So Crotchstomper McSnuggles went out into the back yard and found a dead bird. And of course, when Firstborn called him back inside, he brought it in with him. And the dog is not-well behaved when it comes to taking things away from him. (He'll play tug-of-war with rope and like that, but if he's stolen some food -- or a dead bird -- and you try to take it away from him, he will threaten to bite.) Right now, he's additionally crazed from having been stuck in the house with no walkies for the last three days.
The result of which, for now, is that the dog is in his kennel, the bird is outside of our back yard, and the grippy-claw thing that I was using to try to pick it up is broken... not because he tried to bite it, but because I immediately smacked him over the head with it when he did. It was clearly not designed for that.
So now I'm ordering another (hopefully tougher) gripper, and we're looking up additional dog training to teach him not to bite (and hopefully not to steal food), and the word "birdcicle" has been added to our household vocabulary.
Say what you will about being trapped in a snowstorm, but it's certainly not boring.