Tuesday, September 18, 2018

How's your morning?

Co-worker: "How's your morning going?"

Me: "..."
Me: "...So, let's just get down to business, then."

Co-worker: "Ooookay, then."

I'm still just worn out, is the actual answer. Like, I'm not sick, but my sinuses are still weirded out from the airline travel, and I think my ears are trying to decide whether they develop infections or just let it pass. Then, of course, there was last week's conference -- where people from all over the country brought together their knowledge, expertise, and germs.

::sigh::

Plus, Secondborn's still recovering from the flu. So basically, getting everybody up and out the door and getting myself to work has worn me out. Hopefully I can take it easy for the rest of today, though -- and tonight's definitely going to be an early bedtime.

Secondborn Dances On My Last Nerve

I swear, that child has given me a whole new benchmark for the concept of "exasperation". If he were a soda pop, he'd be exasparailla.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Mundane Magic Items

As you probably know if you've been following this blog, I've finally gotten back to playing Dungeons and Dragons. This has naturally gotten me to thinking about magic items. Now, D'n'D has a long (and ever-growing) list of magical items, but it also has a distinct emphasis on adventuring equipment and particularly combat. And honestly, that seems to be the case in a lot of fantasy worlds: it's easy to find a legendary magical sword, or even have one made, but nobody ever seems to be out there getting rich by making the sort of things that people can actually use. You know, in their daily life, when the only Orc they've ever met is the head cook at Mama's Diner, and spends half his time reminding the kobolds to wash the dishes.

So, with that imbalance in mind, I submit to you a list of Mundane Magic Items: minor items, generally useless for combat, but exactly the sort of things that an enterprising Enchanter could get filthy rich selling in bulk to the general public.
-A stone that heats water
-A pot or pan that cooks anything placed within it
-An enchanted broom that sweeps and dusts when a command word is spoken
-A Decanter of Endless Honey (useful for sweetening your water elementals)
-A small sundial brooch that reminds you of appointments
-A small cloth square that will clean *anything* (I would have killed for this after that last battle in the sewer)
-Ring or Amulet of Insect Repulsion
-Umbrella of Feather Fall (also keeps rain off)
-A vial of paint that glows in the dark
-Goblet of Drink Chilling
-Box of Food Preservation
-Wall-Mending Putty which changes its surface to match the texture and paint around it
-A plow that turns any stones it hits into rich, aerated soil
-A small glyph that can be attached to anything, and answers when you call out to it
-Bottomless Chamberpot (dumps your cess into an extra-dimensional void, so it never needs to be emptied or cleaned!)

What other helpful magical gizmos should a magic-rich world have available?

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Oops...

I just realized I haven't been posting.

This would be because I've been at a conference all week.

I've been thinking about plots and storylines, and all the things I want to write, and it's well past time to take one and really dig into it. Not start on it (I've already done that), not think it through (done that already, too), just set up a regular time every day and write.

I have no idea how to schedule that, but I think setting myself a couple of rules will be a good start:
1. I only get to read if I can't be writing.
2. I only get to play video games when I finish writing.

Here's hoping that simple, dumb systems are the key to success!

Monday, September 10, 2018

One for the 90s kids in the room

I think it's been about a week since she looked at me, cocked her head to the side, and said she was angry. Two days after that she told to come back and see her once I'd gotten it together. Then three days ago I realized it was my fault, but I couldn't tell her. All things considered, I'm surprisingly sure that it'll be another two days before I apologize.

Friday, September 7, 2018

Music: Wish You Were Here

I'm heading off to a conference next week, so I'll leave you with Cody Jinks and this lovely bit of country music:


And hey, have a special bonus song! This one's performed by Luther Wright & The Wrongs:

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Music: Skeleton Key

by Dessa Darling, and if you aren't already familiar with her music you should listen to it -- all of it.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Music Commentary: Dodging the Question

I've been told before that one of the big issues with me and music is that I actually listen to the lyrics. Today's example comes from a band called Florida Georgia Line, with a song called "Meant To Be". (It seems to be on YouTube here, except this isn't the version that I keep hearing on the radio - even some of the Who Sings Which Piece Of The Lyrics is off.)

Anyway, there's a point in the song where the girl talks about her previous experiences with dating and expresses her concerns with continuing to date:

I don't mean to be so uptight, but my heart's been hurt a couple times
By a couple guys that didn't treat me right
I ain't gon' lie, ain't gonna lie
'Cause I'm tired of the fake love, show me what you're made of
Boy, make me believe


But the boy in the song just sidesteps the question, and the girl (by joining him for the vocals on the chorus) just seems to go along with it:

But hold up, girl, don't you know you're beautiful?
And it's easy to see
If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be


This... bothers me. She says she's worried about getting hurt, and your response is "Don't you know you're beautiful"? Yeah, not helping.

So I propose the following alternative lyrics:

It's okay, girl, we can take it easy now
While you get to know me
If it's meant to be... (etc.)


Monday, September 3, 2018

Short Fiction: Sick Note

"It's not that we don't believe you," said the boss, "it's just that if you're out again you'll need to bring in a doctor's note."

Four hours later, Bob was roaming the street with blood in his mouth and a doctor's note in his hand. A pack of his fellow infected, his few remaining co-workers among them, hunted with him. As he caught the scent of their next victim, Bob had a brief moment of clarity: he remembered a time before he needed to hunt and feed with his packmates, and he wondered if HR regretted that idiotic sick-note policy.