Thursday, February 29, 2024

Terra Povos: A Game Of Musical Wagons

Amergin, male dwarf druid
James male-presenting dwarven stabby thief
Pythia female dwarven cleric
Whisper male dwarf rogue
Lithos male goblin wizard
Archibald male human bard

As we’re walking out, Leaf is like: “You guys really saved my buns in there, you’re my friends.”

Archibald: “Why were you locked in the basement?” 

Leaf: “The Senator’s son and I were like brothers. And now he’s dead, so I ran to Dane’s place, and he was worried I was going to get him in trouble so he threw me in the dungeon.”

Archibald: “So, who killed him?”

Leaf: “I have info! But it’s back on my ship.”

We go back and forth a couple of times, but he insists that he needs to give us this information on his ship.

Ambergin insists on going with him. Leaf is now really excited about us coming with him “to meet the crew”. Archibald tries to convince him to come back to the inn with us first, to have a drink before we head for the ship. He agrees.

We get back to the Shattered Golem, and Leaf is like, “Oh, this is your inn? It’s kind of lame. But very nice!”

We get him a drink and he sips it slowly; Lithos pours a cup of tea. Whisper spikes his drink and we put him a room, and take the opportunity to sleep and restore our spells. Leaf suggests that we should probably wait until evening before heading back to the ship. We know he’s a member of the crew.

We spend some more time talking to him. He can help us, but he needs us to help him. He has this treasure map. It’s on the boat. If we help him get the treasure, he’ll tell us everything. We keep discussing: there’s this place called the Crypt of Trickery, also known as Durest’s Funhouse… and it’s built by a fan of Durest Inglorian. Leaf has a coinage problem, A bad one.

We decide to help him out by giving him some of Balin’s gems. Alderman Thunderbrew has stupidly posted two guards out front. They are not privy to what’s going on, and they are not at all smart. Archibald puts them to sleep with Lullabye, and Whisper slips into the house and retrieves the moonstones.

They have basically bullshitted his way through retrieving the moonstones.

Lithos: “How likely is Rose to try to kill us?”

“Not at all! Rose the Unmaiden? She would never–”

Yeah, she would. He starts laying out ship’s defenses, and where the map is (in the bow). Baldy: “This isn’t your map, is it?”

“Rose took it from me!”

So if we go at night, there’s a bar in the back. The bow has the lieutenant’s quarters, Rose’s quarters, and the brig. The brig doubles as the treasure chamber. Leaf is very enthused about his plan. He’s less enthused about our plan, but he agrees.

So our plan is basically that James and Whisper will break into the vault, while the rest of us come and be a distraction. Amergin leads the way, and one of the guards nods at him. Leaf is right behind him. One of the archers spots Leaf and looses an arrow at him: “You motherfucker It misses, but the archer calls: “It’s him! It’s the guy!”

Archibald moves up behind Leaf. One of the two city guards watching the customs house steps in and trips Leaf and puts the blade of the halberd to his throat: “Don’t you dare move!” 

Pirates: “Hey! That guy’s ours!”

Amergin: “We got him, we brought him, we got this.”

Leaf: “You motherfucker! You brought me here to steal the treasure map!”

Pirates: “Bring him here! Rose wants to meat with him! She’ll meet with you too!”

We march Leaf forward, and Amergin looks at Leaf: “You have one more chance.”

Meanwhile, another guard and a sorcerer emerge from the customs house. The sorcerer says that Rose laid a charge against him. He’s not that interested in the whole thing. Rose isn’t really a pirate or a smuggler, just a somewhat unsavory businesswoman.

So we all go marching forward, and Leaf keeps trying to hint that Archibald should raid the vault in the customs house. We walk into the party, and four or five of the dwarf pirates grab Leaf and drag him into a corner, where they restrain him. The two archers on the top and the two guards on the bow return to their posts.

Rose is clearly a swashbuckler type; she’s wearing very nice leather armor, probably magical. She’s got this fancy jeweled rapier, which she calls her thorn. The rest of the crew have either axes or bows. She leads with, “I must apologize that this pathetic excuse for a dwarf is the first introduction to the crew of my ship.” She seems super-nice. “So how did you get involved in his shenanigans?”

