Secondborn: (age 3.75) "Is because of waffles!"
Firstborn: (age 7.5) "It is not because of waffles."
Secondborn: "Is because of waffles!"
Firstborn: "What are they, cursed waffles?"
Me: (age 40) "Do not underestimate the power of cursed waffles! The nation of Guggenheim was destroyed by cursed waffles!"
Firstborn: "There is no nation of Guggenheim."
Me: "Because it was destroyed! By cursed waffles!"
Me: "Once upon a time there was a princess who came to the town of Guggenheim to meet the prince. They were supposed to have waffles together. But the prince decided that he didn't want to meet the princess, so he went off to eat... an omelette! All by himself! And the princess was left alone with the waffles, and she was very sad."
Me: "But what the prince didn't know what that princess wasn't just a princess. She was also a witch. She put a curse on all the waffles in the kingdom. The people who ate the waffles all thought that the prince was a putz."
Firstborn: "What's a putz?"
Me: "Someone they didn't like. Anyway, the waffles that didn't get eaten grew little tentacles all around the outside edges and scurried around and jumped on people's heads."
Firstborn: "Like headcrabs?"
Me: "Yeah, like headcrabs, except they didn't turn to the people into zombies. Instead they just stuck there, so instead of hair the people all had these waffle-patterns on top of their heads. After that, everybody was so mad at the prince that they burned down the castle, and then the whole city. And that's why Guggenheim doesn't exist anymore."
Firstborn: "Because of the curse waffles."