Thursday, August 14, 2014

Schell Elementary

It has come to my attention that there exists (in the bustling suburban metropolis of Plano, Texas) a place known as the A.R. Schell Jr. Elementary School.

This means that if the signs for the school were designed correctly, they could simply read "Schell School". Students could then, hypothetically, decide for themselves whether it made more sense to pronounce it as "Shell Shool" or "Skell Skool", as the actual pronunciation in correct modern English makes no sense whatsoever, and in fact seems deliberately designed to thumb its nose at consistency. ("Hooked On Phonics worked for me," my fat fanny...)

I also note from their website that their school mascot is the Coyote. Honestly, who is running this shool district - excuse me, this school district? How could anyone in their right mind resist the allure of naming themselves the Schell Snails? What is this country coming to?

2 comments:

  1. the actual pronunciation in correct modern English makes no sense whatsoever, and in fact seems deliberately designed to thumb its nose at consistency. ("Hooked On Phonics worked for me," my fat fanny...)

    Well, that's what happens when you mug other languages in dark alleys and go riffling through their pockets for vocabulary: you get the ghoti.

    (Asexual pride flags do not come standard on ghoties. That was just the first picture I had on hand.)

    (For anyone who's never heard the ghoti joke before: "gh" as in "rough", "o" as in "women", "ti" as in "-tion".)

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  2. I once caught a ghoti this big...

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