Friday, April 29, 2011


You know, there's a reason why I don't consult my horoscope. Aside from horoscopes being comprehensive bunk, I mean. Or the part where there's supposed to be any sort of prediction that could be useful - let alone accurate - for one twelfth of the population. No, the reason I don't consult my horoscope is that it never tells me the things I actually need to know.

For example, this morning's horoscope should have read: "You will get stuck behind the slowest and least competent drivers in the Metroplex, all the way to work, so be sure to leave a little early. Oh, and your son almost certainly has an ear infection, so make an appointment with the pediatrician as soon as you can. On the plus side, work will be insanely busy but there won't be anything you can't handle. You'll want sushi for lunch."

The moment my horoscope starts saying things like that - you know, things that are actually useful - I'll start paying attention to it.


  1. Horrorscopes generally humor and entertain me. I can do that well with general vaguery.


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