Challenge: Zombie Apocalypse

This is part of the weekly Blogging Challenge over at Long and Short Reviews. If you'd like to participate, you can find the prompts here. They also put up a post every Wednesday where you go and link your response -- and see everyone else's. Check out their homepage to find it.

The challenge for this week is "How I'd fare in a Zombie Apocalypse," and folks, I have thought about this way too much. (Waaaaay too much.)

Also, the question seems remarkably timely, since at this point if the dead started rising up to devour the living I wouldn't EVEN be surprised.

I think I'd do pretty well. I'm not in top athletic trim, but I'm in decent shape; but then, I feel like if you find yourself having to rely on your physical prowess to battle or outrun the undead, you've probably already lost. And I'm cautious. In video games, I usually play a sniper if I can; and I will clear an entire room and wait to see if anything else comes along before I advance. So as far as avoiding physical danger goes, that's exactly what I'd be doing: avoiding the hell out of it.

Also, I own weapons. I mean, guns, yes, we have a couple of pistols, but again: you start shooting guns and you're going to attract every zombie within a quarter mile at least. Save the guns until there are literally no other options. Meanwhile, if you need to take something down from a distance? Archery. It's quiet, it's safer (you almost never hear "my bow fell out of its holster and accidentally went off") and the ammunition is much easier to replace when you hit the point of needing to make your own stuff. But I also have quite a lot of swords, and several spears and polearms -- enough to outfit a small group if needs be. And group tactics would be really helpful against zombies; one person can spear the thing and keep it in place, while their partner moves in to behead it in relative safety.

I did a lot of camping when I was younger and still have the equipment; I know basic first aid, I know how to sew, I know how to start a fire without matches. (It sucks, but it can be done.) So, you know, if the plague has spread through the city and we need to get a dozen or so people out to someplace less fraught, I'm your guy -- or I'm at least a contributing member of the team.

Where it breaks down is over the long term. I don't know how to raise crops (and canned food really doesn't last that long), I have very little experience with hunting and fishing, and the first time I need to replace my glasses is probably the last time I'm going to see the world clearly. But the thing that would take me down? I'm pretty sure I know what it is. And as an online friend of mine observed, it's the lack of cold medicines.