Challenge: Aliens

(This post is part of the Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge. You can find links to other writers' answers over at Long and Short Reviews.)

Prompt: Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not?

Since I assume we're talking life on other planets, I'm going to point out that actually I think this is a surprisingly complex question. 

First up: is there life on other planets? Well, it's hard to guess what the odds might be when our sample size is basically just our own solar system, but even if the odds of life developing on a planet are vanishingly slim, there are still a lot of planets out there. So if I have to guess, I'm going to say, "Yeah, probably." 

The same goes for intelligent life: it just seems unlikely to me that Earth is the only place in the entire Universe where this has happened. Intelligence isn't a fixed quality and honestly, human beings are frequently very bad at recognizing it when it doesn't look the way we expect, but intelligent life in general? "Yeah, probably." 

So that brings us to the next question: do I believe in aliens who actively travel through space, and do I think they've visited Earth? And the answer, again, is complicated. 

Because yes, we know as an absolute fact that aliens have visited Mars and left evidence of their advanced technology there. We know, because we are the aliens who did that. So we know that if intelligent life exists, it is possible for it to travel to other planets. We've done it ourselves. 

So why aren't there aliens everywhere? Why haven't we seen any, met any, shaken appendages with any? I suspect it's because the universe is truly, ridiculously vast, and the speed of light is an absolute limit. Otherwise, whatever species first developed a trick for faster-than-light travel -- and statistically, it wouldn't have been us and it was probably a very long time ago -- would have been able to spread freely across the galaxy, at the very least. (This line of thinking is based on several questionable assumptions, but it's the one that seems reasonable to me.)

In case you need more #CosmologyFunFacts to break your brain, did you know that there are distant galaxies that are currently receding from us faster than the speed of light (due to cosmic expansion), and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, and yet we have pictures of them? 🙃 https://t.co/R1XaddwVXq

— Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) April 23, 2022

So yeah, I think that alien life probably exists, and I think it's even possible that we might someday make contact with it -- but that would require a concentrated effort to transport human beings across mind-numbing distances to a large enough number of worlds to find it. (Or, alternatively, an alien race that had made a concentrated effort to transport its species to enough different worlds that they finally happened upon us.) And given our biases, we still might fail to realize that what we'd encountered was intelligent or even alive. 

...Which is honestly a little more cynical and depressing than I meant be when I started writing this out.

So let me just add that if I'm wrong about Earth never having been visited by extraterrestrials -- if you, yourself, are an extraterrestrial and happen to be reading this -- well, I believe in you, Alien Buddy. You've got this. You can get things done! So go on out there and have a really good day.

Whence Came This Tupperware?

Responding to this writing prompt from Lilith Saintcrow...

I'll just drop it here, pulsed Heerath, setting the scanner between a rock and one of the oddly-tall local plants, by the side of one of the human roads.

What? Nebath pulsed back. Don't do that. It's right out in the open.

That's why we shaped it, remember? Heerath felt its antennae flex with annoyance. It looks just like one of their artifacts.

Do you even know what kind of artifact it resembles? Nebath had turned, creating a faint shimmer in the air despite the best efforts of its active camouflage. One of the humans was approaching rapidly, accompanied by one of the various domestic animals that the race apparently cultivated. If it's shaped to resemble their detritus, they'll likely dispose of it. If it's shaped to resemble something useful, they'll take it for their own use. They're not going to just leave it lying there.

Heerath rippled its tendrils in irritation. Esteemed Xenosociologist Teer selected this shape as one of the items that the humans would ignore. Of course, Esteemed Xenosociologist Teer also theorized that the humans kept these other species around for religious reasons, and Heerath felt pretty safe in assuming that meant that the xenosociologist had no idea why the humans seemed to prefer to live with lower lifeforms. Explorers were forbidden to argue with any of the Prime, but that didn't mean that Esteemed Xenosociologist Teer had any idea what he was talking about.

Nebath didn't argue, though. The human approaches, it pulsed back. We'll know soon enough.

They backed away, moving across the street. The denizens of this world had a very limited sensory range, and their active camouflage should have kept them undetectable; but every explorer had been trained with the reflex that distance equated to safety when confronted with the unknown. As far as Heerath was concerned, there was far too much about this world that fell into that category, and Nebath evidently agreed.

