Me: Okay, we need a Christmas movie. How about Resident Evil?
Boys: No.
Me: Silent Hill?
Boys: No.
Me: Dead Space: Downfall?
Boys: No.
Me: Aliens?
Boys: No.
Firstborn: Star Wars.
Me: No, there is no Star Wars holiday movie.
Mommy: Lethal Weapon?
Boys: No.
Me: Rare Exports?
Boys: No.
Me: Santa's Slay? Or maybe it's Santa Slays?
Boys: No. Whichever, no.
Me: Dawn of the Dead?
Boys: No.
Firstborn: That will give me nightmares before Christmas.
What, no Die Hard?
ReplyDeleteI wasn't actually looking for Christmas movies. I was just traumatizing the children.
ReplyDeleteAhem... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_Holiday_Special
ReplyDeleteDunno what you're talking about. Ain't no such film. Just a persistent urban legend. Would have been cool if they'd ever made a Star Wars holiday special, but they didn't.
DeleteMust I? It's mentioned at http://www.conservapedia.com/Star_Wars#Television and those people neither lie nor have any sort of nefarious agenda.
Delete::sticks fingers in ears::
DeleteLA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Right... Lock and load...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4CtXcjib4o
No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!
DeleteI'll never join you!
I wish it wasn't true. I watched the first five minutes of it with the sound off and still emerged from the experience emotionally, spiritually and physically scarred for the remainder of my life. (Physically scarred because my fingers tried to scrape my eyeballs out of their sockets.) This is potent stuff and it *ought* to be banned but denying its existence only succeeds in allowing it to persist.
DeleteOkay, see, now I'm considering a short story where the real reason the Library of Alexandria burned was to erase the last remaining traces of the Odysseus And Friends Saturnalia Special.
ReplyDeletePsst... Alexandria... Greek. Odysseus... Greek. Saturnalia... *Roman*. Oh wait... I see your point now. Carry on.
Delete