Music: Information

What am I listening to this morning? Glad you asked. Here's Eliot Sumner with Information:

Adventure Has Two Names, Actually

My father and I took the boys to the park on Sunday. I have photographs.

Firstborn relaxes on the rocks:

Firstborn charges his father:

Secondborn leaps to the rocks:

Secondborn hangs on the rocks:

Secondborn considers a nap:

Yesterday... was a good day.

In Bed

On my way into work this morning, I found a fortune (from a fortune cookie) in the pocket of my jacket. It said:

You skills will accomplish what the force of many cannot...
...in bed.

Okay, then.

Venger Needs A Better Strategy

A few years back, in a fit of nostalgia, I purchased a DVD with the first season or so of the old Dungeons & Dragons cartoon (caution: YouTube video). (You can read about the history of the show here.) Two days ago, Firstborn stumbled onto the DVD and started watching it.

The first time I re-watched it, it occurred to me that I'd badly misjudged Eric, the Cowardly Cavalier. Sure, he was obnoxious; sure, he was constantly complaining; sure, he was often trying to get the group to avoid walking directly into the most dangerous areas around. Sure, he criticized Dungeon Master for giving vague (and unhelpful) hints and riddles instead of actual guidance, and for disappearing when the group could most use his help. Thing is, he was very frequently right.

This time, watching it with the boys, it occurs to me that Venger is missing a really obvious opening. I mean, he keeps sending monsters after the kids, or setting traps for them, or using his magic to try to trick them. And I suppose, since Venger is "The Many Faces Of Evil" that such things kind of go with the job description.

But The Many Faces Of Evil would probably have gotten better results if he'd just shown up, introduced himself, and said: "Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot, and that's totally my fault. I was thinking of you as enemies, but it doesn't have to be that way. Why don't you come work for me, instead? I promise that I won't send you anywhere without telling you exactly where you're going and why. It won't just be vague riddles that cause more trouble than they prevent - I'll give you real information. At the end of the year, you turn your weapons over to me and I will see to it that you all return safely to your home. In the meantime, you'll receive generous salaries. You'll sleep in well-appointed houses - or all in one big house, if you prefer - with comfortable beds, excellent food, and hot running water. What do you say? It's all here in the contract, just sign at the bottom."

With an offer like that, I'm thinking that at least half the group would have turned on Dungeon Master in a heartbeat.

100 Truths About Me

...Because I'm brain-dead, and I saw this on Facebook. and why not?