The human slowed, then stopped and looked down at the scanner.

I told you, pulsed Nebath.

Heerath sent back the brief, minuscule pulse that demanded silence.

The human stood for a long moment, regarding the scanner. Doubtless the xenobiology cohort was ecstatic, in their analysis-space back on the ship. So much data, gathered at such close range...

The quadruped made a little hopping motion, pulling at the strand that connected it to the human's manipulator, and the human glanced at it. Then the human turned its head back to the scanner and pulled a device from its belt. Something flickered, and Heerath and Nebath both made themselves very still.

Then the quadruped pulled ahead, and this time the human went along with it.

What was that? Heerath knew it sounded nervous.

Neerath curled its tendrils. A brief flare of electromagnetic radiation in a very tight set of wavelengths.

Did it just... Heerath paused, considering the implications. Did it just scan our scanner?

I think so, yes.

Using what?

Nebath rippled its tendrils, the gesture puzzled and slightly frantic. I don't know. A burst of electromagnetic on that frequency wouldn't penetrate much of anything, but I didn't detect whatever else it was using.

This is bad. Heerath settled its tendrils by an act of will. All right, we're going to abort. I'll retrieve the scanner. You call for extraction.

Agreed, pulsed Nebath, then began configuring itself for a deep pulse. Heerath crossed the street and lifted the scanner, risking a momentary break in its active camouflage so it could conceal the scanner underneath. By the time Nebath had finished the call, Heerath had returned and was waiting.

They had only a brief wait. The scout ship settled over them, its cone-shape rendered theoretically undetectable by its own active camouflage. It manifested a floor beneath them, and began a cautious ascent back to the August Science Vessel. I'll inform the Primes that we must make a full withdrawal, pulsed Heerath. This planet is dangerous.

I offer my ardent agreement to your assessment, Nebath pulsed back. As far as Heerath was concerned, that settled the matter. An Explorer Second could offer correction, provide additional insights, or outright disagree with the conclusions of an Explorer First, but a unanimous finding would not be ignored even by the Primes. The study would be abandoned, the planet marked as unacceptably dangerous, and the August Science Vessel withdrawn to study some safer prospect.

A brief wind stirred the dust on the street below. Somewhere, a dog was barking.

Real Work Conversations: Infiltrating The Humans

Me: "LV-426, we need to discuss your behavior among the Earth-humans. There is a thing they do, called 'sleep'..."

My boss: "Yeah. Let me know how that works out for you."

Me: "If you fail to 'sleep' while you are among them, they will realize that you are not one of them. Also, your biomorphic disguise requires this 'sleep' in order to function efficiently."

My boss: {snorts in a vaguely amused manner}

Me: "That is all, LV-426. You may return to your research. Ruaxor prevails."

Notes from the Mad Science Lab: Cuddles Versus Facehugger

One of my friends... Well, okay, he's not exactly a friend.

One of my fellow researchers... Well, okay, there isn't too much fellowship there.

One of my rivals... Yes, that about covers it. A few weeks back, one of my rivals stayed up late watching every single Alien movie ever made. (He may also have been drinking at the time.) When he was done, he went back to his laboratory (with, I suspect, a drink still in his hand) and fired up his gene sequencer.

Five days later, the pills he'd been taking finally wore off, and he dragged himself to bed and slept for three days straight -- but not before sending me the results of his work, for independent verification. That, after all, is how the scientific process works: you share your results so that others can check them for errors, or confirm your conclusions. In this case, Doctor X (not his real name) believed that he had successfully created a being which reproduced the life cycle (though not the full acid-for-blood physiology) of the Xenomorph from the movies. So, naturally, he sent it to me in order to have a competent scientist check his results.

Or possibly he was just trying to kill me.

Either way, the package arrived intact, and I brought it down to the lab. Naturally, I placed it in the Cryptozoo and left orders for my assistant, Jeffries, to open it up and situate it near the buffadillo pen.

