Okay, so: anybody who's following this blog knows that I have weird dreams. Just peruse the Dreams tag and you'll see what I mean. But Friday night/Saturday morning's dreams set a whole new standard for weirdness.
I mean, okay, the sprawling and elaborate indoor play area - which included both play structures, of the ladders/steps/nets/tunnels/slides variety, and a landscaped floor that also offered opportunities for climbing, sliding, and jumping - was a bit odd. It looked like it might have come out of some sort of video game. But in itself, it wasn't that weird. I mean, my dreams feature strange architecture and odd spacial arrangements often enough. But why would anyone set up a play area where you could capture Bigfoot if you got to the particularly high and inaccessible ledge in the back corner?
(And why was Bigfoot only about three feet tall, despite having these giant feet? Actually, I think I know the answer to that one: Roger Zelazny presented him that way in the story Unicorn Variations, and the image obviously stuck with me.)
After that, as the person who found Bigfoot, I got to go speak to a class at a local school. Only apparently at the same time I was also the main assistant to... wait for it... Charlie Sheen, who was addressing the class (alternately) as an actor and as the President of the United States. Who thought that was a good idea??? (The "letting Charlie Sheen be president" part, or the "letting Charlie Sheen speak to a classroom full of children" part, either one: why? For the love of all that's holy, WHY???)
I swear, they brought him a Sprite and the first thing he did was pull one of those little mini-bottles of rum - you know, the kind you get in hotel rooms, or airplanes - out of the pocket of his coat. While he's pouring it in, he's explaining to the kids how much better the Sprite is this way.
Fortunately, the boys came in and woke me up at that point. I'm really afraid of where the dream might have been going...