Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Santa's Elves... and Dwarves

"So Legolas, I hear you retired to the Icy North?" 

"Just so." 

"Enjoying yourself up there?" 

"Certainly, Gimli. It's a... working retirement." 


"Well, there's this wizard... Santa, the Red. And there are vampires who threaten his home and his people." 


"Well, it turns out that an arrow through the heart works just as well as a stake through the heart." 

"You're fighting vampires in the Icy North!?!?! And ye didn't tell me???" 

"It was meant to be a rest home." 

"A stake through the heart is fine, but no elf can take down as many vampires as a dwarf!" 

"How do you mean?" 

"If you chop off their heads..." 

"...and stuff their mouths with holy wafers...

"...and stuff their mouths with holy wafers... I... I'm going to need a lot of holy wafers." 


"So it's a bet, then?" 

"May the best Dwarf win!"

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