Journals are something that Firstborn is doing at school. (He's in first grade.) They're basically a set of pages where the kids write brief stories or thoughts, usually based on some sort of writing prompt, and then draw pictures to go along with them. When they're done, the journals go home so the parents can... appreciate them. I appreciated this one so much that I'm going to share it with the rest of you. With comments. For your general edification and personal improvement.
My February Journal
1. I like February because of zombies. Who doesn't?
2. The groundhog saw his shadow in the zombie dark. I don't know what zombie dark is, but I bet I'd go back down in my hole, too.
3. I love it when plants grow. Presumably because they help protect us from the zombies.
4. Happy 100 (little picture of a skull, superset) day of school. If Firstborn got to name this as a holiday, I rather imagine it would be Zombie Day.
5. If I had a monkey, he would be a zombie. Zombie monkey!
6. Today is our field trip. I hope I see trees and zombies. I'm good with trees, but if we're being honest I hope you don't see any zombies. Unless it's a field trip to the Zombie Zoo. That would be okay, if a little... Petty.
7. My favorite animal is a scorpion. (and a zombie) Yes, he actually used parentheses. Also, the drawing of the scorpion has the word "snap!" in the picture, next to one of the claws.
8. My valentine is cool and has a drawn gun on it and it looks daungeres! "Daungeres" is actually the word "dangerous". I think Firstborn is using the French spelling.
9. Yesterday I went to mousum. That would actually be a museum. Presumably there weren't any zombies.
10. This one is a jumble of numbers set up for addition. Like this:
...Except that all the zeroes are skulls. At the bottom, it says:
Apparently zombie math is different from regular math. Maybe you only carry the one if you plan to eat its brain later?
11. The rain was so hard that it broke zombie town. Not, you understand, that zombie town has much in the way of building codes.
12. I am good when I'm in school. Well... mostly...
13. On my weekend I went to GG. In addition to zombies, the boy has a deep appreciation of Genghis Grill. He's even put a circle around the double Gs, to imitate the logo.
14. I put on a magic ring and I turned into a Phonix! I'm really torn. On the one hand, where was I when he turned into a phoenix? And why did he bother to change back? On the other hand, I can't help thinking: "Hooked on Phonix worked for me!"
15. When I get hurt, I get help. I'm pleased to hear it. Really, really pleased to hear it.
16. When I see a phenix I see a Vexx. That's my boy: king of the obscure PS2 game references!
I'm frankly amazed I don't get calls from his teacher more often.