How am I doing? Why, I'm lovely, thanks for asking! I mean, just look around you. The birds are shining in the sky! The sun is chirping happily in the trees! All the little squirrels dance and sing with joy on their way to school. Small children dart back and forth across the parking lot, chittering cheerfully to each other as they gather their nuts. And my voice! Just listen to my voice! It sounds as if I've either just hit puberty, or started gargling broken glass! It's a full octave deeper, and rough enough to sound positively demonic!
What? Tired? No, not at all! Bushy-eyed and bright-tailed, that's me! All ready meet my new project, and start new people! As long as I don't have to actually talk to them. The projects, I mean. Or the people. I got plenty of cats last night, and the sleep didn't wake me up at all! It's just that making words so people can hear them kind of, um, makes me cough uncontrollably. But that's a real thing, smally!
So don't worry. I'll just site writ here in my computer, boot up my chair, and get to work!
Would this be a good time to mention that I always misread "autotonsorialist" as "autosartorialist"?
ReplyDeleteLike, it could plausibly be self-deprecating humor, as if bragging about occasionally dressing oneself, and then I have to remind myself that no, it's something completely different.
Yeah, well, given the particular way in which I dress myself - by which I mean my nearly complete blindness to taste, coordination, or fashion - well... the fact that I don't let the servants choose my wardrobe and dress me daily isn't really anything to be proud of.
ReplyDeleteWhat? Are you saying that bots have better taste than you?
ReplyDeleteWell, not bots in particular. Anything has better taste than me.
ReplyDeleteI was a goth back in high school, not because I knew what a goth actually was (or because I'd even heard the word, for that matter - I hadn't) but because I came to the realization that if everything in my closet was black, charcoal gray, or maybe a very a dark, solid green, it would always match.