Now, Jeffries is in most ways an exemplary assistant. However, he has an enthusiastic interest -- actually, more of a monomaniacal obsession -- with safety precautions. Everything he does for me requires, at the very least, three times as long as it would have for any of my previous assistants. I firmly believe that were he ever to be placed in charge of OSHA, in less than two weeks his elaborate and comprehensive safety requirements would paralyze all production within the continental United States. Still, this is his only noteworthy flaw, and he has remained under my tutelage for at least twice as long as any of his predecessors, so I am willing to grant him a little leeway.

And, when he reported that the egg was in place, I was fully confident that the arrangements were just as he had said. He is nothing if not meticulous. And, I wish to be clear, what happened next was in no way his fault. Jeffries is not responsible for the physical maintenance of the Cryptozoo, nor does he monitor Cuddles.

So the fact that Cuddles broke the door which separates his area from the rest of the cryptozoo, made a beeline for the buffadillo pen, and for his troubles received a faceful of genetically-engineered prototype Xenomorph can not, in any way, be blamed on Jeffries. No, that responsibility falls squarely on the now-rotting shoulders of Mr. Howell, my cryptozookeeper. Naturally, I would fire the knave, but it's more than little bit too late for that now. You see, the Xenomorph was designed to gestate inside a living host of approximately human mass. And, so far as I can tell, it worked very much as designed.

Cuddles, however, is undead. And now so is the small-but-mobile worm that burst from his chest. I am, of course, deeply disappointed.

Oh, I'm not worried about the buffadillos; I can create more of them. Nor am I especially concerned about Mr. Howell, who clearly deserved his fate. And Cuddles, of course, is fine -- one more hole makes no difference to the zombie velociraptor. No, the true tragedy is that owing to its experience with Cuddles, I will not be able to see if the Xenomorph would have have grown into a full-sized warrior-drone.

Also, I have a foot-long undead worm rattling around in the vents and pipes that surround the cryptozoo.

Have no fear on that account, however. Jeffries has promised to capture the beast... just as soon as he can figure out how to do so safely.

Didn't see that nightmare coming...

The nightmare: There's a monster, probably an alien, that's been creeping around eating people. I am on a train trying to get away from it, or trying to get to help. There is some reason to suspect that it might be following us or on the train with us.

The creepy part: I am in some sort of dining car on the train and talking to my friend. I ask him if he's planning to eat all of the rather large steak on the plate in front of him. He says, "Yeah, that would be tragic, wouldn't it, if I ate my whole steak?" At this point the lights go out, for about the duration of his sentence - we've passed through a tunnel or something.

When the lights come back on, I am staring at his head and the head of another of our friends. Their bodies are gone. Their heads are mounted on the wall, looking down in my general direction. They are part of a large, fleshy mass that is suspended across the ceiling and hanging down partway onto the walls.

This freaks me out sufficiently that my brain insists on ducking down under the table, scooting it over to the door of the train, and jumping off the moving train - complete with tuck, roll, and hope-nothing-breaks landing sequence. I am actually picking myself up and checking myself for injuries in the grass beside the train tracks before my brain will let me wake up.

The REALLY creepy part: I wake up and realize that out here in the real world, something soft and gentle is touching my face. Apparently I am sleeping in Firstborn's bed, and he has rolled over and put a hand out.

Despite the fact that it's only 11:30 or so at night, and I have spent the entire day - and, as a matter of fact, most of this week - so completely exhausted that I could barely see straight... Despite that, I am now wide awake.

Yeah. Thanks, kid. I needed that.

Weird dreams: alien invasion

So the aliens took over and enslaved humanity. And I was wandering around looking for my family in the aftermath, which at one point involved going into the home of one of the aliens and pretending to be just another slave looking for work. Only this particular alien was more sympathetic to humanity, and treated her people more like servants than slaves.

Also, the aliens looked exactly like people (though they acted a little different). I had the impression that they weren't a different species so much as people infected with a particular alien parasite that made it so that their first loyalty was to other infected people. So they were still using human brains to think, and there was some individuation in personalities.

I probably should have known that already, but apparently I'd missed out on the invasion itself... probably because of being in that massive plane-crash. I'd survived the crash because I was substantially tougher and stronger than ordinary human beings (no idea why). I remember being really careful to make sure that the aliens didn't find that out.

Unfortunately, I didn't stay asleep (or stay in that dream, whichever) long enough to find my family or do anything about the aliens. But it was a nice setup for what could have been an interesting story...