Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Notes from the Mad Science Lab: Survey Question

I'm working on a project, and I believe I'm close to a major breakthrough that could inestimably benefit humanity and - not incidentally - make me filthy rich. But before I start building prototypes and conducting experiments, I thought I'd do a quick bit of market research. So I turn to you: my fans, followers, minions, apprentices, and fellow Mad Scientists.

Would you be willing to undertake a process that could easily double (perhaps triple) your personal intelligence, and quite possibly give you psychic powers, if it meant that your skull would become half again as wide as it is currently, and that your newly-enhanced brain would be forever visible beneath a clear dome covering the top of your head?

Your input is appreciated.


  1. [Professor Farnsworth]Oh my, Yes![/professor farnsworth]

  2. So what's the catch? Is the clear dome fragile? Is there a chance the procedure will backfire and leave the subject vegetative or mad in a non-SCIENCE!!!!! way? Is the ensuing telepathy power-incontinent? Will you implant an additional mind-control and/or perception-capturing spy chip, to be activated at your leisure? Will you provide new hats, helmets, and other headgear to go with the new head? Put the "informed" in informed consent!

  3. No, the only side effect is that it... well... looks funny. The dome itself is at least as tough as a human skull, and firmly attached to the remaining bone below it. I've sketched out the design in considerable detail, and I'm certain that nothing will go wrong with it.

    I will leave the vagaries of dome-headed fashion to the free market, since that is far from my area of expertise.

  4. Why a clear dome? Do you need to be able to see the brain? Can we not cover it with some hair? I'll have to think about this a bit. Maybe I'm more vain than I realized, but I'm not certain I'm willing to become a side-show freak, well...more of a side-show freak, to benefit this science.

  5. It's a critical part of the cooling requirements - otherwise I'd have to run pipes through the skull (with the attendant structural weakening), and find some way to mount inconveniently large cooling equipment on your back. No, I'm afraid the clear dome is the only way to go.

  6. Would the process clear up mild-moderate mental health issues like depression and social anxiety? Because finding a job as a reasonably smart person with brain chemistry issues is already pretty challenging. I imagine looking funny would add to that dysfunction, regardless of how freaky smart I was after.

    Also I'm very vain so I'd like to function better if I'm going to look really odd.

    Randomly; is solar radiation potentially harmful to the grey matter? Is the dome shielded like sunglasses or something?

  7. Hm... Mental health issues...
    Well, not intrinsically, but since we're restructuring the brain I'm sure we could work something in.

    Good point on the solar radiation - I'll have to make sure the membrane over the brain proper is adequate protection. Or we'll have to be superintelligent post-human beings living underground.


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