I fought the tree

With apologies to The Clash...

Low hangin' branch looked like... good fun
I fought the tree and the tree won [x2]
Tried for a grip but I... got none
I fought the tree and the tree won [x2]

I scraped my arms up and it feels so bad
Guess my climb is done
Won't try again 'cause I am not mad
I fought the tree and the tree won
I fought the tree and the

Jumped off a park bench 'cause I... had one
I fought the tree and the tree won [x2]
I missed a handhold and then I was done
I fought the tree and the tree won [x2]

I scraped my arms up and it feels so bad
Guess my climb is done
Won't try again 'cause I am not mad
I fought the tree and the tree won
I fought the tree and the

I fought the tree and the tree won [x7]
I fought the tree and the

That's right, we went to a nearby park last Saturday. A park which had a nice little table, with benches, tucked under a broad and shady tree. A tree with plenty of low-hanging branches, one of which ran quite near the picnic table. And I, indifferent to the fact that I'll be forty years old on my next birthday, tried to jump from the top of the table, catch the branch, and pull myself up onto it.

The first two steps in that sequence actually worked.

Unfortunately, the last one - the one where I actually caught myself and climbed up? ...Not so much.

Firstborn, however, figured out what I'd been trying to do. After failing to scale the trunk, he demanded that I lift him up to one of the limbs. So...

The only real difficulty was figuring out how to get him back down. At least, that was a difficulty for me. Not for him; he just jumped. Apparently he can do that.

I wish I could still do that. Nevertheless, I remain determinedly unimpressed by the effects of encroaching age on my physical frame. If I feel like climbing a tree, then by all that's holy that's what I'm gonna do.

...Provided the tree is reasonably cooperative, of course.