Thursday, March 7, 2013

Notes from the Mad Science Lab: Microminiature Supercomputer

Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. I have an important announcement. After months of work, I have created a working prototype for a micro-miniaturized supercomputer. This system is only the size of your thumbnail, but it possesses more storage capacity than the entire Internet - and more processing power than the combined brains of everyone using the Internet... without, I might add, the peculiar obsessions with bacon and pictures of cats.

It was my intention to demonstrate this marvelous device for you here today. Unfortunately, on my way to the podium, I... dropped it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please! Remain in your seats. If you set your feet down to look for it, you run the very real risk of... What's that, Hauer? You want me to look at... the bottom... of your shoe. Oh.

Very well, ladies and gentlemen. Today's exhibition is canceled. Doctor Hauer, I assume you understand that I will have my vengeance upon you. I will, of course, give you the customary two hours, so you can begin taking suitable precautions and employing countermeasures. For the rest of you, I must bid you good evening. There are refreshments in the antechamber. My assistant, Perkins, will see you out while I go plot my revenge.

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