Friday, July 17, 2009

Irony is lost on spammers

I just received a message on one of my e-mail accounts. It was SPAM, of course. It said (corrected for spelling and oddly placed letters):

"How to Make Out With a Girl - In 44 Simple Steps."

Forty-four? Forty-four? Forty-four simple steps? What do they give you, a wall chart? (I'm now picturing some poor, hapless dweeb who ordered two - one instructional poster to go on the ceiling over the bed, and another to go on the headboard.) Or maybe the poor girl has to wait while he advances to the next Powerpoint slide?

(The e-mail also included a web address, which I won't repeat here since I'm certain that what it actually has to offer is a wide and intriguing selection of viruses, worms, and trojans. Or maybe, if you're lucky, all they'll do is take your order and then use the information to clean out your bank account.)

But really... Suppose I were insecure about my {ahem} romantic performance. Should I find it comforting to know that the simple method requires me to remember forty-four distinct steps? Gods above, what does the complicated method entail?

PG-13 answers in the comments, please. Extra points for originality.

1 comment:

  1. This cracked me up again to read about it!

    Wait, you skipped step 18!!


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