"It's not that we don't believe you," said the boss, "it's just that if you're out again you'll need to bring in a doctor's note."
Four hours later, Bob was roaming the street with blood in his mouth and a doctor's note in his hand. A pack of his fellow infected, his few remaining co-workers among them, hunted with him. As he caught the scent of their next victim, Bob had a brief moment of clarity: he remembered a time before he needed to hunt and feed with his packmates, and he wondered if HR regretted that idiotic sick-note policy.
My inner proofreader cringed, so I have some corrections:
ReplyDeleteFour hours later, Bob roaming the street with blood in his mouth, and a doctor's note in his hand. A pack[of] his fellow infected, his few remaining co-workers among them, hunted with him.
"Roaming" should either be "was roaming" or "roamed"; present participles can't stand alone as primary verbs. You should also note where I inserted the word "of."
Yeah, this is why I should proofread instead of just dashing something off and turning it loose. In my brain, he *was* roaming, but apparently my fingers went elsewhere.
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