Well, Christmas is finally over and also we had a new visitor

You may be looking at the title and thinking, What, just now? Isn't this a bit late? (Or, I guess, you might be looking at the title and thinking, What, already? --in which case this post probably isn't for you.) But yes, we finally got together with the last piece of the family to have some dinner and exchange gifts, so now Christmas is finally, officially over for us. 

Why did it take this long? Well, as usual it was a combination of things, with people being out of town, medical issues, and the logistics of getting someone in a different branch of the family moved into a new apartment. Most of that was not our burden to bear, for which I'm grateful; we just had to work with the timing for it. 

In unrelated news, we had a neighbor stop by and ask to use our phone. We're assuming she's a neighbor, anyway; we've seen her once before, and she does seem to be living nearby. Beautiful Wife sensibly handed her the landline rather than her cellphone, then invited her in for a cup of tea. 

I did not catch her name, but she comes across as a very-sweet-if-somewhat-daft older woman. We first met her a few weeks ago, when she knocked on the door to make sure we knew that the hose was running in our front yard. (We did. Beautiful Wife was slow-watering the yard.) This was before the election, and she let drop that of the four presidential candidates, only one was actually an American citizen. Which... we pretty much just slid right past that part, because that is a level of batshittery that neither of us was prepared to engage with. 

She explained a bit more after using the phone: she's living with one of our neighbors, she's got grandchildren up in Oregon, she's got money troubles -- hence the need to borrow our phone -- but really, it'll all be okay. How so? Well, she put her money in an investment, and after the inauguration that investment is going to be worth a whole lot more. Then she'll have money to pay her bills and help out her family. So what did she invest in? Well, she hems and haws for a moment and then admits that it's Trump Bucks, and after the inauguration she's going to be able to use them as currency. 

All of this is delivered with the serene confidence of a True Believer, and I am here to say that neither of us had any idea at all how to respond to that revelation. 

Because what we have here, apparently, is a very nice older woman who has no idea that she's been scammed out of whatever remained of her life's savings... Or, a very convincing plant trying to scam us with the hope of getting filthy rich after the election... Or, just maybe, both. If it's the first case, then judging by her demeanor she is never going to believe us if we try to tell her it's a scam. If it's the second -- or the third -- possibility, then she must have been disappointed because neither one of us was even going to touch that topic. Either way, this was a whole other level of batshittery that we just slid right past.

Still, if we do see her again I need to ask who sold her on the Trump Bucks, and at least suggest that she get in touch with the local police; the situation might be a lot more clear after the inauguration. Or, since we weren't interested in Trump Bucks and similar fuckery ourselves, we may simply never see her again. We don't really know that she lives in the area, after all. If she is part of the scam, then I doubt she'll want to hang around long enough to be identifiable -- and having her show up out of nowhere, twice, gets more suspicious the more I think about it. 

I've also contacted our telecom to make sure that there aren't any weird charges from that day that are going to show up on my bill at the end of the month, since I can picture a scenario where you borrow someone's phone and use it to call some sort of paid service in exchange for a kickback. No idea whether that's really a thing or not, though. And in in any case, our provider confirms that there aren't any additional charges on the account.

Minor update: So, she showed back up again later in the week, and asked Beautiful Wife if she could pay her to drive her some places. Beautiful Wife told that she had some meetings and couldn't do it, and then politely closed the door. So our current read on the situation is that this neighbor is exactly what she appears to be -- sweet, dignified, and batshit -- and she's zeroed in on us as Those Nice People Who Might Help Out.

2025's going to be an interesting year.

Challenge: Something I'm Proud Of

(This post is part of the Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge. You can find links to other writers' answers over at Long and Short Reviews.)

Prompt: Something I'm proud of doing

Well, okay. I've got a solid answer for this one. Positively heroic, even. 

A few months ago -- just a bit before Thanksgiving, I think -- I happened to be in my local Target and I happened to be waiting in line to check out. There was an older man, white-haired but spry, buzzing around the checkout lanes. I'd guess he was in his late fifties to early sixties, but he might have been older and just very active. 

Anyway, he's moving around grabbing gift cards off the racks in front of the registers, and the nice woman in front of me (also a customer) is helpfully pointing him to where he can find more of them. He finally gets a nice big handful together, and turns back...

...At which point I catch his eye. "It's none of my business," I tell him, because he looks like the sort of guy who'd appreciate the sentiment, "but... you're getting those cards for yourself, right? For your own personal use? You didn't get an email asking you to rush out and buy a bunch of them?"

And he says, "Well, no, but my boss--" He stops. He looks at me. Then he says, "It's a scam, isn't it?"

I nod. "I would bet serious money that it's a scam. I'd get in touch with your boss and double-check before you pay for any of that."

He just shakes his head, looking disgusted, and sets the whole pile back on the little shelf. Then he thanks me and walks out of the store.

So there's something I'm proud of: I'm proud of saving that one random guy from getting ripped off. And I'm proud of making one scammer's day just a little more frustrating.

A Scam I Can Get Behind

It occurs to me that if I'm ever going to go into - ahem - "business" as a scammer, I really need to come up with a scam I can deliver convincingly... or at least enthusiastic. And I think the "Spellcasting Miracle Worker" scam might be just the thing. I mean, I probably wouldn't be that convincing, but... well, look at this thing that showed up in my comments:

My names is Cathy i want to testify about the great spell caster called Scammer Amuck my husband and i have been married or 5 years now we don't have a child and the doctor told us i can't give birth because my womb have been damaged due to wrong drugs prescription this got me so worried and my husband was not happy so he decided to get married to another girl and divorce me i was so sad i told my friend about it she told me about a powerful spell caster she gave me his email address well i never believe in it that much though i just decided to give him a try and he told me it will take 24hrs to get my husband back to me and i will get pregnant i doubted him the 3rd day my husband came back to me and was crying he said he didn't want the divorce anymore 3 weeks after the doctor confirmed that i was pregnant he can also help you Email him at spellcastingscammer@somegenerichost.com or spellcastingscammer@equallygenericemailhost.com

I mean, convincing is probably pushing things a bit, but I could deliver a pitch like that with maniacal, hyperbolic enthusiasm. That'd be close enough, right? And as a special bonus, I'd throw in some punctuation.