Baldy begins to tell the tale, and they’re just enraptured. Rose is impressed with the strange human. And, well, she wants help getting the treasure.

Meanwhile James and Whisper have reached the abandoned warehouse and slip past it to the shrine. They wait for a few minutes to study their movements. Then Whisper makes a distraction and James dashes across the final stretch of the dock and vaults through the porthole. He lands on the bed, where two of the lieutenants are going at it. One of them leaps up and grabs an axe, and James right back out the porthole. He climbs back up on the dock, then tries to sneak over to Whisper.

He fails and gets captured.

So we renegotiate a little bit, and Baldy gets with Rose. It’s a very… give-and-take sort of event, replete with marvelous devices and an Enlarge spell. Rose makes sure Leaf sees how Archibald comes limping out there, looks at Leaf, and says: “Tonight.”

Leaf collapses completely. “So Balin was in contact with this deep dwarf trader, a lady named Brinja: standoffish, with orange hair in a ponytail, no beard, pinkish skin; carries a short sword, a buckler, and a crossbow. The cargo was some huge wagon, but I didn’t see what was in it. Must have been heavy, because it took two large cave lizards to pull it. Balin was going to use it to win in the pits. So they went in with a thousand gold each, and they tried to offer Brindja 3,000. This trade came from the deep road, so she wouldn’t have gone through customs here, she’d have gone through customs in Deepwatch. She supposedly had a duergar bodyguard.” That would explain the extra set of tracks at the crime scene.

Archibald lays out what we know.

Alderman: “Oh! She went through customs at Deepwatch?”

“Can you send word?”

“And spend MONEY?”

Us: “YES.”

Brindja had declared a load of magma stone, and apparently her goods were inspected by a junior inspector, who marked her down as a large block of magma stone. She’s from Blackstone, which is an area that exports these sorts of stone. So either the inspector was on the take, or she has a stone cage, or an illusion.

We do some asking around, but nobody seems to be selling huge quantities of food. The main source of food around here is fish. Whisper is listening for anything that might be pertinent while tending the bar for a bit. Amergin checks the fish markets for large purchases, but learns nothing. Baldy checks with the road guards, but they don’t remember that wagon going out. We do hear a little about a weird red-headed dwarf woman with no facial hair.

Lithos talks to a wagonwright and learns a bit about how the big stonehauler wagons operate. After some checking, we find that there was another inn where a dwarf lady stayed with a big wagon, but she left two nights ago.

Our best bet is that it’s down by the water somewhere, so we go find Rose and Archibald asks her about wagons and transports. This dock has the customs house; we should go look at the other docks, the ones the smugglers use. We head over there and ask them. On the way there, we pass a side-passage. Someone has ditched a very large wagon there.

We go investigate. There is definitely a big square imprint in the back of this thing, like a stone block was sitting back there. There is no trace of food there. It looks like maybe a smaller cart was used to pull the slab down to the smugglers’ docks. Looks like a whole lot of people were involved in making the transport. We head down to the dock where it was taken.

Most of the vessels here are small, so they’d maybe take it out to a larger ship. So Jorin took a large stone out last night; Calaman told us. He was taking it… out to the Tainted Rose. We head back to find the Tainted Rose sailing away.

We go report to the Alderman and ask for a coast guard ship to carry us out. He has… one small local craft that he uses to deal with pirates and bandits. We’ll pick up there next time. 

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Challenge: Waiting Rooms

(This post is part of the Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge. You can find links to other writers' answers over at Long and Short Reviews. I have not been following along as reliably this year as I did in previous years, but I'm still participating! Sort of.)

Prompt: How I amuse myself in waiting rooms.

"I read books," he said, surprising exactly nobody, "or I tell myself stories, think about the stories I'm working on now." He patted the pouch on his belt. "And I turn off the television in the waiting room if I find it too annoying."

"...You do what?" she asked. 

"Turn off the television. There's always a television, it frequently has the volume up, and often there's nowhere you can reasonably escape it." 

