Because I'm a parent...
...My backpack, in addition to my own things, now contains a pencil, a stick, and three shiny rocks.
...My head has been subjected to a game of Whack-A-Mole involving an enthusiastic eight-year-old with a Nerf zombie-slaying hammer and me sticking my head up out of the top of my t-shirt.
...I am not allowed to remove the giant pile of blankets in the bedroom doorway. It's either a mountain where a Jedi battle is taking place, "a bed", or both.
...I am now single-handedly responsible for the ongoing financial health of the Eggo Waffle company.
...I must immediately drop whatever I am doing if the five-year-old needs help with Lego Star Wars.
...50% of all parental dinner selections are automatically and completely wrong.
...I know far, far more about gaming videos on YouTube than I ever imagined possible.