100 Truths about me!
1. Real name: ...Never appears online if I can help it. I grew up in the era of the Great Paranoia About The Internet. Besides, in some ways I'm more Michael Mock than I am my IRL identity.
2. Nickname: Yeah, no. I've used a few handles online (especially back in the day, when that was thing) but the closest thing I've ever had to a nickname was "the wind", which was coined by a guy on my hall in the dorm at college, because I kept appearing or leaving without him noticing. I maintain that it's not my fault that he wasn't paying attention.
3. Favorite color: Meh? Green, black, gray, silver... in roughly that order?
4. Male or female: Male, but not too worried about it.
5. Elementary school: True story - my mother had me placed in ESL for first and second grade. She knew I was a weird kid, and figured I'd do better with teachers who were busy with other things. No, I don't really get it, either. But I spent my first two years of formal schooling in a setting where half the time I didn't understand the language.
6. Middle school: An odd little private school in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex.
7. High school: An odd little private school in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. I graduated at sixteen.
8. College: Two years at one college, which I've written about here and there; then I transferred and finished up at another college (with a major in English and a minor in Anthropology - would have been the other way around if that had been possible). Then I got a Master's Degree in English. Naturally, after a couple of years of being nearly unemployable, I got a job in IT.
9.Hair color: Used to be a brown so dark it was nearly black. Now it's gray -- I blame the boys for that. I hold to the hope that this makes me look distinguished, respectable, or at least mildly reliable, but I'm not counting on it.
10. Tall or short: Almost exactly average.
11. Sweats or jeans: Cargo pants all the way, baby! (Seriously, I need the pockets. Being a father has only made this worse.)
12. Phone or camera: Are there phones that aren't cameras? I have both, regardless.
13. Health freak: No, not really. As long as my body does what I want it to do (which sometimes includes, say, climbing, and sometimes includes, say, lying around reading for hours) I'm good.
14. Orange or apple: Apple.
15. Do you have a crush on someone: I know I'm supposed to say "my wife", but actually no. What I feel for the Beautiful Woman isn't a crush, and while I occasionally get crushes on people they tend to fade pretty fast since I have no interest in actually pursuing them.
16. Guy friends or girl friends: Yes, sure, absolutely. Oddly enough, I think I have more friends (and more close friends) online than in meatspace, but the guys/girls numbers are pretty even.
17. Piercings: My left ear used to have two piercings, but they've long since grown closed.
18. Pepsi or coke: Meh. Mostly Sprite these days, and that only with rum. Tea, though. Lots and lots of tea.
19. Have you been in an airplane: Yes.
20. Have you been in a relationship: Yes.
21. Have you been in a car accident: Yes.
22. Have you been in a fist fight: Yes.
23. First piercing: Left ear. My mom was strangely appalled, considering that she'd given me permission to get it done.
24. Best Friend: At this point, the Beautiful Woman - hands down. Runner up would be one of my college friends, who appears in some of my fiction as Rook or Raven.
25. First award:...No idea. I lettered in track in my tiny-as-hell little private school. I might have won a Pinewood Derby at some point, or not. I wasn't much for awards.
26. First crush: Dorcy Siegel, who was in sixth grade while I was still in fifth IIRC. She could do a standing back flip, without mats or trampolines or anything. If you're thinking that I was probably to young to appreciate what a crush was or what to do about it at that age, you'd be absolutely right.
27. First word: I didn't speak until I was seven years old. My parents thought there was something horribly wrong with me, and kept taking me to specialists, until one night at dinner I looked at my father and said, "Pass the salt, please." Just hadn't had anything to contribute until then. (I might or might not be making this up.)
28. Any talent: Climbing. Falling and not dying. Some talent for writing, for putting things into words that resonate with other people.
29. Last person you talked to: Secondborn, age six.
30. Last person you texted: ...No idea. Probably the Beautiful Woman, but possibly my boss. Machete don't text.
31. Last person you watched a movie with: Beautiful Woman and the boys. The move was Real Genius.
32. Last thing you ate: Pizza, because I'm wild like that.
33. Last movie/ TV show you watched: I was going to put on Final Fantasy - Advent Children, but the boys found a DVD with the old Dungeons & Dragon cartoon, so we wound up watching that.
34. Last song you listened to: You Want It Darker by Leonard Cohen.
35. Last thing you bought: A dinner from Arby's for the family.
36. Last person you hugged: The Beautiful Woman
Favorite:
37. Food: Spicy, probably Genghis Grill (I eat there a lot)
38. Drink: Tea. If we presuppose alchohol, then I vary between rums, Irish whiskeys, and Jack Daniels - often with Sprite.
39. Bottoms: I cannot think of an answer to this that isn't wildly off-color. Pants are for wimps.
