's thought he said, "No, but I knew that Morri wasn't going to kill me. Hurt me -- maybe hurt me a lot -- but not kill me. And I don't mind getting hurt."

"That--" Antoinette swallowed. "Chris, she nearly took your head off."

"No," he said. "She didn't. She knocked me out, that's all. No different than a boxer in the ring."

Elyssa put a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe that's right," she said carefully, "but a hit like that would have killed me, or any other wolf I know. Antoinette's wasn't wrong to be scared."

Chris considered that, then nodded. He reached up and squeezed Elyssa's hand, then released it.

After a few seconds of silence, Antoinette conceded. "All right. I'll try to remember that you're tougher than you have any right to be, but I still need you to work with us. We can start training as a team when we get back, you stubborn ass."

 "All right," Chris said. "All right, I can do that."

"Good." Antoinette stood up. "At least you didn't try to get into it with the giant. Or Amelie Hargrave, may the gods preserve us. Elyssa, would you stay here and make sure that nothing else happens with him? I need to go talk to Peter." 

Elyssa nodded, and Antoinette turned and went out the door without another word.