Horoscopes, January 14 2019 edition

Aries:
The darkness is hungry. Stockpile all the light sources you can: candles, lamps, flashlights. Make sure you have plenty of batteries and fuel for the generator.

Taurus:
They're behind the walls. They listen, and they wait. They know all your secrets, the big ones and the small ones. Today would be a really good time to look for a new home.

Gemini:
Stay away from water today. Any water. If you're thirsty, have someone make tea for you - but tell them to get the water all the way to a boil, and make sure the tea has at least five minutes to steep before you try to drink it.

Cancer:
It's buried under that tree you used to play in. It won't be easy to find, or to dig out. The tree's roots have claimed it for their own.

Leo:
You'll have the most horrible nightmares tonight, but they don't actually mean anything. They're just random anxiety couple with snacking too close to bedtime.

Virgo:
Look twice -- look carefully --before making that left turn. This is very, very important.

Libra:
There's something following you. You can't see it. You can't hear it. It is every bit a fearsome and malicious as you fear. It can't stand to hear people singing, though.

Scorpio:
That restaurant you were planning to eat lunch at? Wait until next week for that. Go somewhere else, anywhere else, especially today.

Sagittarius:
Today would be a good day to take some time and really plan out the details of your revenge. It will make all of 2019 go much more smoothly.

Capricorn:
You'll get your lab results back to day, and they'll be... ominous. Especially because you didn't know you were getting tested.

Aquarius:
A dark stranger will be watching over you today, but he won't do anything to help. He's just watching, waiting for it to happen.

Pisces:
Stay close to other people today. Don't go anywhere alone. Trust me on this.