That Treasury Department Scam Has Upped Its Game...

So, remember the Legal Affairs Department of the United States Treasury scam from a while back?

Well, they're back, and evidently they've been listening to their critics. (Well, not the part where their critics point out that they're bad people, and that they need to stop what they're doing and find a better way to live. No, they're just listening to the parts where their critics have pointed out obvious flaws in their delivery.)

I just got a message from the "I.R.S." ("Internal Revenue Service") explaining that this was their final notice, and they were suing me. So, this time they've actually got the correct government agency. They've also got a passably well-spoken robot voice reading the script, instead of that one woman with the nearly-indecipherable accent.

So, how would you know this was a scam?

1. The I.R.S. will never call you up to tell you that they're initiating legal action. Government agencies simply don't work that way. You'll receive a proper legal notice, on real, physical paper, that you can touch and hold and keep for your records.

2. The computer voice left a phone number with a 206 area code (Seattle, if you're curious), but no additional information: no case number, no contact name, no reference, no directions for how to look up the details of your case on the I.R.S. website. Again, government agencies simply don't work that way. They simply don't ever call you up and try to scare you into calling them back. No, not even in Obama's America, not even with the End of Days rapidly approaching. They just don't. They've invested millions of dollars in their websites and databases, and they will direct you to those resources if at all possible. The more citizens who get their information online, the fewer employees the agency has to keep around (and keep paying) to answer the phones. This message was far too generic to be real.

3. Government agencies sure as hell don't use robo-calls to initiate legal action against people. Nobody does. There are reasons for this.

4. This is my "final notice" but also somehow the first I've heard of it? Nonsense. Again, they're trying to scare people into not thinking clearly. And it probably works, at least enough to make it profitable.

I'm tempted to call them up under an assumed name, preferably from a payphone (if I can find one) or a disposable cell phone (if I can't). Not tempted enough to actually do it, but tempted. I'm sure it's naive, but I'd like to explain that they're doing bad things in the service of bad people; that they need to stop doing this, and find a better way to live. There's always the hope, right?

The Legal Affairs Department of the United States Treasury...

...Does not exist. Let me just get that out of the way first: there is no such thing as the Legal Affairs Department of the U.S. Treasury.

I mention this because I came home the other night to find a message on our answering machine from a "Sharon Martin", who -- in an accent so palpably thick that I honestly couldn't tell whether it was Indian or Jamaican -- claimed to be representing the Legal Affairs Department of the Treasury, and to be giving notice of a legal action being initiated against {Beautiful Wife's first name}. She then a gave a phone number, and suggested that if we were unable to call ourselves, we should have our attorney call them. It is, in other words, a message that was purpose-built to scare the living &*^% out of people.

Admittedly, it would have been a lot more terrifying if I hadn't had to play it back three times before I could manage to decipher the woman's accent.

Still, since this is the sort of stress that none of us need in our lives - especially at this time of year - and since the scam must work at least some of the time (or else they wouldn't be using it), I'd just like to point out a few warning signs that you should keep in mind if you get a call like this:

1. There's no such thing as the Department of Legal Affairs of the U.S. Treasury. Did I mention that?
2. Even if there were, the Treasury is not responsible for collecting taxes.
3. Legitimate legal notifications do not come from random strangers phoning you up, no matter how stern or authoritative they might sound. The legal system and the federal government are both inordinately fond of paperwork. Calling people up, not so much.
4. Even if you actually owe the government money, they will not demand that you pay it right this minute, or else LEGAL ACTION. No, not even in Obama's America. Despite what some people apparently like to believe, Teh Gummint doesn't work that way. They will have sensible methods to accept payments, which will not involve things like wire transfers or asking for your credit card number.

There seems to be quite a lot of this going around, so be warned and be wary.

A scam within a scam...

So, every once in a while I'll post a little public-service message about some scam or other. For example: This is a Scam. Usually this is because I've run into the thing myself.

However, every once in a while I'm reminded of one of those older posts because someone... well... comments on them:

Yes. That.

Really.

This is a scam

This showed up in my inbox this morning. If you ever run into anything like it, be advised: it's a pretty classic scam. The idea is to make you so scared/worried/concerned that you'll send money before you have a chance to find out that the person who supposedly sent the request is actually still sitting on their couch at home and has no idea that this e-mail even exists. (The same scam can actually be done over the phone, but that's more work and less reliable, so it seldom gets done that way anymore.)

I really don't mean to inconvenience you right now but I made a quick trip to Scotland UK and had MY bags stolen, in which contains MY passports and credit cards. I know this may sound odd, but it happened very fast. I've been to the embassy and they're willing to help us fly without our passport but I just have to pay for my tickets and settle some bills. Right now I'm out of cash plus i can't access our bank without my credit card here.I've made contact with them but they need more verification.I was thinking of asking you to lend me some funds now and I'll pay back as soon as I get home. We need to get on the next available flight.

Please reply as soon as you can if you are ok with this so I can forward the details as to where to send the funds. You can reach me via Carmelite hotel's desk phone if you can, the number is +447035907125 or via my alternative email {there used to be an email address here}.

I advise contacting the person who supposedly sent the e-mail immediately, so that they can get in touch with friends, family, and mailing lists to make sure nobody gets taken in. Changing the passwords on your e-mail accounts is also recommended.