"So you just... walk over there and turn it off?" 

"Sometimes," he admitted. "If nobody else seems to be watching it. But, well, a while back I stumbled on a mention of TV-B-Gone, and I ordered one. And it works on everything I've tried it on so far, including that one Wendy's that just won't turn off Fox News."

"But that's-- Okay, that actually sounds handy."

He shrugged. "It's situational, but it sure has been nice to have the option."

"Okay," the interviewer said, glancing down at the notepad in her lap. "Do you always write about yourself in the third person?"

"Only when I'm being interviewed in a waiting room."

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

The Lost Girl, part ten

"Hey, wolf?" 

Chris turned to see Morri walking over to him. "Yes?"

"I need a punching bag," she said. "You're supposed to be tough. You game?" 

Chris looked down at the his bag, which he'd tossed beside the thick trunk of a massive white pine, then looked back at her. "I was going to gather firewood," he said, with a slight shrug.

She glanced at Elyssa, then at Agatha. "Let the other two handle that," she said. "I need to work some energy off, or it's going to be a problem later."

Chris frowned, and glanced at Peter, who was in the process of setting up a small, hexagonal tent. 

"I'll spar with Peter if I have to," Morri said, more quietly. "He has phrases for it so I don't hurt him and he's almost enough of a challenge, but..." Her expression twisted. "...that isn't a real fight."

He looked to Antoinette, who met his eyes and lifted one hand, turning the palm up in a gesture that he took to mean that she wasn't sure what was going on but had no particular objection. 

"All right," he said. "Elyssa, Agatha, are you okay with finding firewood without me?"

Elyssa quirked a grin at him. "Is that even a question?" Agatha just nodded. 

Chris shrugged and turned back to Morri. "All right, you're on. Rules? I'm assuming no claws, no biting."

Morri shook her head. "No, that's not going to do it. I need a real fight. I want you try to kill me -- claws, fangs, whatever. No firearms, but anything else goes."

Chris frowned at that. Morri was nearly his own height and more heavily built, with a square musculature that carried no excess bulk. She wasn't a wolf -- there was no hint of animal musk in her scent -- but she was a registered outsider and likely had her own tricks. This whole thing could get completely out of hand frighteningly quickly. "Can you give me a better idea of what to expect?" he asked. "I don't mind bruises, but I don't want anything broken -- or anything else that might screw the assignment."

She smiled hungrily. "All right. You're going to attack me -- as yourself, as a wolf, as something in between. I don't care. I don't have claws, but I'm strong and I'm tough. I'm going to punch you, kick you, grab you. I might take you to the ground. Does that give you enough of an idea?"

Chris nodded slowly. "We should move outside of the camp for this."

"Can I watch?" asked Agatha. Elyssa looked curious as well; for that matter, so did Antoinette and Peter. 

"Fine," said Peter with a shrug. "Fighting first, campfire later."

Monday, February 26, 2024

The Lost Girl, part nine

Chris drew a deep breath and then released it. It was good to be out in the Grey again; he drew it in, let it fill him. He'd grown up in places like this, at one with the Grey or storing it inside himself to use inside the Mundus.

Beside him, Elyssa tasted the air, then shook her head again. The forest was rich with scents, but none of them indicated the way the caravan might have gone. Morri had dropped back, guarding their rear and leaving the two wolves to lead the way while the magi remained in the middle. 

They walked that way for over an hour, until the dirt road ran into the side of an ancient stone road and stopped. The shadows of the trees were growing darker; wherever they were, night was falling. 

"Any chance it failed to rain here?" asked Peter. 

Chris exchanged a look with Elyssa. They both shook their heads. 

"No wagon tracks, either," added Morri from behind him. 

Peter cursed softly. "All right. Follow me." He glanced up at the trees. "We'll probably have to make camp before too much longer anyway."

He turned left, his expression set as he passed them. Concentrating, Chris thought, but he didn't understand how that might work. Was Peter just focusing on Tammy Carterhaugh? Or...