40. Flower: Man-Eating Daffodils
41. Animal: Owls, Cougars, Wolves, Tigers, Panthers, Ocelots. Plus a lot of really odd ones, like tardigrades and sea cucumbers and dimetrodons.
42. Color: Didn't we cover this already? Arguably green, but it gets darker from there.
43. Movie: No single film. I like a lot of really bad horror movies, but I have selections for Christmas, Action, Fantasy, and Science Fiction as well. If you want a single suggestion, try Solomon Kane (Sword & Sorcery) or Dead Shadows (French, Lovecraftian horror)
44. Subject: Fantasy, Science Fiction, horror, general geekery, history.
Have you ever? (Put an X in the brackets if yes.)
45. [X] fallen in love with someone
46. [X] celebrated Halloween
47. [X] Had your heart broken
48. [] went over the minutes/ texts on your phone
49. [X] had someone like you
50. [X] hated the way someone changed
51. [] got pg - Yeah, that's not mechanically possible for me, but I do have kids.
52. [] had an abortion - Ditto.
53. [X] did something you regret - Can you make to any sort of human self-awareness without doing this? Serious philosophical/theological question, here.
54. [X] broken a promise
55. [X] hid a secret
56. [X] pretend to be happy
57. [X] met someone who has changed to your life
58. [] pretended to be sick - Seems possible, but I don't think so and if I did I don't remember. Generally, when I say I'm sick it's because I'm sick.
59. [X] left the country
60. [X] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it - Fish. I hate fish. Turns out, as of about a decade ago, that I really like sushi though.
61. [X] cried over the silliest thing - Oh God, you have no idea. Mamma Mia. Children's movies. That moment in Saved when the mom starts getting the questions right. Lilo and Stitch, with "This is my family..." The very end of Music & Lyrics. I have no defenses, here.
62. [X] ran a mile - I ran track. A mile was trivial. Three miles was easy. 400 meters, on the other hand, was sheer hell.
63. [] gone to the beach with your best friend - Maybe? Sort of? Not really.
64. [X] gotten into an argument with your friends - Of course.
65. [X] disliked someone - FFS. Yes, of course.
66. [] stayed single for two years since the first time you had a bf/gf or been single forever - I don't think so.
Currently:
67. Eating: No.
68. Drinking: Yes.
69. Listening to: More Leonard Cohen. We've moved on to Traveling Light.
70. Sitting or laying: Sitting. Easier to type this way.
71. Plans for today: It's 10:30 at night. I'm going the hell to ed.
72. Waiting for: Vast Supernatural Powers.
73. Want kids: Not any more - I have two, and they're awesome.
74. Want to get married: Not any more - married the Beautiful Woman, and she's awesome.
75. Want to travel: Yes, please.
What do you look for in a partner?
76. Lips or eyes: Eyes? If I were looking.
77. Shorter or taller: Whatever. If I were looking.
78. Younger or older: Whatever. If I were looking.
79. Romantic or spontaneous: This seems like an odd distinction. I tend to get interested in people slowly, which I don't think falls into either category. But again, that would only matter if I were still looking.
80. Trouble-maker or hesitant: I'd probably fall under "hesitant", but it's actually that I'm very, very tolerant right up to the point where I'm not.
81. Hook up or relationship: They both have their merits, but at this point I'm married and utterly devoted. I realize that to some people that means I'm a "beta" or possibly a "cuck" but those aren't people whose opinions matter.
82. Looks or personality: Fucksake. Yes. Both. I'm well aware that personality is the more fundamental, but I'm not naive enough to pretend that looks don't matter.
Have you ever:
83. Lost glasses: Oddly, no.
84. Snuck out of the house: Heh. Yes. Those were some stories.
85. Held a gun/ knife in self defense: No.
86. Killed somebody: No.
87. Broke someone's heart: Yes.
88. Been in love: Yes.
89. Cried when someone dies: Oh, HELL yes.
Do you believe in:
90. Yourself: Of course.
91. Miracles: Not in the general sense.
92. Love at first sight: Not exactly, no.
93. Heaven: No.
94. Santa Claus: Of course. I am Santa Claus (at least for one small spot in the world).
95. Aliens: Possible.
96. Ghosts/ angels: No.
Truthfully?
97. Is there one person you really want to be with right now: Yes, and she's currently in the bathtub.
98. Do you know who your real friends are: Absolutely.
99. Do you believe in God: Not a bit of it. And that isn't a choice; it's a conclusion, based on best analysis I can make of the best information I have available.
100. Post as 100 Truths: Is this a question? I mean, yes, I did, and I've answered honestly.

Post-Sick

So, I'm at the stage where the horrible head cold has mostly gone away, but I'm still low on energy and have a bit of a lingering cough which is making it difficult to get a full night's sleep. I'm not sick, but I'm definitely not well yet, either. Surreal Situations should update sometime tomorrow and again on Friday. Meanwhile, I have to focus on some things here at work, and if I do get some energy back I'm going to work on the zero-draft of the Unpublished Dark Fantasy Novel. (Well, energy and time. It's the scheduling that breaks me, I swear.)

All that to say, basically, that the Blog O' Doom here may be a bit more quiet than usual.

Music: Barrels of Whiskey

The O'Reillys and the Paddyhats: