My Battle Sword

So I've gone outside, because Secondborn "needs someone to battle with". I was all ready for a good old nerf-weapons fight, but apparently that's not what he has in mind. "In this part of the game, we have to find our weapons. They have been hidden around." So I wander the back yard, thinking wistfully of the giant nerf battle axe in the living room.

Then he comes back with a pair of sticks. "These are swords," he says. "I have this one, so I don't need these two."

I reach down and pick one up. "I'll take this one."

"That one," he explains, "is called The Undead Sword That Can Kill Anyone. Also, it shoots lasers at people."

Well. All right, then. That -- THAT -- will be my weapon.