Peter stepped off the road, and Chris and Elyssa followed him. What had seemed a mere break in the trees became a path, and then -- as they circled an ancient oak -- an extension of the stone road. It was definitely night now, and while that didn't bother Chris or Elyssa, Peter pulled up short. "We make camp here," he said. He glanced at Antoinette. "Can you lay down some wards?"

She spoke the word for light, shaping a glowing ball over her head. "Give me just a minute," she said. 

Friday, February 23, 2024

Dark Armor: The Emissary of the Second

They came out in the same receiving room where the scroll had deposited Pallian days earlier. He paused for a moment, orienting himself. Then he turned to Ashmiren. "I trust your judgement, Princess. Will you stay hidden until I have the Emissary's attention?"

The shadowy figure nodded. "If you can buy me a few minutes to get into position, I will take out everyone I can." She turned to Ember, and the nightmare gave them both a nod. "I will wait, I think, and follow your lead. I do not wish to destroy your troops by mistake."

"Our troops," said Dakrin Eld, "may be living or dead, wearing livery or not. Word on the Emissary and its troop is that each has two rubies decorating their armor: one on their forehead, and one over their heart."

Ember made a sort of awkward bow. "I will look for such enchantments," it said. 

The ghostly ancestor drifted to its side. "I'd like to stay with you for this battle," she said. "I can offer some guidance, and I suspect you'll afford me some protection."

"Guidance would be welcome," Ember told her, "and protection is easily provided."

She reached out and scratched it behind its ears in a manner that suggested that she definitely thought of the nightmare lord as some sort of half-feral pet cat, and Pallian was suddenly very glad that the helm hid his expression. 

"Very well," said Dakrin Eld. "We're inside now. Let's go find a battle. You lead, lad."

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Lithos: Something Almost, But Not Quite Entirely Unlike Tea (part one)

"What are you doing?" asked Pythia, with a puzzled almost-frown. 

Lithos didn't turn and yell at her, but it was a near thing; he was very frustrated. He was also very aware that his sister had no way of knowing that. He took a deep breath and sat back, looking at the cup on the table in front of him. 

The cup was small, even by his standards. And the brownish liquid inside it was... not what he'd had in mind. "I'm trying to make tea," he said, and scowled at the cup, "and failing abjectly at it."

Pythia looked, if anything, even more puzzled. "You're trying to cast a spell to create a cup of tea?" 

"There are no spells to create a cup of tea!" Lithos snapped. "I was trying to stretch my Prestidigitation into producing one."

Pythia's expression softened slightly. "May I?" she asked. 

"You'll regret it," Lithos told her. "I did. I mean, it's not poison, it's just..."

Pythia reached down, took the tiny cup, raised it to her lips, and took a cautious sip. She set it back down immediately. "You're right," she said. "That is nothing like tea." She frowned. "Well, almost nothing like tea."

"I know," he said mournfully. "I don't think Prestidigitation can do it."

"Well," said Pythia, then paused. "Have you considered a more... alchemical approach?"

"...You mean with boiling water and tea leaves?" asked Lithos. "I mean yes, if all I wanted was a cup of tea, that would of course work perfectly well. But what I want is to be able to conjure a cup of tea. Or a whole tea service."

Pythia dipped her head, accepting that. "You're clever," she said. "I'm sure you'll figure something out."

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Challenge: Pets!

(This post is part of the Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge. You can find links to other writers' answers over at Long and Short Reviews. I have not been following along as reliably this year as I did in previous years, but I'm still participating! Sort of.)

Prompt: Pets I used to have (or wish I could have)

Well... The pets in my life have generally been dogs or cats, with the notable exception of the Yard Turtles. (The yard turtles weren't really pets as such; they were a pair of turtles that we rescued from the road and relocated to our back yard, where they lived long lives of reptilian luxury. At least one of them had been hit by a car when we found it; possibly both.)

But if I could just wish for a pet and get it... I'd want a miniature dragon. Or, heck, an actual baby dragon! It could ride around on me while it was small, and then when it got older I could ride around on it.

...Might be a little hard to keep it fed, though. Hm. Okay, fine, miniature dragon, but I want it to breathe fire and ice and lightning and stuff. 

House insurance? Why would you be asking about house insurance?